The Crow (2019)

They've run out of good movies to re-do so now they're remaking shitty ones?

Is there anything they won't fuck with? Probaly change it around a bit "because its 20xx" and it will be him and his gay lover that are murdered, and he comes back for vengeance blah blah.

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? Morphine is bad for you. Your daughter is out there on the streets waiting for you.

it can work, but you need an actor with presence, somebody who doesnt look like a hawaiian beach bum. then you need some killer music for the soundtrack, new music by young artists. then you probably need to update the story so it doesnt match the original's beat for beat. then the villain, instead of some long hair white dude who runs a black and white detroit gang that burns down houses for profit, make it a little more relatable to today's youth as the embodiment of evil. a 1%er trying gentrify the ghetto! and for the love of god, do NOT go for nostalgia and do not aim it anyone over the age of 30. then maybe it can happen.

Why does it have to be a remake anyway? Just use someone other than Eric Draven. I'd love to see a Crow movie based on Curare and Detective Salk, but god knows that would actually require original thinking on the part of Hollywood.

I really enjoy revenge movies so this movie will always have a place in my library. If the remake is a revenge movie I am in.

Chukzombi said:

The worst thing about that movie is that it caused massive faggotry every halloween because everyone wanted to be eric draven and all you needed was some dollar store face paint and dark clothes

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Counterpoint :

I think at least part of the costume change was because Borden's hair couldn't take the bleaching anymore.

Twilight Sparkle said:

I think at least part of the costume change was because Borden's hair couldn't take the bleaching anymore.

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Not to derail...but you keep on bleachin' son!

ohkcrlho said:

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This is one of my favorite movies of all time.

I always wondered what the hell happened when they swallowed those bullets in the drinking game. I figured they just passed them whole, but that sounds pretty fucking painful and like something you'd never do just for fun.

Intrinsic said:

I have no idea how you remake this movie and have it be anywhere near thematically relevant today. It was so targeted to the early 90s in every way. Trying to force that on to 201X setting will never work, you'd have to make a different movie and may as well rename it. Generally not down on remakes with the right creativity or motivation, but kind of weary here.

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This.

If they remade it for a modern context the Crow would be some insufferably limp-wristed hipster CUCK who just sits there reliving his wife getting gang-raped all day while twangy singer-songwritery faggy folk music pollutes the soundtrack.

do kids even like rock music anymore?

Intrinsic said:

Maybe they can get Creed back together for the soundtrack. If they can find whatever cardboard box Scott Stapp is living under these days.

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He's still alive?

if they bring these now old fart, washed up musicians back to do another soundtrack for this young people movie, then you know its gonna be a fucking bomb.

Intrinsic said:

I have no idea how you remake this movie and have it be anywhere near thematically relevant today. It was so targeted to the early 90s in every way. Trying to force that on to 201X setting will never work, you'd have to make a different movie and may as well rename it. Generally not down on remakes with the right creativity or motivation, but kind of weary here.

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I completely agree. This movie is just so quintessential 90's culture. I have no idea how they would make it for today's millennials.

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