The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Cad

scientia potentia est
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So, yeah, I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed to do to be a happy adult. I do know that I've reached the maximum threshold for unhappiness though.
Mist, in all seriousness, you're accustomed to being around people who either don't care about your life or happiness, or actively obstruct your life or happiness. If you've never been around someone who genuinely wants you to be happy and helps you and works towards that goal, then you need to find that. There's not any particular one activity you need to be doing to "be happy", happiness is a frame of mind and a peace with life and yourself knowing that things are working for you now. If you meet someone or make some friends that are genuine good people, and cut the bad people out of your life (this is necessary), your happiness will go up without any change in activities whatsoever. Now, you'll probably find that you do more activities or are able to better pursue your hobbies or whatever interests you once you reach a better state of mind, but those things will happen organically. Cutting negative influences from your life is a critical component of finding inner peace and moving forward through fucked up shit in life.
 

Pants_sl

shitlord
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Happiness doesn't exist. This state of constant joy...life evolved to perpetuate, not skip around on a rainbow. We're all miserable fucks until we stop trying not to be miserable fucks. Just do things that tend to make you feel good and avoid things that tend to make you feel bad. When those things change as you get older, adjust.

If you're mother is a raving cunt, leave her. If your mind is from the '50s and thinks that women having sex is naughty and all women are evil, then keep banging trash to reaffirm that belief. If you're too much of a coward to put yourself out there for someone to hurt, put a wall around yourself and make liberal use of confirmation bias. If you used to like RR, but stopped coming here because you realized everyone is somehow an expert in everything and still argue like 15 year olds, then stop coming here. Err...
 

Palum

what Suineg set it to
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I am just curious why so many people put such ridiculous value in 'family'. I'm not talking about just being a family and doing things to help without expectation of repayment, but literally you would do anything for someone who is a complete shithead and works actively against you and destroys your life in the process. Fuck 'em.

I am so happy that I learned at a young age to tell anyone and everyone to fuck off when they're being worthless pieces of shit.
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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I'm just assuming that the people who are saying to put her in a home are just ignorant of what a living hell "a home" is for those that are still able to be cared for by themselves or laymen. There are no good ones. There are less bad ones. Because if they're not just ignorant of what they are actually suggesting then they're god damn evil. I wouldn't do it to a dog. A dog that bit me and that I personally hate. That is not a solution for people with mild problems. And being a raving cunt is just a mild problem which is amenable to correction. The homes are for people with real problems beyond selfish children.

It takes time and it is difficult. Fucks sake, I'm not saying it's easy. Only that it's possible. A few years ago I think my mother finally admitted to herself that I won't be giving her grandchildren and she went super crazy cat lady. That's been a real challenge. But they're all spayed and I'm starting to repair the damage they did to her house and I think she's calmed down about not being a grandmother.

That said, threaten her with it. It's a bluff, but it's putting her on notice that some behaviorshaveto change.
 

Izo

Tranny Chaser
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I'm just assuming that the people who are saying to put her in a home are just ignorant of what a living hell "a home" is for those that are still able to be cared for by themselves or laymen. There are no good ones. There are less bad ones. Because if they're not just ignorant of what they are actually suggesting then they're god damn evil. I wouldn't do it to a dog. A dog that bit me and that I personally hate. That is not a solution for people with mild problems. And being a raving cunt is just a mild problem which is amenable to correction. The homes are for people with real problems beyond selfish children.

It takes time and it is difficult. Fucks sake, I'm not saying it's easy. Only that it's possible. A few years ago I think my mother finally admitted to herself that I won't be giving her grandchildren and she went super crazy cat lady. That's been a real challenge. But they're all spayed and I'm starting to repair the damage they did to her house and I think she's calmed down about not being a grandmother.

That said, threaten her with it. It's a bluff, but it's putting her on notice that some behaviorshaveto change.
What guy/girl broke your heart? Why no grandchildren / adoption? Do you live alone, Iannis?
 

Dumar_sl

shitlord
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What guy/girl broke your heart? Why no grandchildren / adoption? Do you live alone, Iannis?
Redpiller, clearly. A misogynist who disrespects and hates women. He probably actually analyzes their behavior. The brute. The communist. We must defend the honor of our country and its innocent women. TO ARMS!
 

iannis

Musty Nester
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Oh my heart's been broken for so long I can't even remember who broke it anymore.

I do live alone. I'm just a hard man to get along with day to day. I guess. Or something. I dunno. I'm moody as hell IRL. I know that much. But man moody, you know. Not woman moody. And I think that surprises them when they get past the first line of civility. I have to project calm. That's part of the work and that's part of life. But inside it's just a roiling mess. So they're expecting a serene man and what they get a is manic one. It's kind of a bait and switch.

I go out on dates. I have friends. I'm social. I used to be terrified of children, honestly. Terrified. And that kept me from a real relationship with a woman for a number of years. I'm not terrified of the responsibility anymore but now I find that I have other responsibilities with the family I was born into. I just don't think I could meet them by adding to it. There's only so much of me, and some of my flaws run deep.
 

Sutekh

Blackwing Lair Raider
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Redpiller, clearly. A misogynist who disrespects and hates women. He probably actually analyzes their behavior. The brute. The communist. We must defend the honor of our country and its innocent women. TO ARMS!
Everytime Dumar posts I feel the salt wind blow.
 

Dumar_sl

shitlord
3,712
4
Everytime Dumar posts I feel the salt wind blow.
Brother Sutekh, Lord Commander of the White Knights, esteemed and ever watchful Guardian of all Princesses throughout the Realm, hewer of all traitorous Repillian usurpers, does't bode an ominous sign? We must speak to the White Council at once.
 

Mist

REEEEeyore
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Mist, in all seriousness, you're accustomed to being around people who either don't care about your life or happiness, or actively obstruct your life or happiness. If you've never been around someone who genuinely wants you to be happy and helps you and works towards that goal, then you need to find that. There's not any particular one activity you need to be doing to "be happy", happiness is a frame of mind and a peace with life and yourself knowing that things are working for you now. If you meet someone or make some friends that are genuine good people, and cut the bad people out of your life (this is necessary), your happiness will go up without any change in activities whatsoever. Now, you'll probably find that you do more activities or are able to better pursue your hobbies or whatever interests you once you reach a better state of mind, but those things will happen organically. Cutting negative influences from your life is a critical component of finding inner peace and moving forward through fucked up shit in life.
I used to have what I thought were great friends, but they bailed on me/moved on with their lives when I was at my lowest point after my mom tried to kill herself about 11 years ago. I haven't been able to find any kind of happiness since.
 

Siddar

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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I'm just assuming that the people who are saying to put her in a home are just ignorant of what a living hell "a home" is for those that are still able to be cared for by themselves or laymen. There are no good ones. There are less bad ones. Because if they're not just ignorant of what they are actually suggesting then they're god damn evil. I wouldn't do it to a dog. A dog that bit me and that I personally hate. That is not a solution for people with mild problems. And being a raving cunt is just a mild problem which is amenable to correction. The homes are for people with real problems beyond selfish children.

It takes time and it is difficult. Fucks sake, I'm not saying it's easy. Only that it's possible. A few years ago I think my mother finally admitted to herself that I won't be giving her grandchildren and she went super crazy cat lady. That's been a real challenge. But they're all spayed and I'm starting to repair the damage they did to her house and I think she's calmed down about not being a grandmother.

That said, threaten her with it. It's a bluff, but it's putting her on notice that some behaviorshaveto change.
Mists mother will be worse off emotionally if Mist leaves and she will require financial support from Mist but she can most likely survive alone in her house.

Were telling Mist to help her mother the same way you help yours.

Of course as you said threats have to be made here even if there just bluffs in order to get any movement in her mothers position. Mist telling her mother she is going to leave and never speak to her again is about the only threat that will register with her mother.
 

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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I used to have what I thought were great friends, but they bailed on me/moved on with their lives when I was at my lowest point after my mom tried to kill herself about 11 years ago. I haven't been able to find any kind of happiness since.
Probably because your depressive, defeatist, fatalist attitude was furthering them down their own path of misery. Like you should do with your mother, they pulled the ripcord and are probably happier for it.
 

Mist

REEEEeyore
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Probably because your depressive, defeatist, fatalist attitude was furthering them down their own path of misery. Like you should do with your mother, they pulled the ripcord and are probably happier for it.
Eh, it happened rather quickly. I'm talking like weeks. Your mom getting locked in a fucking looney bin is a lot more of a major life crisis than all the random bullshit 'wah some boy/girl I like blah blah' I had put up with from them. And I wasn't even all that depressed until AFTER I realized all my friends bailed on me.
 

Big Phoenix

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Eh, it happened rather quickly. I'm talking like weeks. Your mom getting locked in a fucking looney bin is a lot more of a major life crisis than all the random bullshit 'wah some boy/girl I like blah blah' I had put up with from them. And I wasn't even all that depressed until AFTER I realized all my friends bailed on me.
Pretending to be a girl on the internets is a pretty big crisis too.