Parent Thread

Woefully Inept

Woefully Inept

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Well we've started potty training and so far it's going great. Every time I go I ask if he wants to sit on his potty and every time he says yes. So far we've got 4 pees and a bomb fart. Cheer raucously for each one and he lights up. Bought some training undies for him and he was incredibly excited to wear the Lightning McQueen ones. Mostly because he's a car and not the character itself. He'd go apeshit if we got ones with dump trucks and excavators. Fingers crossed he drops a deuce soon. Going to throw a party for him.
 
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reavor

reavor

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have a pretty bad case of baby fever... me and the missus are trying, and have been for a while. it's hard when one has been feeling ready for a family a long time, and in the mid 30s.
 
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Ao-

Ao-

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reavor said:
have a pretty bad case of baby fever... me and the missus are trying, and have been for a while. it's hard when one has been feeling ready for a family a long time, and in the mid 30s.
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It took over a year of trying for our first kid. We sort of lucked out: My wife checked out one of those medical testing companies, and they were looking for couples trying to have children. They needed samples of pre- and post-fertilization urine in order to build/test new pregnancy tests. So we got a ton of supplies for checking temperature, fertility, etc, but also had to collect urine twice a day and deliver it weekly (while keeping it cold). In the end it helped and we got some money.
I might recommend checking that out for anyone in your situation.
 
Prodigal

Prodigal

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So as one of the old farts with older kids (hell one is officially an adult) I have been dealing with their relationship issues. Loads of fun.

So my son plays football and when people ask him why he says because he loves to hit people. One night out of the blue his girlfriend asks him in a text what he's going to do when he no longer plays football. He's like "what do you mean?" She's concerned about him not having that outlet for his aggression...

He looks at me and his mother with a bewildered expression - I quickly reply "Tell her you'll probably kick puppies and kittens as a hobby." So he does - and she comes back with "your dad told you to say that, didn't he?"
 
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Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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Prodigal said:
So as one of the old farts with older kids (hell one is officially an adult) I have been dealing with their relationship issues. Loads of fun.

So my son plays football and when people ask him why he says because he loves to hit people. One night out of the blue his girlfriend asks him in a text what he's going to do when he no longer plays football. He's like "what do you mean?" She's concerned about him not having that outlet for his aggression...

He looks at me and his mother with a bewildered expression - I quickly reply "Tell her you'll probably kick puppies and kittens as a hobby." So he does - and she comes back with "your dad told you to say that, didn't he?"
Click to expand...

Umm, tell him to tell her he'll take up blacksmithing, beat the fuck out of white hot metal.

It works best if he adds "So I dont have to beat hot white girls"
 
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Noodleface

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Ao- said:
It took over a year of trying for our first kid. We sort of lucked out: My wife checked out one of those medical testing companies, and they were looking for couples trying to have children. They needed samples of pre- and post-fertilization urine in order to build/test new pregnancy tests. So we got a ton of supplies for checking temperature, fertility, etc, but also had to collect urine twice a day and deliver it weekly (while keeping it cold). In the end it helped and we got some money.
I might recommend checking that out for anyone in your situation.
Click to expand...
I understand he struggle is no joke, but all 3 times my wife got pregnant like the first goddamn month. I was looking forward to fucking in all sorts of positions and times of the day. Rushing home from work early to lay some pipe then head back.

I got none of that...
 
Siliconemelons

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Noodleface said:
I understand he struggle is no joke, but all 3 times my wife got pregnant like the first goddamn month. I was looking forward to fucking in all sorts of positions and times of the day. Rushing home from work early to lay some pipe then head back.

I got none of that...
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Lol, same here- and thankfully blessed to do so, the first one we talked about and tried and bingo - the 2nd we just had to think about it and she was pregnant. Awesome Greek sperm and all that.

But the preggers sex was awesome so it made up for it lol
 
lurkingdirk

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Noodleface said:
I understand he struggle is no joke, but all 3 times my wife got pregnant like the first goddamn month. I was looking forward to fucking in all sorts of positions and times of the day. Rushing home from work early to lay some pipe then head back.

I got none of that...
Click to expand...

I wanted that, too, but it seemed like when we decided to have another, we shouldn't be in the same room together. We seemed able to get pregnant while both fully clothed at church. It was crazy.

Xadion said:
But the preggers sex was awesome so it made up for it lol
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My wife's pregnancy could be described by trimester in this way:
1. sick
2. hungry
3. horny. Like crazy horny. so much pregnant sex.
 
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Big_w_powah

Big_w_powah

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lurkingdirk said:
I wanted that, too, but it seemed like when we decided to have another, we shouldn't be in the same room together. We seemed able to get pregnant while both fully clothed at church. It was crazy.



My wife's pregnancy could be described by trimester in this way:
1. sick
2. hungry
3. horny. Like crazy horny. so much pregnant sex.
Click to expand...

If you're noodle:

4. Murder an entire cult to bring forth the demon spawn in his bathroom
 
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Noodleface

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The bathroom thing.. man I can joke about it now but that was the most scared I've ever been in my life. If the dude didn't come out screaming I would've been so heartbroken. Of course now he's a jerk.

But wait. Last night finally.. FINALLY.. he slept. He woke up at 445 to eat. Fell instantly asleep and woke up again at 730. Maybe it was a fluke, but it was the first good night sleep I've gotten in 2 months.

Also took the 2 year old to a bounce house place at the mall. He just joined the roaming group of kids and played for 4 hours straight. Had the absolute time of his life.

Then the battery in my wife's car died... But that's another story
 
Cad

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Noodleface said:
The bathroom thing.. man I can joke about it now but that was the most scared I've ever been in my life. If the dude didn't come out screaming I would've been so heartbroken. Of course now he's a jerk.

But wait. Last night finally.. FINALLY.. he slept. He woke up at 445 to eat. Fell instantly asleep and woke up again at 730. Maybe it was a fluke, but it was the first good night sleep I've gotten in 2 months.

Also took the 2 year old to a bounce house place at the mall. He just joined the roaming group of kids and played for 4 hours straight. Had the absolute time of his life.

Then the battery in my wife's car died... But that's another story
Click to expand...

Little kids that age playing together are great. If you watch they very rarely actually play WITH each other. More like they just play near each other and all do their own thing but sort of in a pack. It's pretty hilarious to watch.
 
Noodleface

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Yeah the pack thing for sure is true. It was just fun watching him do his thing. He kept asking me to play but it's tough to tell a kid they probably don't want a 225 6'3" dude slamming around in there
 
Crone

Crone

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Noodleface said:
Yeah the pack thing for sure is true. It was just fun watching him do his thing. He kept asking me to play but it's tough to tell a kid they probably don't want a 225 6'3" dude slamming around in there
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Dang bruh, you swoll AF now!

There's a few bounce houses around here that are awesome. Kind of expensive at $20 but that gets you 4 hours. It's in the mall and most of the time you can walk by and just see all the yoga pant moms on their phones while their kids play.
 
Xarpolis

Xarpolis

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Tyler Kyo Hayden was introduced to the world at 7:03am this morning. Kyo means a trusted leader that's pure of heart.

He weighed 7lbs, 15.8oz. And measured 20.75" long.

Hf5j3qB.jpg


PHQ5w8r.jpg
 
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