I ended up getting the S9. As much as I hate Google, I still don't think I could deal with the Apple ecosystem. And I went to look at the XR and S9 and there's no comparison between the two screens.
Glass screen protectors in general sound like a pain in the ass with the newer Samsungs. I'm tempted to get a supcase with built in screen protector because I've used one before on a tablet and it worked great, but I'm not sure about it on a phone.I picked up a Note 9 last week from Verizon and I absolutely love the phone. Only issue I came across is the case and screen protector. I'm using an Otterbox defender case and the Zagg Invisi-shield curved protector. When I put the case on my phone the bottom part of the plastic case pushed up the screen protector and caused bubbles at the bottom side of my screen protector. I tried scraping the bubbles out with the soft scraper but no luck. They just keep coming back. So I'm going to try the Whitestone dome screen protector which cures the glass on the phone and I ordered a Spigen tough armor case with kickstand from Amazon.