The Lord of the Rings

Amazon will never admit the truth if this show does badly and they will manipulate the numbers however much is necessary to maintain appearances.

Chukzombi said:

i'm just teasing you, i'm really not a total asshole. i thought Viggo was Australian to be honest, but nope, he's a New Yorker. Galadrial is the Aussie and i thought she was from the US. i thought Merry was English/Irish but he's a German. of course we know Arwen is from the US. and Agent Smith is Nigerian.

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what about those other apes they got on this show? are they from America?

spronk said:

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started rewatching Jacksons trilogy tonight and its gonna be weird how Galadriel is so passive and "whatever" in those movies but is a huge GirlBoss in the show

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Yes, "passive and whatever" is a perfect way to describe someone offered the ring, who declines because she knows it would corrupt her, LMAO.

Never change showing the rest of the forum what you are. They'll catch up eventually

Here's what happens in EP1:
-Guyladriel uses time travel to come to our time for hairstyle and body+junk mutilation advice,
- xhe bumps into MoonGirl Layla and they address toxic patriarchy and how sometrhing has to be done,
- xhe then visits Vag-hulk (no, not Banner, the other Vag-hulk) for some legal paperwork,
- before leaving xhe visits Tolkien's grave and takes a big steaming dump,
- xhe returns to Bezos' Fantasy Land and serves Celeborn with divorce papers (yeah, why wait for EP2, just do it now kween), he then erases himself out of existance,
- xhe then proceeds to have adventures in places and times that contradict Tolkien's work.
Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Fuck everyone who gives anything other than shit to Amazon after this....

Ossoi said:

Yes, "passive and whatever" is a perfect way to describe someone offered the ring, who declines because she knows it would corrupt her, LMAO.

Never change showing the rest of the forum what you are. They'll catch up eventually

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Yeah that's a dumb take. She's essentially the most powerful Elf in Middle Earth during her tenure there, bears one of the three Elven rings, becomes Sauron's key rival after she's the earliest of anyone to sniff out his treacheries, and demolishes Dol Guldor almost single-handedly. Oh, and that's long after she became the only woman to speak up against the Valar (the gods of Tolkien's lore) during Feanor's revolt, right before she left Aman (paradise) to go off and found a kingdom of her own. Her own mother called her "man maiden" because she was unusually strong. She's been "GirlBoss" since Tolkien invented her almost a century ago.

Even if you just use the movies as precedent, in the Hobbit she walks barefoot into Sauron's fortress, essentially slings Gandalf over her shoulder, fights off the ringwraiths, and bounces Sauron the fuck out like he's a neighbor's bratty kid.

Of course, in the Amazon show she's evidently a master swordsman and will be twirling around on wires like a Crouching Tiger reject, because everyone just fucking loved Legolas's stunt work in the LoTR movies so we simply must have a woman do it now, but that's a different matter.

"Winning two tickets felt like a Big Deal – not just because we would see the first two episodes of Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, but because we needed to arrive at 4pm for the red carpet.

I didn’t feel very lucky. We were immediately confined in a “fan pen”, which was hot and overcrowded. We were not allowed to bring food or “open” drinks containers. After about an hour of standing there, unable to see anything (being 5’2 does not help in these situations) and with nothing actually happening, claustrophobia struck.

After explaining to several members of staff that I’m claustrophobic and have panic attacks, my partner and I were put in a less crowded fan pen. I asked if there was an option to leave and then come back for the screening – but didn’t get an answer. Again, the metal barrier closed on us, but at least I could see and breathe more easily."

Review just came in. Appears to sum up what everyone expected. A pretty but boring story that lacks any real flavor. Its like a beautiful cake that somebody forgot to add the sugar too.

Heh, Bezos's own newspaper ripped it pretty hard.

Now that's pretty fucking weird, because there are some obviously paid for shills going in hard on it but his own newspaper shits on it?

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power: No turkey, however bloated and stupid, could ever be big enough to convey the mesmerising awfulness of Amazon's billion dollar Tolkien epic


For reference, the Guardian is ultra-woke. The Daily Mail is conservative.

Interpret that how you wish

if the WaPo cant even let this one slide in under the radar, then it must really be shit. i bet its all queermo music and beauty shots of landscape while one or two characters stroll through the middle of it.

stunning and brave

Reviews coming in

Season 1 Reviews

Its looking like it might be a pretty solid season.

spronk said:

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That's a low bar. House of the Dragon ain't shit.

What it was always about

Bezos was more likeable when he was on Fringe