Parent Thread

iannis

iannis

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I'm not trying to be a dic k at all. She's right at puberty, sure she isn't parent shopping?

It's not a reason not to take her or want her. Changes what you do with her a little bit when you get her. She's never had to have you discipline her. She's gonna think you're the land of milk and honey.
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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iannis said:
I'm not trying to be a dic k at all. She's right at puberty, sure she isn't parent shopping?

It's not a reason not to take her or want her. Changes what you do with her a little bit when you get her. She's never had to have you discipline her. She's gonna think you're the land of milk and honey.
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This isn't a dick question. It's a smart question. Teen girls are mighty manipulative, I know from experience. But there are times when you can trust them. And sometimes you have to be their parent to know when that is.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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She’s wanted to for a couple years but I told her if she still wanted to when she hit 13 we’d start the process of trying to make that happen. At that point a judge will listen to her.

And she’s more than aware of how I run things and she’s stayed with me for extended periods. And more than half of her harsh punishments have been laid down by me. Her mother isn’t the disciplinarian at all and her bf gives no fucks. When something happens she needs punishing for her mom makes her call me and explain what happened.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Hey, look. Good parenting being recognized by children.

It happens. Don't expect your teenager to talk about it or acknowledge it.
 
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Tarrant

Tarrant

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lurkingdirk said:
Hey, look. Good parenting being recognized by children.

It happens. Don't expect your teenager to talk about it or acknowledge it.
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Lol. Yeah. My oldest boy messaged me the other day to tell me how great of a dad I was and how he knew not many other kids were as lucky as he was.

Shit made me cry like a baby.

I have some really great kids, I’m pretty blessed.
 
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lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Tarrant said:
Lol. Yeah. My oldest boy messaged me the other day to tell me how great of a dad I was and how he knew not many other kids were as lucky as he was.

Shit made me cry like a baby.

I have some really great kids, I’m pretty blessed.
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I live with my million kids every day, and when they acknowledge that I'm trying, I tear up. Pretty much every time.

Kids. I have many thoughts.

Little fuckers manipulate your every thought and emotion.

Little fucker claim a monopoly on your time.

Little fuckers need you. All the time.

The best part of every day for me is when my kids kiss me and tell me they love me. It's something we as a family try to do every day for each other. Even in shitty times. We love each other, and we support each other.

Tonight one of my kids told me they didn't like dinner, and they know they made it clear they didn't, but they really appreciated the fact that they knew that every day they had dinner to come home to. She told me she knows that she is provided for, and she realizes how fortunate she is.

Today was a good day.
 
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lurkingdirk

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Okay, another good moment for us. I just got results from a test today. As I've said in this thread earlier, our youngest is ADHD. I know it's over diagnosed, but this is not one of those cases. His medication has changed his life. The trouble is, his medication is an appetite suppressant, and he has been on the less than 0 percentile for his size. So we have had to evaluate if we continue to keep him on the medication, or try to deal with life without the medication.

We kept him on the medication. We had good reason to do so. But we were worried we were destroying his chance to develop. We've been seeing an endocrinologists regularly to make sure things are good. In the last six months he has gone from below the 0zth percentile in height and weight into the 10th percentile for both. He's developing, and he's still medicated. Without his medication he has a very hard time functioning. This is verification that we can keep him functioning and growing. It is a huge relief.

Parents dealing with ADHD kids - don't listen to the common "knowledge" that tells you your kid doesn't need the meds. Do what is right for your kids!
 
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Prodigal

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Yeah, we had the same issues with ADD and our son - and the Vyvanse was a godsend. But he wouldn’t eat much of anything until late in the evening when it wore off.

We did end up taking him off of it (he also wanted to stop taking it) in middle school and had a rough school year but he did develop some ways to cope with it and had a teacher who was very understanding. He’s done well in school, not the student his sister was but top 10% of his class. I think he would have scored better with medication but... who knows? Parenting is tough.

Daughter turned 21 this month, son turned 18. Damn I feel old.
 
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Gurgeh

Gurgeh

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Quineloe said:
Horror story from our then 1.5 year old

on the way home from Vienna we stopped at one of the larger Truck stops on the BAB 3, probably Donautal West so we had a good 300km behind us at that point, including a completely pointess 45 minute delay on the border, so it was dinner time. First time we visited a restaurant together

Since the menu had pictures, she pointed out pasta and my wife had something that came with access to the salad bar.

I of course had something manly, some double meat trucker burger with extra bacon. Not important to the story, but needs to be shared nonetheless.

So after a few minutes, my wife gets up and gets her salad bar salad. She comes back with a small bowl - obviously our daughter expects this being hers, filled with pasta. When she realized it was filled with salad, she went in full rage crying mode and it was impossible to calm her down. Not even her spaghetti arriving a few minutes calmed her down. We actually had to take her back the car and gave her a muffin to calm her down.

From this day I've noticed that restaurant waiters take great care to serve small children first. Whatever the children get, that arrives first. So avoid any entrees your child may not like. There'll be hell to pay.
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We went with our 18 months daughter for a 1 month trip in Vietnam / Korea. Found out that the asian way work relatively well for small kids in restaurant : they bring all the meals at the same time and you share them. We went pretty much once a day to a restaurant, and somehow it wasn't too much a pita. Especialy since it's significantly quicker than at a western restaurant, and that you often eat sitting on the floor (in Korea) so the kid doesn't feel left out.
 
Keystone

Keystone

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a c i d.f l y said:
Question for those with children under a year old, where have you successfully taken them for dinner with your significant other? I've basically been cooking at home or gotten a sitter for "date night". I've been told pretty much anywhere you'd go otherwise, but some places are definitively better as far as seating being able to fit a carseat/carrier.
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I haven't had an issue yet anywhere we've gone with just sliding the carseat's into the booths. Have been a few places where they will provide you with stands that the carseats set on as well. Basically just about any restaurant will be prepared for this scenario.
 
Nester

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After 10 years of trying with substantial medical help (5 failed IVFs ++) wife is final pregnant. 14 weeks now so feels safe enough to share.

Gonna name this baby Ferrari, cuz that’s what it cost :)

Oh god what have I done!
 
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Crone

Crone

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a c i d.f l y said:
Question for those with children under a year old, where have you successfully taken them for dinner with your significant other? I've basically been cooking at home or gotten a sitter for "date night". I've been told pretty much anywhere you'd go otherwise, but some places are definitively better as far as seating being able to fit a carseat/carrier.
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Late, but Red Robin has always been great for kids. Most chains these days are ok and have a decent kids menu.

A little trick that took a while to my wife and I to realize is you don't have to order off the kids menu. Order the beef sliders app and share some fries from the wife and you and bam. Just saved $10 or more on kids meals. Of course this is more relevant depending on the number of kids you have.
 
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Arative

Arative

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Nester said:
After 10 years of trying with substantial medical help (5 failed IVFs ++) wife is final pregnant. 14 weeks now so feels safe enough to share.

Gonna name this baby Ferrari, cuz that’s what it cost :)

Oh god what have I done!
Click to expand...

Good luck and congratulations!
 
Noodleface

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Kid just told my wife he didn't want her to read to him because he hates her. His tombstone will read 2015-2018
 
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iannis

iannis

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I have to imagine the first time your kid says he hates you is a proud moment.

well good. He's not a pussy.

I'm sure the novelty wears off right around the second time.
 
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Noodleface

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He's been talking up some shit saying his younger brother hates Christmas (he's 1), so its a matter of time. He doesn't know how extreme hate is obviously. I yelled at him loud enough that he knew he was in shit but obviously realizing he's a 3 year old, just wanted the point to get across. It's really shitty timing but chalking it up to shit he's learning at school. Like how he now points guns at people and shoots them. And raises his fists.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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Yeah, that shit sucks. It continues to suck until they get to an age where you can actually have reasonable conversations about language. That seems to be about 13 or so. That's when my kids really started being aware of the words they were using and what impact they might have on others. Now, that doesn't mean we let them say whatever they wanted before that, but gaining enough self awareness that language really starts to matter is imperative for this message to really stick. We can teach them to not be dicks with what they say all we want. They might comply, but they won't own it until they're more aware.

It's a long term thing. Keep at it.
 
iannis

iannis

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It's normal. He's a boy. I forget the name of it. Detachment or something. He is at the age where he is realizing on his own that he and his mother are not the same person. That's a big idea for a three year old, and one necessary step to forming a distinct personality.

the phase supposedly ends fairly quickly. Then happens again at puberty.

Little dude is asserting a sense of self and right now the only tool he has to do that is the word hate.
 
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