Shit

Bandwagon

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This is the thread that you're meant to be in when you're taking a shit. If you're here & pooping, you're required to write a shitty poem or a shitty haiku about your dookie. Dookie pictures are permitted, but strongly discouraged.
I'll do the honors...

Roses are Red,
Quiznos is bliss,
This turd is 80% lead,
@a_skeleton_03 drinks piss.

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Alasliasolonik

Toilet of the Mod Elect
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My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me to far.

She was drunk of course and feeling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.

After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea.

I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. I then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.

The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made a lot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.

She damn near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the FUCK" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.

I really do kind of miss her though.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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You really think I'm going to stop browsing porn on the shitter?
 

Bandwagon

ResetEra Staff Member
<Silver Donator>
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My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me to far.

She was drunk of course and feeling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.

After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea.

I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. I then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.

The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made a lot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.

She damn near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the FUCK" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.

I really do kind of miss her though.
62% chance this is a C&P, but it's still the 14th best post on this forum.
 

Bandwagon

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I'm clenching at my desk to try and squeeze this one into a no-wipe diamond. Will report back on progress in ~2 hours.
 
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