Parent Thread

lurkingdirk said:

Yeah, I know all this. It's still a little surprising considering how tight we all are. I wish I had a solution for them, in the mean time we'll just muddle through.

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If your sons are outdoorsy and they have friends in town also having corona vacation tell them to local parks or go out camping and shit. If you have enough yard space set them up with a shed or a mother in law so they have have a real place of their own away from you and mom.

lurkingdirk said:

Yeah, I know all this. It's still a little surprising considering how tight we all are. I wish I had a solution for them, in the mean time we'll just muddle through.

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Make them pay rent, work around the house and garden. They’ll love that. It builds character.

Izo said:

Make them pay rent, work around the house and garden. They’ll love that. It builds character.

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Should I beat them, too?

They don't pay rent. Until college is done. Then it's 2,650 a month.

I'm looking into getting minecraft for my 6 year old. I'm confused as shit about the different editions. It was pretty simple to set up a java server at home but if I get the windows 10 version of minecraft, you can't connect to a java server? and he if wants to play with friends, the only way to do that is on realms, which is $8 a month for a dedicated server, if they have a console, windows 10 or mobile? I can't run a bedrock version at my home and have friends that have the switch or an xbox connect and play from their house?

Kiroy said:

we're only at 4 months but this is guiding us through the sleep thing

tldr is that assuming a healthy, fed, clean diaper child - all other issues you're having with your kid is sleep related (vs just random behavior/colic ect). He wants your kids on a sleep schedule asap - we now have our 4 month old sleeping through the night 12 hours (got lucky with this) and taking a 2-3 hour morning nap and a 2-3 hour afternoon nap. 630-7pm go to sleep time is important and not taking naps will result in a sleep deficit that will result in evening sleep getting all fucked up.

extra tldr not getting enough sleep results in not being able to sleep, getting more sleep results in kid wanting to sleep more

sleep begets sleep, apparently it's near impossible for a child to get too much sleep

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So it's basically a "the rich get richer" type of thing.

Our almost 6year old today claimed my mother had taken her to the hairdresser last weekend she spent there. My wife was cold rage furious. She even started seeing the result. I had my doubts, so I called my mother who completely denied the whole thing. So pressing my daughter again, she admitted the lie.

What a way to spend Feierabend.

a c i d.f l y said:

You don't remember being 20? Being stuck at home would fucking suck major donkey balls at that age.

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I remember. I was raiding Velious and Luclin all day long. Kids today don't have that kind of game available to them. It sucks. This is the true crime here.

Arative said:

I'm looking into getting minecraft for my 6 year old. I'm confused as shit about the different editions. It was pretty simple to set up a java server at home but if I get the windows 10 version of minecraft, you can't connect to a java server? and he if wants to play with friends, the only way to do that is on realms, which is $8 a month for a dedicated server, if they have a console, windows 10 or mobile? I can't run a bedrock version at my home and have friends that have the switch or an xbox connect and play from their house?

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Yes, that's all correct. The windows 10/Bedrock and Java editions are totally incompatible. You can roll your own Java server, but only for Java clients. I've got one for my kids (9/6) and their cousins on an old box that I run Ubuntu on. Setup is pretty straightforward if you have basic Linux literacy. The only Bedrock multiplay is either LAN or on the paid Realms.

All the "serious" Minecraft people play Java. The coding in Bedrock is weird and certain game mechanics are unreliable and/or non-deterministic. All the good mods are on java. Your six year old probably won't care, but if you ever get into the game and play with him you might notice the difference. The only benefit to Bedrock is RTX compatibility and cross-play with console/mobile.

Captain Suave said:

Yes, that's all correct. The windows 10/Bedrock and Java editions are totally incompatible. You can roll your own Java server, but only for Java clients. The only Bedrock multiplay is either LAN or on the paid Realms.

All the "serious" Minecraft people play Java. The coding in Bedrock is weird and certain game mechanics are unreliable and/or non-deterministic. All the good mods are on java. Your six year old probably won't care, but if you ever get into the game and play with him you might notice the difference. The only benefit to Bedrock is RTX compatibility and cross-play with console/mobile.

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So if I do a bedrock server, everyone has to be on my local network? I was thinking bedrock because my kid has an android tablet and spends the night at grandparents house and was hoping to let him play over there if he wanted too.

I don't mind doing a realm server just for him and his friends either though.

Arative said:

So if I do a bedrock server, everyone has to be on my local network? I was thinking bedrock because my kid has an android tablet and spends the night at grandparents house and was hoping to let him play over there if he wanted too.

I don't mind doing a realm server just for him and his friends either though.

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Sorry, I wasn't quite clear. Both java and bedrock PC clients can open their single player worlds to the LAN for other people to join. That's an ephemeral solution, since the world only exists when the host is playing - It's not quite a server in the same sense as a realm or dedicated machine. If your kid is just going to play from a tablet then he can keep his world local on that device you don't need a realm account. If you want him to switch between PC and tablet or have the option for multiplayer on the tablet, you'll want Bedrock and a realm server.

Who rewards their kids for grades?

My boys get $5 per week for doing chores. Letting the dog in/out, taking trash cans to curb/back, etc.

My oldest is 5th grade and doesn't really care about his grades, As and Bs without trying. His teacher tells me if he actually turned in each assignment he would easily have highest grade in class

My 2nd grader is very dyslexic and behind despite after school tutoring, in school special attention, repeating 1st grade, etc.

I want a reward system for results and effort, not sure how to structure it so its not obviously tilted to favor the younger child

fris said:

My oldest is 5th grade and doesn't really care about his grades, As and Bs without trying. His teacher tells me if he actually turned in each assignment he would easily have highest grade in class

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Well he's gonna have straight Fs for his first mid-term in 6th grade since middle school is when homework abruptly becomes most of your grade, so I'd prioritize getting him to actually do all his assignments.

Not judging anyone else's call, but I've never considered paying my kids for grades. I know what they're capable of and simply expect them to do it. That's their job at this stage in life. This is doubly true since they're relatively high achievers. To the extent that my oldest (3rd grade) underperforms it's due to haste and sloth. If they were really honestly trying their best and not getting results maybe I'd consider external motivation, but if high performance is the result of simply actually turning your shit in, that's really a minimum bar.

Rewarding effort is the way to go. I can totally tell when my kids have half-assed something. I know what each is capable of, having been so invested with their education, so when it comes short of that, they clearly haven't tried their best. My kids get rewarded for effort. Nothing like money for grades, but for example my youngest had a project he had three weeks to work on. It included building a model, writing an essay, and being creative in a few different ways. He had to have a bibliography. He's in seventh grade. They start teaching expository writing for academic topics in grade 7. He absolutely knocked it out of the park. It was some of the best work he ever did, and I saw him, day after day, working on it without being told, and asking for help when he needed it. He was into it, and he worked his ass off. The night after he turned it in, I got him takeout for dinner, just the two of us, from his favourite restaurant. We spent almost three hours in the basement, eating, laughing, playing darts, video games, just having fun, and he heard me loud and clear that I was proud of him. He hadn't gotten a grade yet.

It isn't like I only spend time with my kids when they do something well. We're together all the time, lots of time spent. But a one on one evening with special food and games is a pretty affirming thing for kids. It seems to be working for us.

Got a call from my son's school Saturday. Kid in his class was in school on Thursday and tested positive for covid on Friday. So we were on a 14 day virtual school. He was at his grandparents Friday night so we pick him up Saturday. He has slight congestion, not even blowing his nose. Call the doc Monday, she recommended getting him covid tested. Comes back positive today.

So now he'll get out of lock down in 10 days and the rest of us have 14 days after that. Wife and I both have slightly scratchy throats, so we're getting tested tomorrow, at least if it is positive, we don't have to be locked down for 24 days.

I'm convinced that covid is running rampant among young kids and no one really knows or is getting their kids tested. I mean if we didn't know he'd been exposed, we never would have gotten him tested and we'd be sending him to school.

My kid is 15 now. Acts like a tough guy. Never done anything like this with me. Should I be worried? It was around 10pm last night.