Shit

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Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,498
58,990
giphy.gif



This is the thread that you're meant to be in when you're taking a shit. If you're here & pooping, you're required to write a shitty poem or a shitty haiku about your dookie. Dookie pictures are permitted, but strongly discouraged.
I'll do the honors...

Roses are Red,
Quiznos is bliss,
This turd is 80% lead,
@a_skeleton_03 drinks piss.

giphy.gif
 
  • 3Worf
  • 2Like
  • 2Bullshit
Reactions: 6 users

Asshat wormie

2023 Asshat Award Winner
<Gold Donor>
16,820
30,963
What? This entire board is where I need to be when I am shitting.
 
  • 2Solidarity
Reactions: 1 users

Alasliasolonik

Toilet of the Mod Elect
<Banned>
4,908
9,890
My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me to far.

She was drunk of course and feeling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.

After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea.

I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. I then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.

The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made a lot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.

She damn near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the FUCK" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.

I really do kind of miss her though.
 
  • 5Worf
  • 2Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 7 users

Miguex

The lad himself
<Gold Donor>
2,202
1,722
My name is Kevin
That is my name
They call me Kevin
Cause that's my name
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,425
11,873
You really think I'm going to stop browsing porn on the shitter?
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,498
58,990
My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me to far.

She was drunk of course and feeling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex.

After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea.

I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. I then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep.

The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made a lot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip.

She damn near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the FUCK" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left.

I really do kind of miss her though.
62% chance this is a C&P, but it's still the 14th best post on this forum.
 
  • 2Worf
Reactions: 1 users

The_Black_Log Foler

Stock Pals Senior Vice President
<Gold Donor>
42,761
39,972
Look at these suckers. Ive literally had an entire thread of my own where i do just this.


 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user

pysek

It Didn't Happen, It Should've, and It Will.
<Gold Donor>
16,948
105,606
For a good time call...somebody else.
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
<Silver Donator>
22,498
58,990
I'm clenching at my desk to try and squeeze this one into a no-wipe diamond. Will report back on progress in ~2 hours.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 user

Mudcrush Durtfeet

Hungry Ogre
2,428
-758
Mudcrush is weird, let the whole world know it.
He brought a bucket to work in order to show it.
They all threw a fit when they saw it held shit.
Didn't know he was planning to throw it.
19udvh.jpg
 
  • 2Faggotry
  • 1Worf
  • 1Bullshit
Reactions: 4 users