So, it's now time for me to contribute to this thread. Excuse my bad grammar and punctuation.
First a little background, I'm 34 years old next month, living in the UK near London, been unemployed for the best part of 13 years due to depression and the difficulty of getting back into work after such a long break. My now ex-gf is 39, from Norway and has been living in this country since attending University here (so approximately 17/18 years or so). I made my situation clear to her from day one, which she accepted and as long as I was moving towards getting back into work, that it was fine (she has just shy of a 6 figure income so money was not an issue).
My gf's background is somewhat more.... chaotic:
Part 1: When she was 16 her boyfriend at the time (professional ice hockey player) decided that he was going to stab her, he jumped through her kitchen window to get at her, and when he was thwarted by her going to a neighbours, squeezed his hand around the blade and severed a bunch of tendons/muscles in his hand. Wonderful.
Part 2: We jump forward now to the end of her University years, she meets a guy in Uni, marries him, he becomes a swanky doctor, works away a lot, and she finds out he's cheating on him, when the woman he's sleeping with calls her up to tell her. Great.
I mention these things because not only am I posting this for any entertainment value that might be gleaned from it, but also because she very possibly might have some issues from these scenarios, and I'm looking for some answers with this post.
Fast forward approx 3 years after her divorce. January 2009 she meets me, we date, we're both head over heels, everything is going swimmingly. After 5 months we move in together, 6 months later we get a puppy (Italian Spinone called Winston - great dog btw). Over the next couple of years she is still incredibly supportive while I figure out what to do with my life.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Everything is going great, a friend of mine I've known for about 10 years owns a security company, so I decide to get my SIA (Security Industry Authority) license to get some work from him to start off with, as he isn't bothered about my CV/resume, he knows my situation and wants to help me out. I complete the SIA course, she is still supportive and loving and all that jazz, everything is great.
Now we fast forward to 5 days ago, she comes home from work acting very down and depressed. I sit next to her and read a bit to keep her company and be there in case she wants to talk. After a few minutes she turns to me and says "I'm moving back to Norway". Now obviously I'm shocked, first off I ask her when she's moving back, she wants to go back in a year or two. Now getting a job in Norway is difficult enough for an immigrant to get, but without at least some work behind me (a few years at least) I would have next to no chance, so if she wants to go that soon, I feel like the relationship has no future. So we start discussing it, and things get heated as I'm annoyed at being left out of the process until this late stage. She isn't budging on any sort of compromise and it devolves into an argument where nothing gets resolved.
After she's had a couple more days to think (so Sunday just gone) we talk again, and she is adamant that she is going and nothing can change her mind. She is prepared to give up her house, the animals, and most importantly, she is willing to give up our relationship, and when I get to the root of why she wants to do this, she tells me that she is exhausted with life and she wants to go back and live with her parents, giving up practically everything. At this stage I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place, I know we'll have to split up in a year or two as she's leaving, but there doesn't seem to be any point to dragging it out that long, so I tell her I am moving out as soon as possible.
2 days ago I moved all of my stuff out of her house, and I am moved back into my mum's house. I still love this girl like crazy but if the relationship is gonna end anyway, surely it's better to get it over with sooner... right?
Since then we've messaged a few times and she told me tonight that despite the fact that she still loves me, and even though she knows it breaks my heart, she tells me that her plan all along was to go without me.
Currently she is having major panic attacks and has had to take medication for them. I'm sitting here wishing I could go back to the girl I love and the only proper home I've had since leaving the family home when I was 20.
I'm pretty sure that covers it all.
This fucking sucks.
