Marry / Fuck / Cage - FOH Version


<Silver Donator>
You have been tasked with establishing a remote outpost in the jungles of Borneo. Your cohorts on this expedition will be any three FOH forum members of your choosing, which will be assigned to the following roles:

Platonic Spouse / Marry: Your life partner & closest confident. The person that you fall asleep and wake up next to. Have inside jokes with and bitch about the Chargers with. Light groping is allowed, penetration is not.

Cum Dumpster / Gut Puncher / Fuck: Your dirty little tubesock. You can keep your fleshy sex toy chained up in the basement or dress them up like a real person and give them a seat at your dinner table. Your Choice.

Disposable Sherpa / Evil Spirit Ward / Cage: Your 3rd pick was convicted of an unconscionable crime and sentenced to life imprisonment in a crow's cage, acting as your sherpa during the first part of the expedition. Following the arrival at your new outpost, your 3rd pick will be locked in a crow's cage at a strategic location of your choosing to ward of evil spirits and curious little brown people with blow guns or whatever. It is your responsibility to keep this person alive for the duration of your stay, and they will not be permitted to leave the crow's cage once put inside of it.

The fine print:
1. You are not immune to mutiny.

2. You have an unlimited supply of birth control.

3. Gavinmad Gavinmad is not going to fuck you.


<Silver Donator>
My picks -

Marry: Kiroy Kiroy . The guy knows how to farm and seems like a really good spooner. I want to curl up next to him in bed and watch the stars pass as he whispers stories about communists being thrown out of helicopters.

Fuck: sadris sadris . A party of three in a hostile jungle is no time to waste a third of the picks on a woman, and I think this red-blooded firecracker could suck every memory of a woman right out of me.

Cage: This was the hardest one for me. My first impulse was to pick Teekey Teekey , but I feel like he would be broken without a month or two and it doesn't sound fun throwing rocks at a caged & unresponsive lump of shit. I figured Screamfeeder Screamfeeder would have a stronger constitution and the added benefit of bringing some humorous one-liners to the table, but I thought his demeanor would eventually impact morale.

So I settled on Lithose Lithose , who would be prominently displayed in a gilded cage in the dining hall of our outpost, serving as the adjudicator of disputes.

fred sanford

<Gold Donor>
103d 12h 28m
This thread is going to get gay very quick with the lack of female presence on a gaming message board.
  • 1Worf
Reactions: Izo