The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
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I've been reading The Hobbit to my son, who is five. He loves it but there are tons of words and phrases he doesn't know, so we go over each one so he learns the words. We recently read through the riddles in the dark chapter, where Gollum considers Bilbo and wonders if he is a "tasty morsel" which of course resulted in a lot of questions from a five year old.

Next day, I hear through the grapevine that my son is busted in kindergarten for chasing after his teacher, who is 27 and cute and has probably never even heard of The Hobbit, and he kept telling her "Miss Telaxo you are a tasty morsel!"

I'm not looking forward to our first parent teacher conferences where I have to try and explain to her that I'm not teaching my five year old how to sexually harass women, honestly it is from a fantasy novel about hobbits and dwarves.

This is bloody hilarious. Tell the teacher where he got it, she'll be good with it, I'm sure. I bloody love it when phrases we read together get dumped into our common conversation. Stuff from Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings has appeared. It's particularly funny from younger kids.
 

Bondurant

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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The Silmarillion was a pretty fucking boring book. Maybe it was just the manner in which it was told or that it had 0 relatable characters. There'd have to be some serious creative licensing going on to make an interesting Silimarillion movie.

The Silmarillion is like a history book ; while there are some interesting character stories, the narration is clinical at best, and most of the time bland and erratic. it's an unfinished work, with lots of interesting stuff, boring trivia and going-nowhere lore. While Amazon statement implies a multiple season TV show based on stuff BEFORE LotR, it's obvious their production will be on par with The Hobbit rather than LotR. Prepare yourselves for a lot of bad CGI, corny characters and unnecessary love triangles.
 

Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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Something like the Amazon deal going down when it did makes a little more sense now. It turns out Christopher Tolkien retired as the Director of the Tolkien Estate back in August.

And they didn't acquire the rights to The Silmarillion. Basically, they got the TV rights to the same material that the movie rights were sold for years ago. There's a small amount of overlap because some of those figures and events from The Silmarillion are mentioned in the LotR and it's appendices but they probably wouldn't be able to build a series out of that.
 
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