Tips on being a cheap piece of shit

Chukzombi

Silver Earl of the Realm
52,359
144,830
273d 10h 37m
I did the cheap old car thing for a long time but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it if you can't do your own wrenching because things are just going to need replacing regularly. Many small little problems that need attention before they become expensive problems. In any case, get something with an enthousiast following because it guarantees parts supply will keep going and it will have active forums where you can find solutions to common problems. There's also many cars where one engine variant is nothing but trouble and another lasts forever, helps to read up on that stuff.

I wouldn't go further back than late 90s/early 2000s though, those cars can be had for pennies now and have way more safety designed into them than anything from the 70s. Also much better gas mileage. Fuel injection tech was mature and didn't have all the expensive headaches associated with newer turbocharged direct injection systems.
if you go a bit earlier, pre 1995. in NJ you dont need to ever get your car inspected. just roll with whatever you got.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: Sadre Spinegnawer

Kirun

<Gold Donor>
9,096
11,208
I wouldn't go further back than late 90s/early 2000s though, those cars can be had for pennies now and have way more safety designed into them than anything from the 70s. Also much better gas mileage. Fuel injection tech was mature and didn't have all the expensive headaches associated with newer turbocharged direct injection systems.

Anybody who says, "Man! They don't build 'em like they used to!" and then refers to some 1960s or 70s hunk of fucking death is almost always some old ass boomer, too afraid to fucking move on with the world. Those older cars are fucking horrid from a safety standpoint. They can wax poetic all day long about how they were "built like tanks", but it won't matter if the engine block ends up in your lap or the steering column impales your fucking sternum.
 

Izo

Golden Baronet of the Realm
13,575
8,302
67d 4h 26m
Anybody who says, "Man! They don't build 'em like they used to!" and then refers to some 1960s or 70s hunk of fucking death is almost always some old ass boomer, too afraid to fucking move on with the world. Those older cars are fucking horrid from a safety standpoint. They can wax poetic all day long about how they were "built like tanks", but it won't matter if the engine block ends up in your lap or the steering column impales your fucking sternum.
deathproof-print-800b.jpg

What do you mean?
 

Sadre Spinegnawer

<Bronze Donator>
3,419
2,791
21d 20h 16m
Anybody who says, "Man! They don't build 'em like they used to!" and then refers to some 1960s or 70s hunk of fucking death is almost always some old ass boomer, too afraid to fucking move on with the world. Those older cars are fucking horrid from a safety standpoint. They can wax poetic all day long about how they were "built like tanks", but it won't matter if the engine block ends up in your lap or the steering column impales your fucking sternum.

This is all true. I would highly recommend driving one of those cars just once, though. You have to be careful accelerating from a stop light cause they can stall easy. Braking is like from another galaxy, and forget it if the weather gets icy! And yes, they will impale a minivan because steel > plastic, and there is something to be said for how smooth all that steel rides at highway cruise speeds.

But there is one thing modern cars do not have: floor vents. When me and my old friend bought the dart it was dead hot summer evening, no AC and AM only radio, and we were driving home. 25k, garage kept, was very nice. And then I asked myself, "I wonder what these little handles down here around my ankle?"

It was a floor vent. It was like having your sweaty nutsack cooled off by a chorus of angels with fans. Seriously. Floor vents. Once you experience them, nothing is the same. Your whole life changes.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: Flobee and Chukzombi

Punko

custom title
<Gold Donor>
6,213
8,154
74d 11h 21m
Old cars are great if you want to die like a real man.


Very popular in eastern Europe:

1599584318509.png
 

kegkilla

The Big Mod
<Banned>
11,320
14,735
0
This is all true. I would highly recommend driving one of those cars just once, though. You have to be careful accelerating from a stop light cause they can stall easy. Braking is like from another galaxy, and forget it if the weather gets icy! And yes, they will impale a minivan because steel > plastic, and there is something to be said for how smooth all that steel rides at highway cruise speeds.

But there is one thing modern cars do not have: floor vents. When me and my old friend bought the dart it was dead hot summer evening, no AC and AM only radio, and we were driving home. 25k, garage kept, was very nice. And then I asked myself, "I wonder what these little handles down here around my ankle?"

It was a floor vent. It was like having your sweaty nutsack cooled off by a chorus of angels with fans. Seriously. Floor vents. Once you experience them, nothing is the same. Your whole life changes.
Your piece of shit car isn't impaling any minivans. The minivan will safety absorb the force of the impact and protect its passengers while your brains platter all over the windshield.
 
  • 1Salty
Reactions: Mudcrush Durtfeet

Kirun

<Gold Donor>
9,096
11,208
This is all true. I would highly recommend driving one of those cars just once, though. You have to be careful accelerating from a stop light cause they can stall easy. Braking is like from another galaxy, and forget it if the weather gets icy! And yes, they will impale a minivan because steel > plastic, and there is something to be said for how smooth all that steel rides at highway cruise speeds.

But there is one thing modern cars do not have: floor vents. When me and my old friend bought the dart it was dead hot summer evening, no AC and AM only radio, and we were driving home. 25k, garage kept, was very nice. And then I asked myself, "I wonder what these little handles down here around my ankle?"

It was a floor vent. It was like having your sweaty nutsack cooled off by a chorus of angels with fans. Seriously. Floor vents. Once you experience them, nothing is the same. Your whole life changes.
True. I could go cruising in a death trap without anti-lock breaks, throw my shoulder out of its socket when making a turn due to no power-steering, and refuel every 100 miles because the car gets 6/mpg. Sounds like a fucking dream.
 
  • 1Salty
Reactions: Mudcrush Durtfeet

Aldarion

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
4,236
11,507
60d 18h 8m
He’s not, because the amount of value that a person realizes in vehicle is a subjective judgment that will vary by individual involving variables such as:
  • What do I want out of a vehicle?
  • How much time do I spend in a vehicle?
  • Do I enjoy driving? Do I enjoy driving fast?
  • What is a dollar worth to me?
  • Will Hector be running three Honda Civics with spoon engines?
You personally may be content scooting around in a 90 hp Ford Fiesta, but you couldn't pay me enough to get behind the wheel of some beat down piece of shit like that. Given the choice between driving a beater and paying $600 a month to drive something that roars to life when you step on the gas, grips turns well, has a banging stereo, luxurious seating, is totally reliable and is covered by a warranty, I’m taking the car payment every time. Some people may look at $600 a month and recoil at the thought of spending that on a car but for myself and many others it’s an easy decision.

LOL nothing says "pathetic" more than a middle aged dude in a shiny fancy car. Unless he's also wearing skinny jeans. Thats the only thing I can thing of to top it off.

Driving a used car (>10 years old) is unquestionably the best financial decision one can make with regard to a car. This thread is about saving money.

LOL at paying 600 a month to imagine chicks are checking you out in your bad ass ride.
 
Last edited:

kegkilla

The Big Mod
<Banned>
11,320
14,735
0
LOL nothing says "pathetic" more than a middle aged dude in a shiny fancy car. Unless he's also wearing skinny jeans. Thats the only thing I can thing of to top it off.

Driving a used car (>10 years old) is unquestionably the best financial decision one can make with regard to a car. This thread is about saving money.

LOL at paying 600 a month to imagine chicks are checking you out in your bad ass ride.
Sorry to hear you're poor bro.
 

wormie

<Gold Donor>
11,333
20,829
198d 20h 50m
I dunno about cars from 70s and 80s but I am going to end up replacing my lease with a fully loaded, lightly used Hyundai or something similar.
 

Chukzombi

Silver Earl of the Realm
52,359
144,830
273d 10h 37m
there are some misconceptions you kids have about older cars. they had padded dashboards, strong firewalls, telescoping steering columns and seatbelts in the 60s. my 69 fury had shoulder belts. 70s cars had disc brakes, front wheel drive and some had fuel injection. 80s, you had your anti lock brakes and airbags. the 90s had side airbags and everything else. you arent getting safer by owning a car mad in the last ten years. you can buy an aftermarket backup camera for a hundred bucks for your old hooptie if thats what you need.

IMO, today's cars give people a false sense of security and it leads to more accidents because they think they are safe in their little bubble and dont concentrate on actually driving. they're distracted by the tv screens on the dashboard or texting friends. when you drive an old car, you are driving that old car and gotta watch our for the pinheads in new cars who dont fucking bother to use turn signals and just blow through Stop signs. driving is a lot more dangerous now than its ever been. its like everyone is retarded behind the wheel of their cars.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: Sadre Spinegnawer

Chukzombi

Silver Earl of the Realm
52,359
144,830
273d 10h 37m
let me just add, the "dangerous cars" from the 60s can be made much safer and faster simply by adding modern tires. also, get a disc brake conversion and fuel injection job and you are good to go.
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: Sadre Spinegnawer

kegkilla

The Big Mod
<Banned>
11,320
14,735
0
there are some misconceptions you kids have about older cars. they had padded dashboards, strong firewalls, telescoping steering columns and seatbelts in the 60s. my 69 fury had shoulder belts. 70s cars had disc brakes, front wheel drive and some had fuel injection. 80s, you had your anti lock brakes and airbags. the 90s had side airbags and everything else. you arent getting safer by owning a car mad in the last ten years. you can buy an aftermarket backup camera for a hundred bucks for your old hooptie if thats what you need.
If I didn't know better I would swear this post was written ironically. Padded dashboards lmao.

IMO, today's cars give people a false sense of security and it leads to more accidents because they think they are safe in their little bubble and dont concentrate on actually driving. they're distracted by the tv screens on the dashboard or texting friends. when you drive an old car, you are driving that old car and gotta watch our for the pinheads in new cars who dont fucking bother to use turn signals and just blow through Stop signs. driving is a lot more dangerous now than its ever been. its like everyone is retarded behind the wheel of their cars.
"Cars today are too safe! You should really be driving a death trap that'll keep you own your toes!"

My sides.
 

Izo

Golden Baronet of the Realm
13,575
8,302
67d 4h 26m
you kids dont know what a deathtrap is and your arrogance will be your demise.
Well, impact absorbtion (crumble) zones are a thing. Old cars don’t have that. Nor abs, driver fatigue systems, esc, aeb, fcw, ldw, lka, tpm etc.
Volvo, who used to make cars like tanks in the 80’s and 90s changed this it turns out the driver is not safe in a tank at all. So they continued the development of impact systems, SIPS, and lower impact bars (e.g. For SUV to not squash a lower car) - And not forgetting inventing the 3 point seatbelt. I believe mercedes was first with the thought about crumble zones much earlier.

Here is food for thought, the volvo tank, pre absorbtion zones.


It’s just silly arguing 70’s car are safer than 2020, really. But sure, they were and are cool looking.

Q: What is the US equivalent of the Euro NCAP?
 

Sadre Spinegnawer

<Bronze Donator>
3,419
2,791
21d 20h 16m
True. I could go cruising in a death trap without anti-lock breaks, throw my shoulder out of its socket when making a turn due to no power-steering, and refuel every 100 miles because the car gets 6/mpg. Sounds like a fucking dream.

no, you are thinking Chryslers hehe. I had a friend who fancied those. He was a raging alcoholic and drove drunk and was convinced a big early - mid 70's land boat gave him the best odds of surviving anything. And yeah, that's the gas mileage for those tanks. The back seat was like a room, not a seat.

But power steering and brakes was standard in the mid 70's. The dart btw gets an easy 35 mpg highway.

But it's clear we are tackling things inefficiently here. And if this ragtag group of idealistic kids who just might make it is good at anything, it is efficiency.

The OP began (at least) with the following overture, which has beckoned forth all the sprites and spirits of the forest:
I don’t know about you guys but the older I get and the more money I have, the cheaper I get as well.

SO: older I get + more liquid assets I acquire = how can I live cheaply? Let's summarize this as A(age) + L(liquid assets) ---> C(cheap life).

A + L ---> C.

The value of both A and L are increasing -- the OP is not getting any younger, and he is happily not getting poorer. And, he wishes to live cheaply moving forward.

But even given these stipulations, why C? If I grant A and L, I do not see why C is implied. I'm sorry. It does not necessarily follow.

Unfortunately, the OP is of little help here. He tells us
A big part of that probably has to do with corporate America becoming increasingly aligned with social Marxist bullshit

Yeah, that does not really help some of us.

I've been mad as hell since cellphones. That was my "ejection button" moment. Beam me up Scottie. Fuck cellphones, your brains are all controlled now and you do not even realize it, and the thing is, not only are you fucked by a cellphone, there is a high likelihood your mother was fucked by a cellphone and you smiled as you watched your daughter get fucked by a cellphone for the first time.

But that stuff helps no one.

We need to define our respective objectives. The OP tires of working for the social marxists corporatists (who are clearly inside his head at this point) and I weary of cellphone world. Maybe other people have positive reasons! Stamp collecting is an amazing hobby if you can be disciplined enough to really get a nice collection going. Cheap living is a deft move if one wants to really pursue philately.

So, we got A and L and C, and the reason for C is highly variable, the value of L is variable, and the location one is in the A spectrum is playing a role here.

A few questions would help us all.

Why do you want to live cheaply?
a) planet
b) social marxism
c) cellphones
d) other

How is your L doing?
a) most excellent. I had a very nice inheritance.
b) a decent return on much hard work, quite pleased.
c) are you kidding me? My entire industry turned into Chernobyl this year.
d) other

Where are you in the aging process?
a) This is it, you only get one chance at it buddy, and I for one intend to have zero regrets in life.
b) I work out, I watch what I eat, I'm not stupid, the divorce sucked but I am ready to fuck again.
c) Regrets, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
d) other
 
  • 1Mother of God
Reactions: Izo

Chukzombi

Silver Earl of the Realm
52,359
144,830
273d 10h 37m
Well, impact absorbtion (crumble) zones are a thing. Old cars don’t have that. Nor abs, driver fatigue systems, esc, aeb, fcw, ldw, lka, tpm etc.
Volvo, who used to make cars like tanks in the 80’s and 90s changed this it turns out the driver is not safe in a tank at all. So they continued the development of impact systems, SIPS, and lower impact bars (e.g. For SUV to not squash a lower car) - And not forgetting inventing the 3 point seatbelt. I believe mercedes was first with the thought about crumble zones much earlier.

Here is food for thought, the volvo tank, pre absorbtion zones.


It’s just silly arguing 70’s car are safer than 2020, really. But sure, they were and are cool looking.

Q: What is the US equivalent of the Euro NCAP?
not a lot of "car guys" here i reckon. modern ABS is 50 yr old tech. Chryslers came with them. my 90s Chrysler has them. and driver side airbags.

Chrysler, together with the Bendix Corporation, introduced a computerized, three-channel, four-sensor all-wheel[10] ABS called "Sure Brake" for its 1971 Imperial.[11] It was available for several years thereafter, functioned as intended, and proved reliable. In 1970, Ford added an anti-lock braking system called "Sure-track" to the rear wheels of Lincoln Continentals as an option;[12] it became standard in 1971.[13] In 1971, General Motors introduced the "Trackmaster" rear-wheel only[14] ABS as an option on their rear-wheel drive Cadillac models[15][16] and the Oldsmobile Toronado.[17] In the same year, Nissan offered an EAL (Electro Anti-lock System) developed by Japanese company Denso as an option on the Nissan President, which became Japan's first electronic ABS.[18]

1971: Imperial became the first production car with a 4 wheel computer-operated anti-lock braking system. Toyota introduced electronically controlled anti-skid brakes on Toyota Crown.[19] In 1972, four wheel drive Triumph 2500 Estates were fitted with Mullard electronic systems as standard. Such cars were very rare however and very few survive today.

1971: First truck application: "Antislittamento" system developed by Fiat Veicoli Industriali and installed on Fiat truck model 691N1.[20]

1976: WABCO began the development of anti-locking braking system on commercial vehicles to prevent locking on slippery roads, followed in 1986 by the electronic braking system (EBS) for heavy duty vehicles.[21]

1978: Mercedes-Benz W116 As one of the firsts, used an electronic four-wheel multi-channel anti-lock braking system (ABS) from Bosch as an option from 1978 on.

1982: Honda introduced electronically controlled multi-channel ALB (Anti Locking Brakes) as an option for the second generation of Prelude, launched worldwide in 1982. Additional info: The general agent for Honda in Norway required all Preludes for the Norwegian market to have the ALB-system as a standard feature, making Honda Prelude to be the first car delivered in Europe with ABS as a standard feature. The Norwegian general agent also included sun roof and other options to be standard equipment in Norway, adding more luxury to the Honda brand. However, the Norwegian tax system made the well-equipped car very expensive, and the sales suffered from high cost. From 1984 the ALB-system, as well as the other optional features from Honda, was no longer a standard feature in Norway.

In 1985 the Ford Scorpio was introduced to European market with a Teves electronic system throughout the range as standard. For this the model was awarded the coveted European Car of the Year Award in 1986, with very favorable praise from motoring journalists. After this success Ford began research into Anti-Lock systems for the rest of their range, which encouraged other manufacturers to follow suit.

Since 1987 ABS has been standard equipment on all Mercedes Benz automobiles.[22]

In 1988, BMW introduced the first motorcycle with an electronic-hydraulic ABS: the BMW K100. Yamaha Introduced the FJ1200 model with optional ABS in 1991. Honda followed suit in 1992 with the launch of its first motorcycle ABS on the ST1100 Pan European. In 2007, Suzuki launched its GSF1200SA (Bandit) with an ABS. In 2005, Harley-Davidson began offering an ABS option on police bikes.

In 1993, Lincoln became one of the first automobile companies to provide standard four-wheel anti-lock brakes and dual air bags on all of their vehicles.[23]
 
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: Sadre Spinegnawer