Sports writer kills himself, leaves behind website describing how and why

Koushirou

Koushirou

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chaos_sl said:
He threw away a gift that others would kill for. He's an asshole.
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I don't really think it's fair to call him an asshole for what he did. He can't exactly gift his life to someone else, but someone's life may have been improved or even saved by the organs that could be used from him which may not have been the case down the road as he got older.

My life isn't all that important to me. I've wanted to end it since I was 10 years old, but I stopped myself because I love my parents and I didn't want to hurt them. Some years from now when they're gone, I don't really see a reason for me to stick around so I'll probably be calling it a day after that. That could change of course, but for right now that's my plan. Others might want to keep living as long as they can to see all the possibilities that are ahead, but it really just doesn't interest me. I should be able to have that view and make that choice for myself without feeling bad or guilty about it.

Everyone's views on this topic are going to be different and I don't think that anything anyone says is really going to convince anyone to change their mind on it. If anything, this guy did succeed in getting people to talk about a difficult subject, which is good. We aren't given a choice as to whether or not we want to be born and I don't feel that anyone should feel forced to keep on living if they don't want to. Choosing death also shouldn't immediately label you as being sick or unfit to make rational decisions. Of course, if someone feels it's their only option that's something else entirely.

There's no set of conditions to be met or a line to be crossed before this kind of suicide acceptable or unacceptable. It's just another choice with its own set of consequences that's going to affect everyone differently. Not sure what point if any I was trying to make with all that but meh.
 
chaos

chaos

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Koushirou_sl said:
I don't really think it's fair to call him an asshole for what he did. He can't exactly gift his life to someone else, but someone's life may have been improved or even saved by the organs that could be used from him which may not have been the case down the road as he got older.

My life isn't all that important to me. I've wanted to end it since I was 10 years old, but I stopped myself because I love my parents and I didn't want to hurt them. Some years from now when they're gone, I don't really see a reason for me to stick around so I'll probably be calling it a day after that. That could change of course, but for right now that's my plan. Others might want to keep living as long as they can to see all the possibilities that are ahead, but it really just doesn't interest me. I should be able to have that view and make that choice for myself without feeling bad or guilty about it.

Everyone's views on this topic are going to be different and I don't think that anything anyone says is really going to convince anyone to change their mind on it. If anything, this guy did succeed in getting people to talk about a difficult subject, which is good. We aren't given a choice as to whether or not we want to be born and I don't feel that anyone should feel forced to keep on living if they don't want to. Choosing death also shouldn't immediately label you as being sick or unfit to make rational decisions. Of course, if someone feels it's their only option that's something else entirely.

There's no set of conditions to be met or a line to be crossed before this kind of suicide acceptable or unacceptable. It's just another choice with its own set of consequences that's going to affect everyone differently. Not sure what point if any I was trying to make with all that but meh.
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See, I read this and I feel sorry for you. If the only thing keeping you from killing yourself is that it would hurt your parents' feelings, that is fucked up. You need help. Everything you wrote in this post just screams out for help. I don't know your situation, but it seems like you're saying that you've wanted to kill yourself since age 10 and you think that is a sound and well thought out decision that you just haven't followed through on because of your parents. That is most definitely sick. Have you talked with your parents about this? I imagine it would crush them to think that you've had this inside and never expressed it so they could get you the help you need. But fuck man, that beats the alternative.
 
BrutulTM

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Don't mistake your untreated depression for rational thought.
 
TrollfaceDeux

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Koushirou_sl said:
I don't really think it's fair to call him an asshole for what he did. He can't exactly gift his life to someone else, but someone's life may have been improved or even saved by the organs that could be used from him which may not have been the case down the road as he got older.

My life isn't all that important to me. I've wanted to end it since I was 10 years old, but I stopped myself because I love my parents and I didn't want to hurt them. Some years from now when they're gone, I don't really see a reason for me to stick around so I'll probably be calling it a day after that. That could change of course, but for right now that's my plan. Others might want to keep living as long as they can to see all the possibilities that are ahead, but it really just doesn't interest me. I should be able to have that view and make that choice for myself without feeling bad or guilty about it.

Everyone's views on this topic are going to be different and I don't think that anything anyone says is really going to convince anyone to change their mind on it. If anything, this guy did succeed in getting people to talk about a difficult subject, which is good. We aren't given a choice as to whether or not we want to be born and I don't feel that anyone should feel forced to keep on living if they don't want to. Choosing death also shouldn't immediately label you as being sick or unfit to make rational decisions. Of course, if someone feels it's their only option that's something else entirely.

There's no set of conditions to be met or a line to be crossed before this kind of suicide acceptable or unacceptable. It's just another choice with its own set of consequences that's going to affect everyone differently. Not sure what point if any I was trying to make with all that but meh.
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seek help, son. i say that as a person who went through the exact same thing since 9.
 
Uber Uberest

Uber Uberest

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Koushirou_sl said:
I don't really think it's fair to call him an asshole for what he did. He can't exactly gift his life to someone else, but someone's life may have been improved or even saved by the organs that could be used from him which may not have been the case down the road as he got older.

My life isn't all that important to me. I've wanted to end it since I was 10 years old, but I stopped myself because I love my parents and I didn't want to hurt them. Some years from now when they're gone, I don't really see a reason for me to stick around so I'll probably be calling it a day after that. That could change of course, but for right now that's my plan. Others might want to keep living as long as they can to see all the possibilities that are ahead, but it really just doesn't interest me. I should be able to have that view and make that choice for myself without feeling bad or guilty about it.

Everyone's views on this topic are going to be different and I don't think that anything anyone says is really going to convince anyone to change their mind on it. If anything, this guy did succeed in getting people to talk about a difficult subject, which is good. We aren't given a choice as to whether or not we want to be born and I don't feel that anyone should feel forced to keep on living if they don't want to. Choosing death also shouldn't immediately label you as being sick or unfit to make rational decisions. Of course, if someone feels it's their only option that's something else entirely.

There's no set of conditions to be met or a line to be crossed before this kind of suicide acceptable or unacceptable. It's just another choice with its own set of consequences that's going to affect everyone differently. Not sure what point if any I was trying to make with all that but meh.
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Your life's important to me broseph
 
Drajakur

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Koushirou_sl said:
My life isn't all that important to me. I've wanted to end it since I was 10 years old, but I stopped myself because I love my parents and I didn't want to hurt them. Some years from now when they're gone, I don't really see a reason for me to stick around so I'll probably be calling it a day after that. That could change of course, but for right now that's my plan. Others might want to keep living as long as they can to see all the possibilities that are ahead, but it really just doesn't interest me. I should be able to have that view and make that choice for myself without feeling bad or guilty about it.

Everyone's views on this topic are going to be different and I don't think that anything anyone says is really going to convince anyone to change their mind on it. If anything, this guy did succeed in getting people to talk about a difficult subject, which is good. We aren't given a choice as to whether or not we want to be born and I don't feel that anyone should feel forced to keep on living if they don't want to. Choosing death also shouldn't immediately label you as being sick or unfit to make rational decisions. Of course, if someone feels it's their only option that's something else entirely.
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If your life doesn't feel important to you, you need to get some help. It probably seems that there is nothing wrong with you and that it is "okay" to feel like your existence is not worth living, but that is exactly, 100%, absolutely guaranteed, clinical depression. You feel the way you do because your brain is not working right dude, and you need help. I'm telling you this from the position of someone who felt exactly like you did. I had no idea there was a problem until someone stopped me from killing myself.

If you aren't going to get help, then I can only offer you one more piece of advice: when you are feeling the way you feel, don't make any big decisions. Just make small decisions. That's what my doctor told me, and it was the best advice I've ever received.
 
Leadsalad

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*shrug* if those suicide booths in Futurama existed now, I'd most likely walk into one tomorrow no problem.
 
Abefroman

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If the people who don't really care if they die wouldn't mind, I would like to ask a question.. What are your religious beliefs? What do you do for a living? What is your level of education? I'm not gonna be an insensitive internet dickhead, I would just like to offer a suggestion.
 
Heriotze

Heriotze

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Drajakur_sl said:
If you aren't going to get help, then I can only offer you one more piece of advice: when you are feeling the way you feel, don't make any big decisions. Just make small decisions. That's what my doctor told me, and it was the best advice I've ever received.
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This is really good advice.

I'm kind of in the same mindset as Koushirou and have also been dealing with it since I was very young. I had wanted to talk to someone and get help a while ago when I was younger and realized that it was pretty serious and I was probably in the middle of being so young and stupid that I might make some brash decision regarding some extended down period that i was going through but my parents were kind of dicks and ended up using help as a threat and really pushing that there was nothing wrong and that people would think that I was even weirder if they found out that I was getting help. I ended up just figuring out ways to temporarily fix things as best as I could without any professional help which ends up being incredibly torturous when things kind of snap back to being as normal as they can be and I get to realize all of the things that I have had to completely miss out on in order to either deal with this or keep away from other people so that they don't feel like it was any of their doing that triggered anything, I guess so that they don't feel bad and then overcompensate in trying to relate to it which makes things exponentially worse. It's insanely weird having someone else internalize your thoughts and behaviors and give you reasons why you should or shouldn't do things based on their own thought process. Presently I am kind of glad that I never talked to anyone when i was younger or got put on any medication after seeing the complete break down of several of my friends who have just completely self destructed after being on medication from a very early age until they realized that it was better to feel shitty than to never feel anything again and be numb but have society tolerate you because you got to act semi normal in that state. I am, actually, completely terrified of talking with a doctor about this and having them prescribe pills and then fuck around with dosage for a year while I turn into a shell of a shell and just drone through things. I really haven't thought about suicide for a while now other than Koushirou's scenario of not having anyone to let down anymore but it definitely seems like this ends up in similar stances to a religious debate where the yeas and nays are forever polarized because they do not have the ability to understand the opposing side and are just arguing the right point of a different argument with each other.

I understand why someone would want to kill themselves and realize that there's definitely a point of no return where you weigh what you've lost or missed out on due to how your brain is working versus what you stand to gain if it could work normally today and from now on that I don't think that I could begrudge anyone for seeing that what's to come is just a steep slope of more heading down and not wanting to burden themselves or people that they care about with faking through life so other people won't feel bad but I know that should be the last of the last resort and that it is too big of a decision to make while you're not functioning at 100%. I also understand the opposing side's points and see how incredibly destructive this can be to people and it seems like it is showing thorough in people's intensity that has been born of personal experience with going through a friend or loved one taking this option. I would say to people with friends currently going through something to keep looking at what people are writing who can relate to this writer's action. Your brain isn't working like theirs is and the two will probably never be in synch but that's just how things are.
 
N

Numbers_sl

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Why is that? The choice of when one dies is a deeply personal one, especially important when one is disabled or has their quality of life below a tolerable threshold.
 
chaos

chaos

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Heriotze_sl said:
This is really good advice.

I'm kind of in the same mindset as Koushirou and have also been dealing with it since I was very young. I had wanted to talk to someone and get help a while ago when I was younger and realized that it was pretty serious and I was probably in the middle of being so young and stupid that I might make some brash decision regarding some extended down period that i was going through but my parents were kind of dicks and ended up using help as a threat and really pushing that there was nothing wrong and that people would think that I was even weirder if they found out that I was getting help. I ended up just figuring out ways to temporarily fix things as best as I could without any professional help which ends up being incredibly torturous when things kind of snap back to being as normal as they can be and I get to realize all of the things that I have had to completely miss out on in order to either deal with this or keep away from other people so that they don't feel like it was any of their doing that triggered anything, I guess so that they don't feel bad and then overcompensate in trying to relate to it which makes things exponentially worse. It's insanely weird having someone else internalize your thoughts and behaviors and give you reasons why you should or shouldn't do things based on their own thought process. Presently I am kind of glad that I never talked to anyone when i was younger or got put on any medication after seeing the complete break down of several of my friends who have just completely self destructed after being on medication from a very early age until they realized that it was better to feel shitty than to never feel anything again and be numb but have society tolerate you because you got to act semi normal in that state. I am, actually, completely terrified of talking with a doctor about this and having them prescribe pills and then fuck around with dosage for a year while I turn into a shell of a shell and just drone through things. I really haven't thought about suicide for a while now other than Koushirou's scenario of not having anyone to let down anymore but it definitely seems like this ends up in similar stances to a religious debate where the yeas and nays are forever polarized because they do not have the ability to understand the opposing side and are just arguing the right point of a different argument with each other.

I understand why someone would want to kill themselves and realize that there's definitely a point of no return where you weigh what you've lost or missed out on due to how your brain is working versus what you stand to gain if it could work normally today and from now on that I don't think that I could begrudge anyone for seeing that what's to come is just a steep slope of more heading down and not wanting to burden themselves or people that they care about with faking through life so other people won't feel bad but I know that should be the last of the last resort and that it is too big of a decision to make while you're not functioning at 100%. I also understand the opposing side's points and see how incredibly destructive this can be to people and it seems like it is showing thorough in people's intensity that has been born of personal experience with going through a friend or loved one taking this option. I would say to people with friends currently going through something to keep looking at what people are writing who can relate to this writer's action. Your brain isn't working like theirs is and the two will probably never be in synch but that's just how things are.
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See, but you can't relate to this writer. You have untreated mental illness and have stigmatized treatment to the point that you are making excuses and fantastic scenarios to avoid it. This dude chose to die, and he is retarded but whatever. You are actively choosing to be mentally ill. You are choosing a shitty life rather than death.

I really hope you wake up and realize you need help and do something about your life.
 
D

Dumar_sl

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You're not mentally sick whatsoever. Do not let society or anyone here tell you you're mentally ill for not wanting to the live the life you're living. A mentally healthy person in a very mentally sick society will often feel alone, estranged, and alienated, which could lead to suicide. But that suicide is in, fact, a healthy choice. Brief introduction that touches the subject:

Psychology Today - Depressive Realism

If so, the concept of depression may-at least in some cases-be turned onto its head and positively redefined as something like 'the healthy suspicion that modern life has no meaning and that modern society is absurd and alienating'
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And of course, no topic on mental illness in society would be complete without Fromm:

Erich Fromm_sl said:
The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.
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Quaid

Quaid

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This guy is awesome for multiple reasons, but mostly because he was emulating an obscure episode of Star Trek: TNG.

Engage!
 
Leadsalad

Leadsalad

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Abefroman_sl said:
If the people who don't really care if they die wouldn't mind, I would like to ask a question.. What are your religious beliefs? What do you do for a living? What is your level of education? I'm not gonna be an insensitive internet dickhead, I would just like to offer a suggestion.
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Here you go:
Atheist
Finance/accounting
BS college

I've squandered the best years of my life 18-30 and made nothing of them. I have no legacy or family to leave behind. I have nothing of any consequence to live life for right now and I'm perfectly capable of making a rational, logical decision in my warped mind to end it if I could.

Life dealt me a decent hand and I just folded and walked away from the table without even investing into the game. If I could give someone else my life to 'enjoy' because they knew what the hell they were doing (read: had social skills and could make friends, get laid, do something worthwhile) I would in a heartbeat. I'm just tired of living and don't care anymore.
 
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