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You work and she doesn't, why would you take turns? What the shit, man. Taking care of the baby is literally her job.
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You work and she doesn't, why would you take turns? What the shit, man. Taking care of the baby is literally her job.
Noodleface
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Well, ok. Fair enough then.
Just one day, take a secret tally every time your wife asks you to do something. Doesn't matter what it is. Help me with this. Take that that place. Also tally how many things you ask her to do.
Show it to her at the end of the day. You will not get sex that day, but it might make a dent in the constant lack of consideration with how they demand you do shit.
Noodleface
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I think as the kid sleeps more it'll get better, it did with the first kid (had 4 weeks off then too).
Also we can't have sex for 6 weeks anyways. Don't even ask how long it's been.
Also we can't have sex for 6 weeks anyways. Don't even ask how long it's been.
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Well yea the kid will get better, which might solve the problem, but when you go back to work in 4 weeks it's not gonna be much different. If she's still waking you up every night, I feel like thats unfair to you.
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My second kid was easy as hell. Slept like a dream from day one. First one not so much. The problem with the second one was not the kid but the wife. she went through some crazy postpartum depression. She would get nuts in fits of rage out of nowhere. Lasted for a good six months until it finally subsided.
Noodleface
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ToeMissile
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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My wife has always been good about not waking me up unless she's really having a rough time; baby won't sleep/shit-ocolypse/etc. She's stubborn though and didn't allow herself to recover initially. Would stay up all night and would try not to bother me until she was ready to collapse.
We've both been back to work since around the end of spring break. I tend to get up if its before 2 or 3am, and she'll get up after then.
We've both been back to work since around the end of spring break. I tend to get up if its before 2 or 3am, and she'll get up after then.
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Would recommend to stick with your own gut instinct and not complain. Both of you might feel unfairly slighted somehow because life just is not fair that way, just part of being a parent feeling like that. Just helping out quietly will make it easier to start a mature rational conversation later on when both of you are closer to 100% and can both share how you feel without fingerpointing and hear each others perspectives. With both of you having your best wits about you.
Afterwards, with lots of practice, my wife and I slowly got better at being able to calmly and fairly discuss issues with divisions of labour we would like to contemplate/suggest/set/change or adjust. In my experience more kids we got, more important those conversations became. These sorts of conversations are always rough as hell at first (for both of us felt like WTF was I thinking even trying at first, as if it would have been better to be quiet), but every one was worth the effort IMO. As a result we have both learned to empathize with each others situation much better. Never ends, always a work in progress, but it has gotten 1000x easier and brought us closer together.
Besides that I found Involving the older kids with the newborns helps everyone be happier. Showing them the ropes, teaching and guiding always helped with their natural jealousy too. Just going through the motions as if they were doing something (for little ones) is great. It is often difficult and seems like more effort than its worth, but I find easier and nicer than dealing with jealousy and anger hehe.
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I never got the unfair thing. I didnt have the privilege of taking too much time off from work, maybe a week. Back then I was contract and didn thave the 1.5 months off like I do now. But even if I did wake up or whatever, I never felt slighted simply knowing that she basically took care of both kids 24/7, in fact I felt guilty that I was not doing more and stepped up on helping her more like chores and shit at that time and of course taking first shift at night, which let her go to bed at about 7PM, and I would take care of kid until 2AM, but it ended up being that he fed right about that time, so he would go another 3-4 hours before next feeding which let her get that sleep she needed. But honestly the moms cannot sleep anyway, its like an innate baby monitor going off anytime the kid even whimpers.
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Big_w_powah
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Speaking of toxic.
I've shared before how my Son and his Sister were adopted by different families...
Well, Sis is older and all moved out, whoring it up like a white girl with Daddy issues (literally is one)..We have so far maneuvered around them getting together to see each other..But its kinda getting harder and harder to have an excuse each and every time....This chick is just plain fucking toxic. We've monitored communications, and this chick will tell my Son that his adoptive mom (my wife) is a dumb whore, shouldn't be a lazy ass living off of someone else, and thats the tame shit she says. She will also degrade my son, etc...To the point where each time he gets close contact with her his anxiety goes through the roof, behaviors revert to like, a 9 year olds behaviors....You get the picture. She's bad news.
I want to just have a "listen here little girl, you're a toxic fucking cunt. Back off my family" talk with her...But not sure this will land well with my Son. Anyone have any good ideas on how to handle this in a way I don't have to potentially face a murder charge?
I've shared before how my Son and his Sister were adopted by different families...
Well, Sis is older and all moved out, whoring it up like a white girl with Daddy issues (literally is one)..We have so far maneuvered around them getting together to see each other..But its kinda getting harder and harder to have an excuse each and every time....This chick is just plain fucking toxic. We've monitored communications, and this chick will tell my Son that his adoptive mom (my wife) is a dumb whore, shouldn't be a lazy ass living off of someone else, and thats the tame shit she says. She will also degrade my son, etc...To the point where each time he gets close contact with her his anxiety goes through the roof, behaviors revert to like, a 9 year olds behaviors....You get the picture. She's bad news.
I want to just have a "listen here little girl, you're a toxic fucking cunt. Back off my family" talk with her...But not sure this will land well with my Son. Anyone have any good ideas on how to handle this in a way I don't have to potentially face a murder charge?
iannis
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It sounds like you mean from different families?
by different families means that you sold them to the gypsies.
No advice though. That's a rough situation if she's coming back just to turn your son against his mother.
Maybe something along the lines of "Look, we did what we could for you. There comes a point where it is no longer my problem. That point came and left when you left our house. This shit that you're dealing with? Being adopted, unloved, unsupported, and hating the people who took you in because there's just no one else to hate? That's on you and you're the one who has to figgure that shit out. Not me. Not your brother. Don't put that shit on him."
But easier said than done, and even saying it it sounds pretty stupid.
She wants to be an adult. Well, she is one now whether she likes it or not.
by different families means that you sold them to the gypsies.
No advice though. That's a rough situation if she's coming back just to turn your son against his mother.
Maybe something along the lines of "Look, we did what we could for you. There comes a point where it is no longer my problem. That point came and left when you left our house. This shit that you're dealing with? Being adopted, unloved, unsupported, and hating the people who took you in because there's just no one else to hate? That's on you and you're the one who has to figgure that shit out. Not me. Not your brother. Don't put that shit on him."
But easier said than done, and even saying it it sounds pretty stupid.
She wants to be an adult. Well, she is one now whether she likes it or not.
Prodigal
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I believe he means he and his wife have an adopted son whose biological sister was adopted by someone else.
That's a tough situation - damn, I'd be trying to figure out how not to make those mistakes everyone says you make when you commit - well, you know.
Noodleface
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Big_w_powah
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Xarpolis
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My daughter lost her first baby tooth today. We are planning on giving her $5 for the normal teeth, and $10 per molar. This amounts to $140 for all 20 baby teeth.
Is this reasonable? How much did you guys spend? We want to be nice, without giving her way too fucking much. Someone at our pool suggested $100 per tooth. Fuck no to this $2k horse shit for all her teeth. Hawaii is too wealthy. Blah!
Is this reasonable? How much did you guys spend? We want to be nice, without giving her way too fucking much. Someone at our pool suggested $100 per tooth. Fuck no to this $2k horse shit for all her teeth. Hawaii is too wealthy. Blah!
Noodleface
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