If you live in New England, there really is no reason NOT to be a Patriots fan. Its like living in the Bay Area in the 80s and not being a Niners fan, or living in Pittsburgh in the 70s and rooting for someone else. You are in the midst of witnessing the greatest dynasty in football history if they win the Super Bowl this year. Tom Brady is the best QB of all time. Belichick is second greatest coach in NFL history (Lombardi). Gronk is Gronking at Jordan levels. Edelman is the greatest jewish slot receiver ever. Gostowski was born without the ability to miss field goals. Jamie Collins is the most athletic player in the league. Dion Lewis is simply fun to watch.
In 2014, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a NFL court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the New England underground. Today, still wanted by the NFL they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The Patriots.