Marriage and the Power of Divorce

Aazrael said:

I'm not really sure what's the diagnosis is atm. She got burned out during a summer working due to high load before the pandemic. Then got diagnosed with adhd and haven't been back to work since then. I guess burnout and depression or something. The glorious health are system isn't working all that smoothly nowadays even here in socialist Sweden so it's fucking slow getting help.

Click to expand...

Plenty of ppl have ADD and live perfectly normal and healthy lives. Look at me. It’s not a death sentence.

Aazrael said:

Looking at the signs for depression she pretty much ticks all of them. As mentioned earlier I have never really associated with people with mental issues as my family has been spared from that stuff.

Click to expand...

Uhhh look where you’re posting right now..

Aazrael said:

Next time, if there is one. I won't turn a blind eye on warning signs just to find someone to be with, but I was really happy when I met her and we have had a good numbers of years together doing fun and exciting stuff. it started getting slightly worse when she stopped working and the last 6 months has been slowly declining.

One thing I knew from the start was that she needed something new and exciting to happen regularly, like getting a Cat, then after a while that was not enough and she started looking at the next thing to buy/adopt. Then she gets "overwhelmed" with taking too much time to care for them and she puts them up for adoption. We've had many animals in the house and everything besides the cats and dogs are gone now. With her economy in ruin she can't get stuff now and I can't pay for her luxuary items as I got a household to keep running. And it's like now that she can't get the next thing for her rush it's over and she needs to flee.

Click to expand...

As someone who has dated a woman like that in the past, it's 100% the right thing to "leave". She CONSTANTLY needed some new form of stimulation, constantly needed to be on the "roller coaster ride", if you will. As somebody who is very content with 4 walls, a chair, a bed, and not much else, it gets exhausting. I did the same thing for a while, buying into the sunken cost fallacy and cliches - "Nobody is perfect", "relationships are hard", etc.

It took me about 3 weeks after I left to realize, "Jesus Christ, why didn't I do this sooner! I feel like I can breath again!".

Aazrael said:

And I don't want to paint her as some insane person using me for my money. She has paid her part of the living cost for at least 6 years, it's the last few months that has gone bad.

Click to expand...

This is just the beginning of the spiral dude, trust me. It sounds like the girl has some mental health issues, but those are HER issues to sort out. You don't MAKE somebody happy, nor they you. You make YOURSELF happy and others should compliment that - you shouldn't be reliant on it.

Srathor said:

She is the old MMO that you have leveled on. No new experience, no new kinky levels. No new moves.

Cancel your subscription. Go find a new MMO to play with and level there.
The graphics will be better.
The systems will be fresh and new with fresh problems and solutions.
Don't worry about the new pvp flagging system, that will get patched out as you level.

Have Fun! The first few weeks are the best.

Click to expand...

This is honestly a fucking PERFECT description of the situation and what the course of action should be. To tie it to MMOs on this forum...fuckin' well done.

Aazrael said:

To simp a bit, the little I caught she was not blaming me for anything, she felt bad for me for having to support her and such. But also mentioned she felt stuck now due to that, and yea she can't buy anything now as her money will mostly cover food and phone bills.

Click to expand...

That's a trap. At this point, her lifestyle and in some aspects YOU, have become her "addiction" and what she relies on. People who genuinely feel bad seek the help required to change and get better.

"Gosh! I feel so bad that I'm hurting you financially and mentally...I'm just going to keep doing it though. Because I feel so bad about it, remember!"

Ridas said:

Then find a strong viking woman and pillage the English coast.

Click to expand...

SKOL!

Best advice is right here above.

You are now in a place called “inside the box”. It’s a place where reason and common sense are ignored for emotion. I want you to take yourself outside the box, or hell, pretend you are reading what you wrote from someone else here. What would you say to them? Then follow the advice you just gave them.

After that, kick her out instead of letting her manipulate the situation (she will be better off) and trust me, she will be “wait… this little Jedi mind trick isn’t going to plan” and will start rationalizing with you. Follow through with the boot and move on with your life.

Then, I’ll fly out there and we will pillage the English coast together because Brits are cocky pieces of shit that deserve nothing less than a Viking hammer to the head.

That is all.

Kirun said:

You're suffering from a sunken cost fallacy right now, brother. It'll be ok. As a dude who has been through numerous long-term relationships, the ONLY thing you ever miss about past relationships is the sex (and even then, only if they were good at it).

Click to expand...

This. The red flags out there are so severe that if the worst that happens is you lose two dogs out of the deal, consider yourself fortunate. Two years LOA for mental health issues screams total life destruction waiting to happen. There are other fish in the sea. And I don't care how good in the sack she might be, no amount of golden blowjobs is worth that level of crazy and life issues.

You need to look at this as a golden chance to restart your own personal life without someone completely in the tank sucking your emotional and financial well being out of you the entire time. Short term it will be painful, but within six months you will mostly just be mad for wasting time on a failed relationship.

Kiki said:

I mean have you ever gotten 6 blowjobs in a row without stopping from a crazy redhead? It might have been worth it.

Click to expand...

The only time that happened to you was when you stole your sisters Raggedy Ann last week.

Mrs. Gravy said:

Goodgolly, I have a lot of catching up to do.
In my world, I am still Mrs. Gravy, still happily with Steady, still healthy, active and well.
It has been 6 years since G enrolled in hospice and shared his death journey with you.
As always...I am ever grateful for the lot of you who were with him through his time here.

Click to expand...

He was a solid dude.

Whatever you do, don’t date Kiki