The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread
- Thread starter Wintermute
- Start date
I don't know too many people who don't have a ton of visible tattoos that aren't attention whores so ... she's probably an attention whore. And probably crazy.
So bang her.
So bang her.
Any girl could be potentially be a bad idea, tattood girls just seem to have higher odds of that happening, imo.
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TheBeagle
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You already know the answer to this question. Let your weiner be your guide.
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Thought crossed my mind. I was really tempted. Actually, at some point I'm pretty sure in one of my messages I told her I was calling the cops to retrieve my stolen property. Thing is, I think I left the receipt in the purse. Also, I think i had more to lose if the cop decided our arrangement counted as prostitution.
I agree. Not trying to act like a baller, but hell, it was only money. It was the time waiting that grated on me the most.
The first moment she avoided your advances in her house should have been the sign that it wasn't going to happen, and that's when you should have figured out how to get your stuff and leave. By the 12th time it was more obvious than had she announced it with a megaphone.
Soygen
The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
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Judging from the fact that you didn't get any action, it's pretty obvious you got her a Coach. Bitches want Gucci, man! Didn't you learnanythingfrom the Ravven thread?!
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Haha, that's pretty funny if you think about it. A random prostitute got a better purse than Ravvenn got from Furor! NO WONDER SHE LEFT HIM!!!
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I have two stories to share. I'm sure I'll get made fun of for this, and I'll regret posting it and hate you assholes and disappear for a week, but it's my last late night on "vacation" before I start work again on Friday, when you probably won't see me for a good bit anyway, but here goes.
In a totally non-faggot manner, I'm obsessed with comedian Jim Norton. He's the comedian in my avatar, and is a co-host on the Opie & Anthony show. I'm a huge (not fat) fan of the show and of his. Anyway, wife and I were in NYC a few months back (November?), and after some good Indian food we said "Hey lets try to see a comedy show." We saw that Amy Schumer was performing at the Comedy Cellar in a couple of hours, so we went and got in line to get seats.
So we're watching and enjoying the show (fucking awesome lineup, Amy Schumer, Tom Papa, and .... ), and I see this short shaved head fucker walk by, and I say "OMG IT'S JIM NORTON" and he walks to the bathroom of the club. Now, if I had to make a list of 5 people I want to meet, number 1 would be jim norton, and anthony cumia (anthony from the show.. fucking love the guy, he's so fucking sharp, smart, and funny), number 2 will be the person I write about next..) so there walks by, literally 5 feet away, the #1 guy I want to meet.
So I look at my wife, and I run to the bathroom. So Jim Norton is standing there taking a piss, I walk up to him, while he's peeing, and I put my hand on his shoulder and say "Mr. Norton" and he says "Hey buddy", I say "I'm a big fan, is it ok to get a picture with you?" He finishes up and says "I'm literally about to go on in 1 minute, come get me after my set and we can take a picture." (Yes, I know how fucking retarded I am for touching a celebrity while they're taking a piss. I'm retarded.)
So I'm pumped to find out that jim norton is performing tonight too?? So he does some new material, and it's pretty fucking great. Afterwards he goes to the bathroom again, so again I run to the bathroom, and I see him pissing, but I don't want to bother him, and I know to have my camera ready to go (fucking iphone in low light, FUCK), but I don't want to stand there in a small bathroom and watch him piss, so I kind of go to the stall next to him and pretend to pee while I'm getting my phone set to camera mode. I'm sure he thinks I'm going to sneak a pic of cock, so when he finishes I stop him and ask about the picture. Being the nice guy he is, he is very friendly, brings me out to the hallway/entryway of the club, and takes a picture with me. I tell him I'm the obsessed fan that sent him some poster, he thanks me, and then we shake hands and he leaves.
Talk about ecstatic! I didn't even know Norton was performing that night, and we randomly went to see Amy Schumer, and fucking norton was there, performed, I got to talk to him and take a pic. I was on hetero cloud 9. That is why NYC is fucking amazing. Every trip to NYC I have some story like this (like my friend bitching accidentally at Drew Barrymore because her dog took up the whole street)
Now to the girl.
This all takes place on my second night in NYC. So on night one I met Norton, and night two now follows. If anyone remembers, when I met my wife I said how she looks like Yvonne Strahovski. Well, that's no coincidence. I'm freaking obsessed with her. She's so fucking hot, and I truly loved the show Chuck, and have watched it from beginning to end 3 times. And I enjoyed her other movies (I Love You Too, and The Canyon (which is 100% worth a watch.) I've sent a handful of pics to her management and she's pretty good about signing them (although recent pics are signed by a secretary I believe, because the signatures are completely different from know to be true sigs). When she was filming a movie in Australia, I sent her a very nice care package, including an iPod, and a handful of other random shit that I'd read she enjoys, like some angry birds stuffed animals that she later tweeted a picture of that her dogs were playing with.) A month or so later I received a very sweet hand written thank you note from her, which was crazy for me, to see she actually spent the 30 seconds to write me a nice little letter and have it mailed to me.
So, back to NYC, Yvonne was starring in a play on Broadway called "Golden Boy". In fact, this was the whole basis of our trip to NYC (I'm such a conniving fucker I planned this "anniversary vacation" around this play.) I had scored 2 front row (literally seats 1 and 2 middle isle of the front row, best seats in the house) tickets to the play. So I did my research and found out the best place to meet the cast after the play. So the play starts, and out she comes. So fucking gorgeous. I'm 4 feet away from her for 2+ hours. My wife said "shit, you stared at her the whole time you psychopath." (in a joking manner.) After the play, we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and finally she comes out. And I swear to you, on my entire life and everything that I own and everyone I know and love, she gave me the biggest eye fucking and sexy look that I've ever seen. I mean, I'll be completely honest, I'm a pretty decent looking guy, and this fucking chick comes out, and her hair is partially in her face, and she tilts her head down and checks me out, and it's this 2 second eye fucking. I swear on my own life, if I'm lying or exaggerating than god or darwin can strike me down right now and everyone I know can die.) I was dumbfounded and could barely speak. So I just say "may you please sign this" (a photo I had brought), she asks my name, I tell her, she signs it, and then my wife says "he's in love with you, can I get of picture of you two?" and we take a picture, I say thank you. and we leave.
I felt really bad about that, because I thought she was fantastic in the play, I loved her character in Chuck, etc, and didn't get to express any of that to her. It really ate on me the next day in NYC, and was really, really bothering me. My wife, being pretty amazing, understood my feelings when I told her that I wanted to go back the next night and just express these things to her (any of you in a relationship imagine telling your wife you want to go back and meet a celebrity again because you didnt get to tell HER how you felt about HER!), because all I did when I saw her the first time was shove a picture in her face and get her to sign it. So I went back the next night, not to the play, but to the area where they come out. I timed it just right, and she exits after a few minutes of waiting. I say "Ms. Yvonne.." and she turns and I tell her how great I thought she was in the play, etc. And it was fucking phenomenal. She didn't try to run away or rush off, and I actually had a conversation with her, asked her some other questions about the play, her future plans, when she'll return to Los Angeles, etc. I even accidentally cut her off once. We even had this moment where we both turned and walked down the street for about 20 feet together talking. All in all, it was probably 10 minutes of conversation, but it was just awesome, and it ended when someone came up and asked her for her autograph. I got another quick picture with her, and then left.
It was so weird. I'm just glad that I got that conversation with her. I felt so much better being able to treat her like a human instead of an autograph machine. Since then my crush has kind of subsided, perhaps after meeting the real girl, but it's just so damn weird. We had a conversation. I doubt she remembers it. If anyone follows her on Twitter, you'd have seen where she bitched about Time Warner and missing a lot of her episodes of Dexter. I'm the person that sent her a USB drive with the episodes on it so she could catch up. It was funny, after I sent the USB drive, a few days later she tweeted how she caught up on episodes.
Anyway, I'm kind of over all of that now, because I guess I got it out of my system by meeting her and being able to talk with her. But there's something about that chick. My heart really feels heavy about her. Yes I know she's a celebrity and I don't exist. Yeah, I know to her she doesn't remember anything about it and I'm just one in a million fans, but it meant a lot to me. Shit, some of my attraction to my wife was based on looking like her! Sometimes I can't help but think about certain stupid things, like paying $10,000 for a "personal appearance" from her, just to be able to spend a full day or so with her. I started a non-profit foundation a while back that does mission trips in 3rd world countries, etc, and I thought about having some type of fundraiser for it and hiring her to be a guest speaker, but I mean, her fee would be more than the foundation takes in in a year, lol. (Honestly it takes in almost zilch, but it allows me to use my money more efficiently to do these mission trips on my own.)
... but that's just crazy. It almost makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm unappreciative of my wife. My wife is fucking *smoking hot.* She works out almost every day, is blonde, beautiful, and has the biggest heart. I previously posted that our only relationship troubles are that I don't get to see her enough because I work long hours at the hospital. And she honestly resembles Ms. Strahovski.
Anyway, I apologize for this not being a "broken heart" story, because honestly things worked out as well as they possibly could have, but shit man, it's such a weird thing.
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......... but, if anyone out there would be able to set up a lunch date, or happens to have her cell phone number, I'd gladly pay you $3,000 for a lunch date in June, or $1,000 for her cell phone (any hackers or whatever out there?), and Tuco can be the paypal escrow. Dead serious, 100% serious offer.
In a totally non-faggot manner, I'm obsessed with comedian Jim Norton. He's the comedian in my avatar, and is a co-host on the Opie & Anthony show. I'm a huge (not fat) fan of the show and of his. Anyway, wife and I were in NYC a few months back (November?), and after some good Indian food we said "Hey lets try to see a comedy show." We saw that Amy Schumer was performing at the Comedy Cellar in a couple of hours, so we went and got in line to get seats.
So we're watching and enjoying the show (fucking awesome lineup, Amy Schumer, Tom Papa, and .... ), and I see this short shaved head fucker walk by, and I say "OMG IT'S JIM NORTON" and he walks to the bathroom of the club. Now, if I had to make a list of 5 people I want to meet, number 1 would be jim norton, and anthony cumia (anthony from the show.. fucking love the guy, he's so fucking sharp, smart, and funny), number 2 will be the person I write about next..) so there walks by, literally 5 feet away, the #1 guy I want to meet.
So I look at my wife, and I run to the bathroom. So Jim Norton is standing there taking a piss, I walk up to him, while he's peeing, and I put my hand on his shoulder and say "Mr. Norton" and he says "Hey buddy", I say "I'm a big fan, is it ok to get a picture with you?" He finishes up and says "I'm literally about to go on in 1 minute, come get me after my set and we can take a picture." (Yes, I know how fucking retarded I am for touching a celebrity while they're taking a piss. I'm retarded.)
So I'm pumped to find out that jim norton is performing tonight too?? So he does some new material, and it's pretty fucking great. Afterwards he goes to the bathroom again, so again I run to the bathroom, and I see him pissing, but I don't want to bother him, and I know to have my camera ready to go (fucking iphone in low light, FUCK), but I don't want to stand there in a small bathroom and watch him piss, so I kind of go to the stall next to him and pretend to pee while I'm getting my phone set to camera mode. I'm sure he thinks I'm going to sneak a pic of cock, so when he finishes I stop him and ask about the picture. Being the nice guy he is, he is very friendly, brings me out to the hallway/entryway of the club, and takes a picture with me. I tell him I'm the obsessed fan that sent him some poster, he thanks me, and then we shake hands and he leaves.
Talk about ecstatic! I didn't even know Norton was performing that night, and we randomly went to see Amy Schumer, and fucking norton was there, performed, I got to talk to him and take a pic. I was on hetero cloud 9. That is why NYC is fucking amazing. Every trip to NYC I have some story like this (like my friend bitching accidentally at Drew Barrymore because her dog took up the whole street)
Now to the girl.
This all takes place on my second night in NYC. So on night one I met Norton, and night two now follows. If anyone remembers, when I met my wife I said how she looks like Yvonne Strahovski. Well, that's no coincidence. I'm freaking obsessed with her. She's so fucking hot, and I truly loved the show Chuck, and have watched it from beginning to end 3 times. And I enjoyed her other movies (I Love You Too, and The Canyon (which is 100% worth a watch.) I've sent a handful of pics to her management and she's pretty good about signing them (although recent pics are signed by a secretary I believe, because the signatures are completely different from know to be true sigs). When she was filming a movie in Australia, I sent her a very nice care package, including an iPod, and a handful of other random shit that I'd read she enjoys, like some angry birds stuffed animals that she later tweeted a picture of that her dogs were playing with.) A month or so later I received a very sweet hand written thank you note from her, which was crazy for me, to see she actually spent the 30 seconds to write me a nice little letter and have it mailed to me.
So, back to NYC, Yvonne was starring in a play on Broadway called "Golden Boy". In fact, this was the whole basis of our trip to NYC (I'm such a conniving fucker I planned this "anniversary vacation" around this play.) I had scored 2 front row (literally seats 1 and 2 middle isle of the front row, best seats in the house) tickets to the play. So I did my research and found out the best place to meet the cast after the play. So the play starts, and out she comes. So fucking gorgeous. I'm 4 feet away from her for 2+ hours. My wife said "shit, you stared at her the whole time you psychopath." (in a joking manner.) After the play, we wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and finally she comes out. And I swear to you, on my entire life and everything that I own and everyone I know and love, she gave me the biggest eye fucking and sexy look that I've ever seen. I mean, I'll be completely honest, I'm a pretty decent looking guy, and this fucking chick comes out, and her hair is partially in her face, and she tilts her head down and checks me out, and it's this 2 second eye fucking. I swear on my own life, if I'm lying or exaggerating than god or darwin can strike me down right now and everyone I know can die.) I was dumbfounded and could barely speak. So I just say "may you please sign this" (a photo I had brought), she asks my name, I tell her, she signs it, and then my wife says "he's in love with you, can I get of picture of you two?" and we take a picture, I say thank you. and we leave.
I felt really bad about that, because I thought she was fantastic in the play, I loved her character in Chuck, etc, and didn't get to express any of that to her. It really ate on me the next day in NYC, and was really, really bothering me. My wife, being pretty amazing, understood my feelings when I told her that I wanted to go back the next night and just express these things to her (any of you in a relationship imagine telling your wife you want to go back and meet a celebrity again because you didnt get to tell HER how you felt about HER!), because all I did when I saw her the first time was shove a picture in her face and get her to sign it. So I went back the next night, not to the play, but to the area where they come out. I timed it just right, and she exits after a few minutes of waiting. I say "Ms. Yvonne.." and she turns and I tell her how great I thought she was in the play, etc. And it was fucking phenomenal. She didn't try to run away or rush off, and I actually had a conversation with her, asked her some other questions about the play, her future plans, when she'll return to Los Angeles, etc. I even accidentally cut her off once. We even had this moment where we both turned and walked down the street for about 20 feet together talking. All in all, it was probably 10 minutes of conversation, but it was just awesome, and it ended when someone came up and asked her for her autograph. I got another quick picture with her, and then left.
It was so weird. I'm just glad that I got that conversation with her. I felt so much better being able to treat her like a human instead of an autograph machine. Since then my crush has kind of subsided, perhaps after meeting the real girl, but it's just so damn weird. We had a conversation. I doubt she remembers it. If anyone follows her on Twitter, you'd have seen where she bitched about Time Warner and missing a lot of her episodes of Dexter. I'm the person that sent her a USB drive with the episodes on it so she could catch up. It was funny, after I sent the USB drive, a few days later she tweeted how she caught up on episodes.
Anyway, I'm kind of over all of that now, because I guess I got it out of my system by meeting her and being able to talk with her. But there's something about that chick. My heart really feels heavy about her. Yes I know she's a celebrity and I don't exist. Yeah, I know to her she doesn't remember anything about it and I'm just one in a million fans, but it meant a lot to me. Shit, some of my attraction to my wife was based on looking like her! Sometimes I can't help but think about certain stupid things, like paying $10,000 for a "personal appearance" from her, just to be able to spend a full day or so with her. I started a non-profit foundation a while back that does mission trips in 3rd world countries, etc, and I thought about having some type of fundraiser for it and hiring her to be a guest speaker, but I mean, her fee would be more than the foundation takes in in a year, lol. (Honestly it takes in almost zilch, but it allows me to use my money more efficiently to do these mission trips on my own.)
... but that's just crazy. It almost makes me feel bad because I feel like I'm unappreciative of my wife. My wife is fucking *smoking hot.* She works out almost every day, is blonde, beautiful, and has the biggest heart. I previously posted that our only relationship troubles are that I don't get to see her enough because I work long hours at the hospital. And she honestly resembles Ms. Strahovski.
Anyway, I apologize for this not being a "broken heart" story, because honestly things worked out as well as they possibly could have, but shit man, it's such a weird thing.
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......... but, if anyone out there would be able to set up a lunch date, or happens to have her cell phone number, I'd gladly pay you $3,000 for a lunch date in June, or $1,000 for her cell phone (any hackers or whatever out there?), and Tuco can be the paypal escrow. Dead serious, 100% serious offer.
Vanderhoof
Trakanon Raider
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TheBeagle
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So i called this whore and she was on her way but started haggling for an extra $40 and I realized just how fucking late it is and she has no tits so I totally pussed out. I need to get drunk earlier in the day.
http://dallas.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...20-21/18739041
http://dallas.backpage.com/FemaleEsc...20-21/18739041
That's more social engineering that hacking. Buy a burner, find her talent agency and press agent, call with an offer, and ask to speak about her with her said agent. Fake a name from a legit company, if the company is legit odds are they aren't going to pursue it (I don't know why they would at her level of the game). If she sounds like she's walking, has non-office background noise, obviously, assume cell and you have it. If not, make the conversation work and ask if you can call her back directly because you need to consult with your backers. She's not going to make a deal without her agent's approval, but she'll still talk on her own without him there.
That'll be $50, adjusted for effort.