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moonarchia

moonarchia

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So, after xmas and seeing my nephew for the first time in 2 years, I am somewhat concerned for him. He's 4.5 and still cannot speak. Is this normal or not? They are going to keep him in pre-k for 1 more year (July birthday, so they have that option), but unless they can get that addressed, I am thinking the school system is going to be tossing him in remedial almost immediately.
 
Noodleface

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At 4.5, no that is not normal. They want most kids saying beginner words and sounds at 18 months. If they aren't at 18 months they suggest early.intervention. If early intervention doesn't work you're looking into something bigger. Perhaps autism? Not an expert on that stuff but definitely not normal.

No speaking at all?
 
iannis

iannis

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It's not normal. It also doesn't mean he's retarded. Or autistic. Or whatever the current concern might be. It does increase those odds, unfortunately.

In my extended family there have been some cases in the 3 generations that I know of where the boys didn't start to speak until they were 3-6 years old. And they grow up not retarded.

It's not immediate doom, but it's not normal either. He is gonna need to see a few specialists. It could be a lot of things. It could be his hearing.

Public schools will pounce on the boy.
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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I didn't get a whole lot of chances to observe him, but he might just have a speech impediment of some sort, but little fucker was bouncing off the walls and screaming the whole time he was there. He knows some words, but cannot say much coherently. My sister and her husband are not doing anything about it, even after hearing from lots of folks that he needs help. I didn't say anything at the time, but it bothered me and my parents. Trying to figure out a way to broach the subject with her.
 
iannis

iannis

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That's not as bad as it might be.

One really common behavior to look out for is headbanging. If he's smacking his head against the floor or wall while he's screaming... that's like cutting for boys. And she needs to take him to a professional because he probably is autistic if he displays that kind of behavior.

Otherwise your sister might be raising a wolf.

She probably knows it's not good, and doesn't wanna face it. Might be some financial issues involved? You and your folks should probably have a pow-wow on how to approach it.

This is possibly the ugly side of family, but it's what family is for.
 
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Gurgeh

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moonarchia said:
I didn't get a whole lot of chances to observe him, but he might just have a speech impediment of some sort, but little fucker was bouncing off the walls and screaming the whole time he was there. He knows some words, but cannot say much coherently. My sister and her husband are not doing anything about it, even after hearing from lots of folks that he needs help. I didn't say anything at the time, but it bothered me and my parents. Trying to figure out a way to broach the subject with her.
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At 4.5 it's usually harder to have kids shut up than speak, the average kid can speak relatively coherently. That being said, one of my colleague's kid couldn't walk at 3.5 and end up top 2-5% of the students of his age, but not being able to hold a simple conversation with a 4.5 year old should be concerning, and if the mother is ignoring the problem it's even more concerning.
 
a c i d.f l y

a c i d.f l y

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Sounds like pure bad parenting. Kids are chaotic, aggressive, even more so when they aren't able to communicate their needs (which are simple as fuck, and likely to idiot deaf parents). A 6 year old that is otherwise healthy that isn't able to verbalize is a complete fault on behalf of the parents. Any normal kid that is read to, has exposure to conversational speech, picks that shit up super quick. They'd have to be super isolated and avoided to be 6 years old and not know how to verbalize their issues. My 2 year old niece is easily able to tell me when I'm hugging her that I'm squeezing her too hard.

Development issues aside, sounds like some bullshit.
 
alavaz

alavaz

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That's concerning for sure, but if he's otherwise normal it might turn out fine. Hopefully they had his hearing checked along with other tests.
 
Noodleface

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a c i d.f l y said:
Sounds like pure bad parenting. Kids are chaotic, aggressive, even more so when they aren't able to communicate their needs (which are simple as fuck, and likely to idiot deaf parents). A 6 year old that is otherwise healthy that isn't able to verbalize is a complete fault on behalf of the parents. Any normal kid that is read to, has exposure to conversational speech, picks that shit up super quick. They'd have to be super isolated and avoided to be 6 years old and not know how to verbalize their issues. My 2 year old niece is easily able to tell me when I'm hugging her that I'm squeezing her too hard.

Development issues aside, sounds like some bullshit.
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This is your first rodeo my dude. Some kids don't talk and there's a whole lot more reasons than bad parents
 
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Prodigal

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My son was in rare form yesterday and then again this morning being a smart ass... and it occurred to me:

"You know what, son?"

"What Dad?"

"I just realized something - you're not a minor anymore."

The look on his face...
 
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a c i d.f l y

a c i d.f l y

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Noodleface said:
This is your first rodeo my dude. Some kids don't talk and there's a whole lot more reasons than bad parents
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Not my first experience with kids, just the first of my own. I'm the oldest of 7, my little sister just turned 16.

My cousin is on the scale. She doesn't talk, permanent awkward status. She's 13 and still fairly mute. Side note, her parents went through about $100k in IVF, implantation, virtually every method possible to increase chances of having kids. After 20 years of trying everything, just stopped and bam, three kids in a row. The first two are virtual savants, she's the 3rd birthed a couple years after the first two to 42+ year old parents. Very specific scenario that has only increased lately with folks having children much later in life, which is one of two direct links (the other being genetic).

I'd need more info to make an honest statement about the validity of a kid being mute, but most of the quiet/mute kids I've encountered were basically neglected vs having an actual disorder. Spent a lot of time with special needs kids back when I was in high school, and they weren't what most would think of when you say the phrase "special needs". Lot of regular to smart kids who just got neglected at home, never read to, never talked to, or were otherwise isolated...so they were usually 2-4+ years behind. "A six year old should know their ABC's," yeah, if they were actually exposed to it before being introduced to the public school system. It's really sad seeing a smart kid get really frustrated and angry that they can't communicate or articulate their needs when their mind is completely capable, just lacking the exposure, experience, and education to do so.
 
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SeanDoe1z1

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Noodleface said:
Yeah and I get it. But an irrational moody woman does not
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Lol our swear jar has been morally bankrupt for 2018. Rough year overall for family dynamics. My wife dials the bat phone and I leave mid meeting and she immediately yells "HE TOLD ME TO FUCK OFF!!!"



loooooooooooooool. Kid has no idea what hes saying. We'll work on language, laugh and get over it.
 
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Noodleface

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Son got his first birthday invite from school so we asked him what he wanted to do and of course he said yes. So we were packed in with a ton of people and kids weve never met. It's so fun watching your kid just instantly be best friends with every kid in the room.

My problem was the amount of MILFs in that place was out of control. Basically walking around with a third leg all day
 
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moonarchia

moonarchia

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Noodleface said:
Son got his first birthday invite from school so we asked him what he wanted to do and of course he said yes. So we were packed in with a ton of people and kids weve never met. It's so fun watching your kid just instantly be best friends with every kid in the room.

My problem was the amount of MILFs in that place was out of control. Basically walking around with a third leg all day
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Wasn't your wife Mormon? Just have her pick out a few "sister-wives" and get them prepped for you.
 
Ambiturner

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a c i d.f l y said:
Sounds like pure bad parenting. Kids are chaotic, aggressive, even more so when they aren't able to communicate their needs (which are simple as fuck, and likely to idiot deaf parents). A 6 year old that is otherwise healthy that isn't able to verbalize is a complete fault on behalf of the parents. Any normal kid that is read to, has exposure to conversational speech, picks that shit up super quick. They'd have to be super isolated and avoided to be 6 years old and not know how to verbalize their issues. My 2 year old niece is easily able to tell me when I'm hugging her that I'm squeezing her too hard.

Development issues aside, sounds like some bullshit.
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No, sounds like a developmental issue. There's a difference between being shy and not able to speak
 
Larnix

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I dated a girl for about a year and a half in my early 20s who was a single mom to 2 boys. When I first stared hanging out her 3 year old didn't talk only mumbled and pointed at shit and his mom would just give him whatever he pointed at. When he would do it i just replied I didn't understand what he was saying. In about a month the kid started talking just fine. He would revert back to mumbling anytime he was with just his mom or at his grandmother's house. Raising someone else's kid was to much for me and i didn't even consider kids for 10 more years.
 
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