Recommend a dating site

Hoss_sl said:

If so, they should be handing out blowjobs like a dentist hands out lollipops.

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And that happens too.

Khane, question specifically for you as I know we are looking for a similar profile of potential mates. To start, this is my first foray into online dating, so excuse my ignorance on some things that should be obvious. I've made a profile on Match and filled in the basics and for the purposes of my questions, take for given that looks and income aren't an issue (I'm sure there's always the potential to be out of someone's range in one or the other, but just to keep the variables constant).

Questions:

How do you go about crafting your "In my own words" message? The way I have thrown it together currently, I just explicitly state that I'm looking for someone of exceptional intelligence/ambition etc.

Once the profile is done, how much of it is a numbers game, and also how much of success is governed by the content of the messages you send out, and what type of content works best?

Lastly, how often do worthwhile women actually reach out to you directly? And by worthwhile I just mean anyone who isn't a complete fail across the board.

Thanks for any insight, and feel free to add any other tips as I start this trek.

Prova_sl said:

Khane, question specifically for you as I know we are looking for a similar profile of potential mates. To start, this is my first foray into online dating, so excuse my ignorance on some things that should be obvious. I've made a profile on Match and filled in the basics and for the purposes of my questions, take for given that looks and income aren't an issue (I'm sure there's always the potential to be out of someone's range in one or the other, but just to keep the variables constant).

Questions:

How do you go about crafting your "In my own words" message? The way I have thrown it together currently, I just explicitly state that I'm looking for someone of exceptional intelligence/ambition etc.

Once the profile is done, how much of it is a numbers game, and also how much of success is governed by the content of the messages you send out, and what type of content works best?

Lastly, how often do worthwhile women actually reach out to you directly? And by worthwhile I just mean anyone who isn't a complete fail across the board.

Thanks for any insight, and feel free to add any other tips as I start this trek.

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I wish I had an answer for you but I don't. It really doesn't seem to matter much other than having good pictures (make sure you look fun and are smiling instead of trying to be a hardass/cool guy) and stating what you do and like to do.

Worthwhile women very rarely reach out to me because they are inundated with messages and most likely barely have enough time to read through them let alone search on their own. Which is fine with me because I'm not a sidelines kinda guy anyway. I'm very assertive and I like to be the one reaching out.

As for how much of it is a numbers game is entirely up to you. You'll get out of it what you put in. If you want to use it for casual relationships/sex you'll be able to. If you want to use it to try to meet someone who aligns with you for the long term you'll be able to.

Prova_sl said:

Khane, question specifically for you as I know we are looking for a similar profile of potential mates. To start, this is my first foray into online dating, so excuse my ignorance on some things that should be obvious. I've made a profile on Match and filled in the basics and for the purposes of my questions, take for given that looks and income aren't an issue (I'm sure there's always the potential to be out of someone's range in one or the other, but just to keep the variables constant).

Questions:

How do you go about crafting your "In my own words" message? The way I have thrown it together currently, I just explicitly state that I'm looking for someone of exceptional intelligence/ambition etc.

Once the profile is done, how much of it is a numbers game, and also how much of success is governed by the content of the messages you send out, and what type of content works best?

Lastly, how often do worthwhile women actually reach out to you directly? And by worthwhile I just mean anyone who isn't a complete fail across the board.

Thanks for any insight, and feel free to add any other tips as I start this trek.

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Prova, I know this isn't answering any of your questions but if you haven't seen it, I suggest you peruse this blog:OkTrendsIt has a bunch of data on what techniques get the best results. One thing that stands out to me is that taking GOOD photographs (not cellphone selfies) has a measurable impact on your response rate. My instinct (along with recollection when I messed around with online dating a decade ago) was that initial message probably has a low overall weight... as long as its not "want som fuk". My experience is limited to a when I was 18-21 years old so income wasn't really a big deal then, just having some photos that A) made me look good and B) showed me having fun was probably the biggest factor. I also worked at Hollywood Video so it was easy to tell girls to just come scope me out and say hi if they wanted to. I think trying to put together some recent photos taken by someone else on a good camera showing you in a social environment looking good is an important first step. Bonus points if your friends in a frame aren't 400lb neckbeards; showing yourself getting along with women friends implies that you aren't a total creep.

Don't listen to Khane about the pictures, girls love the mirror selfies and extra points for being shirtless.

But really, it's accurate. Just have good photos of you doing stuff you enjoy or some group photos seemed to work best for me. I had multiple women message me while I was on OKC, most of them I had no interest in but the other I ended up dating for about six months, so it does happen.

Don't tell me some of you fuckers wouldn't. Stay the hell away from the Rumpies and Timber.

I've been innundated with likes, interesteds and emails since I set the account up. Average seems to be between a 4-6 in looks, but I guess it's the right direction. Good tip on the group photo, I will have to take on during my friends bachelor party next week.

Thanks guys.

I started messing around with OKC about a month ago. My likes shot up a bit for the first few weeks, but now I've noticed it's staying the same/going down despite still getting likes. I'm assuming girls are unliking me? Haven't changed my profile at all so not sure what the deal is. In any case, I've messaged a few I thought were a pretty good match and have yet to get a response. I feel like anything above a 7 will never respond to you unless you're Brad Pitt himself.

eVasiege_sl said:

I started messing around with OKC about a month ago. My likes shot up a bit for the first few weeks, but now I've noticed it's staying the same/going down despite still getting likes. I'm assuming girls are unliking me? Haven't changed my profile at all so not sure what the deal is. In any case, I've messaged a few I thought were a pretty good match and have yet to get a response. I feel like anything above a 7 will never respond to you unless you're Brad Pitt himself.

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They are getting tons of messages every day, if you aren't more attractive than the other guys messaging them you need to separate yourself from the pack with a good message. Either because you have a lot in common with them or make them laugh. I mean, that's just how it works both offline and online.

Also, when you first create a profile OKC puts your profile at the top of search lists because you're new. After a while you fade into the ether of searches unless you pay.

The "unliking" phenomena on Okcupid usually is a result of them "liking" you based on your pics and basic profile, and then reading your question responses and being turned off by your answers. I've done it myself-- liking some super hot chick that had a cool profile description, and then reading over her questions and seeing that she believes creationism should be taught in schools and puts more belief in faith over science. Unlike.

Most of the women I've dated online have told me that they won't initiate contact no matter how much they like a profile, as they still feel the man should do the initiation. This includes successful professional types. "Equality" only applies to work, family, and law it seems-- most women are still ruled by their instincts and a traditional view of relationships (or at least the traditions that benefit them).

Prova_sl said:

Khane, question specifically for you as I know we are looking for a similar profile of potential mates. To start, this is my first foray into online dating, so excuse my ignorance on some things that should be obvious. I've made a profile on Match and filled in the basics and for the purposes of my questions, take for given that looks and income aren't an issue (I'm sure there's always the potential to be out of someone's range in one or the other, but just to keep the variables constant).

Questions:

How do you go about crafting your "In my own words" message? The way I have thrown it together currently, I just explicitly state that I'm looking for someone of exceptional intelligence/ambition etc.

Once the profile is done, how much of it is a numbers game, and also how much of success is governed by the content of the messages you send out, and what type of content works best?

Lastly, how often do worthwhile women actually reach out to you directly? And by worthwhile I just mean anyone who isn't a complete fail across the board.

Thanks for any insight, and feel free to add any other tips as I start this trek.

Click to expand...

I'm not Khane but:

I had a custom made profile but it wasshort. Profiles are like a resume. Are you seriously going to read a 5 page resume or would you prefer a 1 page resume that hits all the highlights quickly? The answer is the latter. So since it is a resume for dating I crafted it as such. 1-2 sentences as the opener (ie the objective) then a bullet pointed list of attributes. Make sure your profile is entertaining to read and fairly funny. No one wants to read a dry "Hello my name is Tenks. I'm a 30 year old male. My favorite things to do are cook and listen to music. I'm a software developer." Give it a bit of spice.

Pictures. You probably need 4-5. A few by yourself but clearly out doing something and clearly taken by someone else. A few with your friends. Again out doing something. If you have a top-down picture of you sitting in your computer chair taken by a webcam no one wants that.

With that said after you have made a good profile it turns into numbers. Your next goal is to drive traffic to your profile. That means any girl you are even only mildly interested in you send a message. Again keep the opening message short. 2-5 sentences. Or used a caned line (I did not have luck with canned lines.)

I got a lot of traffic from girls contacting me. I did this online dating thing a long time and it wasn't always that easy. I started out with boring pictures and a long profile. Then I deleted all those accounts, redid my pictures and re-wrote my profile and the response rate went through the roof. In general I had the best luck securing dates with girls who messaged me first. I had two main relationships from online dating and both were girls who contacted me. Also you need to be aware if a site tells the girls who viewed their profile. This was actually my thing for a while with girls I was actually interested in I'd simply go to their profile and leavewithout sending a message. I'd then wait it out a few days. If she didn't send me a message I'd then send her one. I actually had decent success of these high-value girls seeing a high-value male going to their profile then leaving. It seemed to pique their interest in why I didn't contact them because they were getting 30+ messages a day. I didn't do this for every girl. Only ones I actually was more interested in others into meeting because they were hot/interesting because it took too much planning and remembering to do it.

So it's Tinder but only with friends of friends on Facebook?

Sounds like a decent concept

I would try it but I am one of those people who prunes my Facebook friend list about once a year to get rid of the tards.