Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Muligan

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well crap, I clicked it hoping it was going to be a good joke or something troll-worthy to laugh at and it's an actual (well... potential) spoiler. I guess nothing is confirmed at this point but be cautious what you click on. Should have known better. I was honestly just expecting a lot of creative trolling this morning but have seen very little.
 

Royal

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boyegaheader.jpg
 

Abefroman

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Heard the local morning show talking about Daisy Rider worried about nudes being leaked and body paint pics.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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I dunno that she needs to worry. She's got mist-tits.

She's pretty and I'd bang her, but I wouldn't jack off to her nudes.
 

Royal

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She's been nude in a movie already, though I guess it might have been a body double.
 

Abefroman

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Patton Oswalt ?@pattonoswalt

And without spoiling it, I can say that #StarWarsForceAwakens has the BEST final shot of any Star Wars film. Wow.





Looks like it's time to go dark. Goodbye internet for awhile.
 

Utnayan

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Patton Oswalt ?@pattonoswalt

And without spoiling it, I can say that #StarWarsForceAwakens has the BEST final shot of any Star Wars film. Wow.





Looks like it's time to go dark. Goodbye internet for awhile.
Just bought my tickets.

If anyone is in MN and you want to see it on a HUGE screen in 4k resolution, without the 3D garbage, St. Michael Cinema is now open. Oh, and the price?

$5.00 per ticket! With the added bonus of free refills on all your drinks and popcorn. They also have a bar for drinks. I won't be partaking in that though. I want to be completely lucid for this.

St. Michael Cinema

That's the best pricing in the world right now. AMC in Maple Grove wanted $10 a ticket.

Anyway, I feel like I am fucking 10 years old right now.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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This should replace the Chris Hanson Picture. Remove that release info and add "Why don't you have a seat over there". Or better yet, the ascii translation.

01010111 01101000 01111001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00101110


Bye bye pretty thread. I'll be back as soon as I can.
 

Royal

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The handful of responses I've dared to look at so far have broken down into two basic categories:

1) People gushing about having been to the premier, mostly celebs who have either worked for/with Disney in the past, are working with them, or hope to be at some point in the future. Non-specific variations on "Wow it's just so good" that are hard to put any stock in because of the sources.

2) People rating it as either the second, third, or fourth best installment with their existing order usually being V, IV, VI, Prequels.

Probably gonna start avoiding any and all responses/reviews going forward.
 

Royal

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There's no way Kevin Smith would say anything other than positive words about the movie right now with all of the sneak peeks he's been given while it was being made.
 

Frenzic

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Heard the local morning show talking about Daisy Rider worried about nudes being leaked and body paint pics.
She was full topless in some UK tv show already. They don't view nudity the same way America does. Naturally an actress that is hitting it big is not going to want her beginning days coming out, full tits. I suppose it's no different then any actor not wanting their embarrassing early shit being dug up. For the record she looks fine topless.
 

Fight

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Daisy Ridley has some serious Keira Knightley going on. They have the same weird under-bite and they look like sisters.
 

Chukzombi

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He's one of the few celebs whose opinion I actually trust. Maybe Kevin Smith too but he's not as brutally honest as he used to be.
kevin smith loves the prequels, so his opinion doesnt reflect mine.


The View Askewniverse - Kevin's Phantom Menace Review
Kevin's Phantom Menace Review

Originally posted May 1999

I saw 'Episode One' tonight.

Hee-hee-hee! Ah - being in this business finally pays off.

The good folks at the BBC sent me to a press screening, so that I can review the flick next week for them. I offer my new Brit peeps a shoutout for that.

Of the film, I can say many things. But the long and short of it is that I liked it - quite a bit. I'd rank it right after 'Empire' in a list of fave 'Star Wars' flicks. It starts great, ends great, and has great stuff sprinkled in between.

Is there too much Jar Jar? For a small stretch, yes; but then the Binks quotient calms down considerably.

Is the kid bad? I thought he was okay. He certainly wasn't wooden, as some people have suggested. He was a kid actor - no more, no less. I will say that - while it's probably unintentional, his exhuberance juxtaposes nicely against what he eventually becomes in the stories.

Is it a puppet-heavy, CGI affair? There's a great deal of it, but not to the point where it's irritating (though the two-headed pod-race comentator was a bit much).

I think the key is to go in with low expectations. I did, and I really dug it. Dug it more with distance. I'd see it again.

The stuff I liked: Liam, Ewan, Darth Maul (who's in the 2:10 flick for maybe a half hour, tops), R2's introduction, the reappearance of the Tusken Raiders, the treatment of the Jedi as supreme badasses that are to be feared, the political subplot, the fact that Lucas slows the second act way down to introduce Anakin, and of course, the lightsaber battles. The use of the lightsaber in this flick is astounding; worth the price of admission alone.

I'm sure in about a week, it's going to become quite fashionable to bash this flick - hard. But I'd like to go on record as saying I dug it. It's a good movie with great moments.

Two things that stuck out to me, though: at one point, they refer to 'space'. Has the word 'space' ever been used in a 'Star Wars' flick before? Padme says "Space is cold." It struck me as odd, because I can't recall anyone ever using the term 'space' in the flicks before.

That, and the Viceroy of the trade commission. For half the flick, I was trying to decipher his accent - was it Jamaican, French, what? Then it came to me: he sounds like the Czech Brothers from the old SNL (or Steve Martin's 'Wild and Crazy Guy' character). Weird.

Anyway, see the flick when it comes out. It's better than half the crap out there, and it's got history on its side.

In a world of grades: B+ or A-

In a world of stars: 3 or 3 and a 1/2

best i could find on Clones
Kevin Smith gives props to AotC
?There's something bittersweet about the fall of Darth Vader now,? Smith says in the issue, ?that hadn't existed before CLONES: had his mother simply died of old age, the guy might never have developed that extreme case of asthma he seems to suffer from in STAR WARS, EMPIRE, and RETURN OF THE JEDI? Which leads to the most haunting moment of CLONES for me: when Anakin breaks down to his puppy love, Amidala, and confesses that he butchered that no-good bunch of sand-eating bandage wearers with his hi-tech Zippo. This scene really resonated with me, because Amidala wears this expression that very quietly says, ?Holy Christ I'm in love with a human time-bomb.? The sad, hopeless look on her face upon learning of his murder spree brought to mind that moment in JEDI when Luke asked Leia if she rememered what her (and his) mother was like. Leia (in what may be Carrie Fisher's finest hour in the original trilogy) reminisced that her mother always seemed sad. Here, nearly 20 years later, we get to see what Leia was talking about.?

He even went as far as to praise one of the most maligned aspects of the film, the romance between Anakin and Amidala.

?And that's what worked best for me about the Anakin arc in CLONES: the doomed love affair of Anakin and Amidala. Most of the critics dismissed this as the flick's most ham-fistedly handled aspect, but I thought it played out tragically and beautifully. High marks to both Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman, because I completely bought their relationship. He wants her desperately without really even knowing why, as do all teenage boys when they find who they assume is their one-true in high school. And even though she knows this guy is poison, she can't help but fall for him - the little slave-boy that grew up to be a conflicted, impetuous hat tank who insists everyone's giving him a raw deal. In high school, the really hot chicks always went for the massive ****-ups, and eventually wound up married to them. But this marriage doesn't end in small town affairs and divorce; this marriage ends with the girl scattering her kids across the galaxy to save them from their father, who by that point is more machine than man."


RoS
The View Askewniverse - Kevin Smith geeks out on 'Sith'
"SITH" SPOILERS

You've been warned...

- "Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying. As dark as "Empire" was, this movie goes a thousand times darker - from the triggering of Order 66 (which has all the Shock Troopers turning on the Jedi Knights they've been fighting beside throughout the Clone Wars and gunning them down), to the jaw-dropping Anakin/Obi Wan fight on Mustafar (where - after cutting his legs and arm off, Ben leaves Skywalker burning alive on the shores of a lava river, with Anakin spitting venomous sentiments at his departing mentor), this flick is so satisfyingly tragic, you'll think you're watching "Othello" or "Hamlet".

I saw a gorgeous digitally projected version of the flick, and lemme tell ya': this is a beautiful looking film. The opening space battle sequence is the best in any of the six "Star Wars" movies. Grievous and Kenobi's lightsaber duel is bad-ass, with Grievous rocking four sabers. The Clone Wars end rather early in the flick (about the halfway point), leaving the rest of the film to concentrate on Anakin's turn to the Dark Side, and the resulting slaughter of the Jedi.

Perfect example of how dark shit gets: remember the Younglings - the kid Jedis in training from "Clones"? As a result of Order 66, when Anakin invades the Jedi Temple with an army of Clone Troopers, he enters the Council room to find a gaggle of said younglings hiding behind the seats. They see Anakin and emerge, asking "What should we do, Master Anakin?" The query's met with a stone-cold Anakin firing up his lightsaber. The next time you see the kids, Yoda's sifting through their corpses on the floor.

Yes, it's just that dark - and rightfully so. This is the birth of Darth Vader we're talking about. The only comic moments in the flick are given to R2D2, and while good, they're all pretty few and far between; the order of the day is dark, dark, dark.

Ian McDiarmid and Ewan McGregor steal the show, but Hayden Christensen silences any naysayers who wrote him off as too whiney in "Clones". This is the flick that feels closest to Episodes 4, 5, and 6, because - for the first time since "Return of the Jedi" - there is a clear villain. And for all the shadow-play Palpatine has been upto in the last two flicks, his treachery is about as subtle as John Williams' score in "Sith." Whether he's slowly drawing Anakin toward the Dark Side during an opera/performance art piece with his promise of the Sith's power of life over death, or he's engaged in a balls-to-the-wall lightsaber duel in the Senate with Yoda, his "Little, green friend" (his words, not mine - which I kinda dug, because, interestingly, I think it's the first time anyone's acknowledged that Yoda is green in any of the "Star Wars" flicks), this is the Emperor's movie.

The last fifteen minutes dovetail nicely into Episode 4 (or just plain "Star Wars" for you non-geeks), and the movie is full of link-up moments as well.

- At flick's end, Threepio and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles (with the caveat that the Protocol's memory be wiped).

- The twins, natch, are split up. Leia heads to Alderann with Bail Organa, and Obi Wan hands Luke over to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru (indeed, the closing shot is Owen holding Luke while looking out over the setting suns of Tatooine - mimicking the shot of the adult Luke doing the same in "Star Wars", complete with callback cue from Williams).

- After he succumbs to the Dark Side, Anakin tries to convince Padme that he can overthrow Palpatine, and together, he and Padme can rule the galaxy as husband and wife.

- Vader and the Emperor stand beside a younger Grand Moff Tarkin on the bridge of a Star Destroyer, overlooking the earliest construction stage of the Death Star.

- Yoda telling Obi Wan that, as he heads to Tatooine to hand over Luke and go into exile, that he should spend his time learning to commune with those who've crossed over to the next stage of life, as Yoda maintains he's been doing with Qui Gon (and Ben will later do with both Luke and Yoda, in "Empire" and "Jedi").

- And, hands-down, the best link-up to "Star Wars" moment that I enjoyed the most: Bail Organa and Yoda stepping into the hallway of the Rebel Blockade Runner that opened "Star Wars". Unlike all the high-tech CGI wizardry of the rest of the prequel Trilogy, this is a low-tech looking set, right out of circa '77, and for some reason, it really captured my imagination. I mean, this is the same exact hallway in which we got our first look at Vader, oh so many years ago, and I appreciated the hell out of Mr. Lucas including it - because it really felt like a nod to the hardcores.

Look, this is a movie I was genetically predisposed to love. I remember being eight years old, and reading in "Starlog" that Darth Vader became the half-man/half-machine he was following a duel with Ben Kenobi that climaxed with Vader falling into molten lava. Now, twenty six years later, I finally got to see that long-promised battled - and it lived up to any expectation I still held. I was sad to see the flick end, but happy to know it's not the end of the "Star Wars" universe entirely (I've read stuff about a TV show...).

"Sith" doesn't happen; "Sith" rules.
 

Fadaar

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Guess I was wrong on that one, but yeah looks like he slowly swallowed the Lucas cock more and more. At least he admitted that TPM would be hated and pointed out the same flaws everyone does.
 

Muligan

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Guess I was wrong on that one, but yeah looks like he slowly swallowed the Lucas cock more and more. At least he admitted that TPM would be hated and pointed out the same flaws everyone does.
I always felt like Kevin Smith was pay a lot of lip service to get "in" on Star Wars. I don't if it was to work in some capacity with the IP or get in for some cameos.... whatever but he really felt like the stereotypical guy at work that was really just brown nosing his way up.
 

Malakriss

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All right it's that time, good bye thread I won't be back until after I've seen the movie.
 

Soygen

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I always felt like Kevin Smith was pay a lot of lip service to get "in" on Star Wars. I don't if it was to work in some capacity with the IP or get in for some cameos.... whatever but he really felt like the stereotypical guy at work that was really just brown nosing his way up.
He was going to get a cameo, but they couldn't find a Jaba-sized hockey jersey.