Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Recommend a dating site
- Thread starter W4RH34D_sl
- Start date
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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I do if we don't have a connection and I know there won't be a second date. But asking a woman to pay half on a first date is essentially saying "Sorry, I'm just not into you".
Typically if the she doesn't offer to pay on the second date after I payed for the first I get really turned off and won't ask them out again.
Eomer
Trakanon Raider
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Meh, you at least have control over being picky. You don't and can't have a crystal ball to see if your first love at 21 is going to be the same person in 10 years.
But you're also much better off financial by the time you're 30+ than you were in your early 20's. If you're not, you're doing something wrong. And if money is still a big concern, then consider other ideas for a first date like a quick coffee or even just a walk in the park to establish if something more elaborate and costly is worthwhile.Khane_sl said:
If you asked her out, that's a dick move IMO. However asked the other out should pay for the first date, regardless of how it turns out.Famm_sl said:
I think that's pretty sad, writing someone's entire personality off because you're a cheapskate. Maybe she was nervous and forgot to offer or something? Who knows? I can see if it becomes an established pattern after dating for awhile, but a sample size of 2 and that overrides every other positive aspect of their personality? Really?Khane_sl said:
Khane
Got something right about marriage
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Well not always cocktail bars, but the tab is usually $50 or more for a good first date. I'm not taking a girl out to Chili's because, well, I don't want to go to Chili's. At least not until the "magic" has worn off. It's like farting. You never fart around a girl when you first start dating her, but 2-3 months down the road? Crop dust territory.
Yes really, because of past experience. It has nothing to do with me being a cheapskate. I am very far from being a cheapskate and make a very good living. I want a strong, empowered, self reliant woman. The only two women I ever had a serious relationship with both expected me to pay for them to be comfortable while they fucked around in their worthless "dream jobs" (part time photographer who did nothing else, and a special ed teacher working for a private school with no benefits who did nothing but complain about how much she hated the kids). I abhor traditional gender roles and it's the reason I am not married to one of the aforementioned two women. A woman should have enough self respect to offer to pay after I treated her the first time. I'm all for equality and that means equality in everything. This whole attitude of "all of the benefit with none of the responsibility" attitude some women (and men) seem to have regarding equality really rustles my jim jams.
I won't deny it's a little over the top, but it's just a really sore subject for me. All I'm asking for is for them to offer, if they don't even reach for the check or make a passing effort to try to pay all I see is an entitled child sitting in front of me.
I agree with the sentiment, but I dunno, I think second date is a bit too soon to expect them to start paying unless she was the one asking you out. If you make a comfortable living and the money spent on the date doesn't make a dent on your wallet, then however much the date costs shouldn't even be an issue. I think it has a lot to do with who asks who out on the date. If you are the one who asked her out, and you take her to an upscale place and you're the one who decided on how much the date would cost, it seems a bit unfair to ask her to pay for the date when it was you who chose where to go.
Khane
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Do people set up second dates like that? 9 times out of 10 it's as simple as one or the other of us saying "I had a nice time we should do it again" at the end of the first date and then we text some suggestions back and forth and decide on a venue. Why does it matter who asked who on a second date?
I never said I expected her to pay, in fact I rarely ever actually let them pay for the second date (I really only let them pick up the check on date 2 if there is no interest in a date 3). I said I expect her to offer, and if she just quietly sits there without making any effort to offer all I can imagine is how much of a spoiled brat she is. Literally. Maybe I'm being overly critical but I really don't care, it's a pet peeve and I can't stand it when they don't offer.
Hoss
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For as long as I can remember, I've been attracted to girls around 40. So I got over the kids thing pretty quick. Good thing about a 40 year old is that they probably have kids that are nearly grown. Not to say I exclusively dated 40 year olds, not by a long shot, but a couple I dated had daughters who were nearly old enough to fuck, and I found that interesting.
And no, before anyone asks, I never crossed that one off my list.
When I dated younger chicks with kids, I noticed they almost always seemed to come from an abusive relationship, and that shit did turn me off.
I used to think it was cute when a girl offered to pay. I got annoyed at a couple when they became insistent, but I started working it to be sure we went to cheap places when it was her turn.
And no, before anyone asks, I never crossed that one off my list.
When I dated younger chicks with kids, I noticed they almost always seemed to come from an abusive relationship, and that shit did turn me off.
I used to think it was cute when a girl offered to pay. I got annoyed at a couple when they became insistent, but I started working it to be sure we went to cheap places when it was her turn.
I hear you. In regards to second dates, I'm usually the one who suggests a second date (girls like guys to be assertive and all). It would just depend on my mood, but the second date could be something cheap, like a movie, or a nice dinner. So if i go the fancy dinner route, that would naturally cost more than just a movie or redbox night, so I always assume I'm paying if I'm the one picking the venue/activity. I mean I generally agree with your sentiment, but I think I have a bit more patience. It would only annoy me if she kept assuming I was paying after the first few preliminary dates.
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Let her pay on the third date. Anything before that will come off as bad and if she thinks you should pay for the third date then she obviously only wants free meals or is a gold digger/cheap ass.
First date shouldn't be anything expensive anyways. Go to a bar. Beer is $5-$6 at most and if you don't know if you're into her enough for a second date after 2 beers then God help you. Substitute for coffee if you don't drink / early morning.
First date shouldn't be anything expensive anyways. Go to a bar. Beer is $5-$6 at most and if you don't know if you're into her enough for a second date after 2 beers then God help you. Substitute for coffee if you don't drink / early morning.
I've never understood why someone would want a woman who doesn't pay for shit. It's a huge turn on for a woman to chip in.
The first date or two the woman usually doesn't offer but if you don't get at least a "Let me pay the tip" by date 3, run for the hills.
As for kids I love them but after an hour or two you can have them back. The way I look at it is if I have lasted this long without any kids and never been married, there is no reason why I can't find the same in a woman.
As for kids I love them but after an hour or two you can have them back. The way I look at it is if I have lasted this long without any kids and never been married, there is no reason why I can't find the same in a woman.
Khane
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I've been on way too many first and second dates in the last year and a half. Over that course I've learned that if she doesn't offer on the second date she isn't going to offer on the third either and fuck that. It fuels my fire so much that I'll actually say "So you've got this one since I got the first two right?". One of them had the audacity to say "Really? You want me to pay for this?", with an incredulous look on her face as if I just asked her to blow me under the table.
Luckily, most women offer even on the first date so I almost never have to worry about this. I think that has to do with the fact that I do not date women who do not have solid careers.
As for keeping price down on dates, this almost never works for me. I always take them to a nice place on the first date because I want to go to those places as well. It's not even about impressions, it's about getting a proper drink and good food (I never go to a date planning on eating and never set dinner dates but at least 75% of the time we end up splitting an appetizer or two).
Anyway, I wanna know what's goin on with Celebrindal's new squeeze. I'm guessing it went well when she came over to take care of his sore throat for him since we haven't heard anything in a while.
Luckily, most women offer even on the first date so I almost never have to worry about this. I think that has to do with the fact that I do not date women who do not have solid careers.
As for keeping price down on dates, this almost never works for me. I always take them to a nice place on the first date because I want to go to those places as well. It's not even about impressions, it's about getting a proper drink and good food (I never go to a date planning on eating and never set dinner dates but at least 75% of the time we end up splitting an appetizer or two).
Anyway, I wanna know what's goin on with Celebrindal's new squeeze. I'm guessing it went well when she came over to take care of his sore throat for him since we haven't heard anything in a while.
Khane
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Never on the first date, sometimes on the second date but generally on a second date if I know I want to see them again I usually just say something like "How about I pay this time and you can pick up the tab on our next date?". That usually gets a smile and an "I like that idea". But if they say "No let me pay for this one" I let them.
I usually follow the same logic. First date I pay regardless. The 2nd date is usually us going downtown and bar hopping so if she offers to buy a round here and there I let her.
Frenzied Wombat
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Not footing the entire bill, whether it be the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd date is pretty much a guaranteed way to fuck your chances for another date. The only chicks that are *serious* when they make an offer to pay are a) the average to fugly ones or b) the chick with integrity that doesn't want to see you again but is too nice to say so and feels guilty so offers to pay half. Any semi hot chick that has the ability to pick amongst potential suitors will never respond to your ass again if you let her pay half.
Women "paying" for dates is one of those textbook examples of female misinformation. Ask almost any chick whether dates should be 50/50, and they'll almost always say yes or "take turns". Put the same women in a room together and if one mentions how on her date last night she had to pony up for half, and all the girls will label the guy a loser.
What's even more amusing is that based upon my experience, even if the chick makes bank you are STILL expected to pay. I've dated lawyers and doctors that probably made 50% more than I do, and if they're hot they still expect you to pay.
Women "paying" for dates is one of those textbook examples of female misinformation. Ask almost any chick whether dates should be 50/50, and they'll almost always say yes or "take turns". Put the same women in a room together and if one mentions how on her date last night she had to pony up for half, and all the girls will label the guy a loser.
What's even more amusing is that based upon my experience, even if the chick makes bank you are STILL expected to pay. I've dated lawyers and doctors that probably made 50% more than I do, and if they're hot they still expect you to pay.
Aaron
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Now, I'm not going on personal experience here, just what I've heard from friends who have done online dating. They prefer women with kids for two reasons:
1. Women with kids, unlike women without kids, know what they want in a man. That is, someone who is stable, responsible and good with kids. And more importantly, they can recognise them better than those without kids can.
2. Women with kids are themselves usually more stable and down to earth.
From what they say, this results in women who are in most respects more attractive potential long term partners. They like to go out but don't want to be all night. They understand scheduling and responsibilities better too. And last, but not least, they've usually given up on trying to find the "perfect" man so they don't nitpick your faults as much.
On the other hand, women without kids are more likely to want to go clubbing all night, drink till they pass out and bitch about every single little thing about you that they don't like.
So basically, if you want a one night stand with an unstable sex kitten, go for the unmarried ones. If you are looking for a long term, more stable relationship, go with the ones with kids.