Transformers 4: Baylicious

sukik

sukik

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Ko Dokomo_sl said:
489 page pdf treatise on the hidden genius of the Transformers trilogy so far.

http://np.reddit.com/r/movies/commen...series/cigghj4

my tl;dr from 1/3rd in is: Michael Bay has made these movies to be an overblown satire of the action genre. Inflated military love, even when the military is jaw-droppingly overconfident, aggressive, and trampling over the rights of citizens and other nations. Racist token side characters, the black guy that dies first, crazy smart asians, etc. Megan Fox is an over the top piece of eye candy. Shia LeBouf is a man-child that is basically the young adult audience for action movies writ large. Optimus Prime is of dubious morality. Megatron is a much more rounded and changed character than anyone else. I mean, he's left alone for thousands of years and the first people that he meets that might free him instead lock him up in a prison and vivisect him for their own fortune. And he is aware during all of this because he learned English during his captivity. No wonder he was so angry. He's just trying to prevent his race from dying out.

t;dr of the post. Michael Bay made an action move that was super action movie so we could confront the issues that are prevalent in the genre. We decided it was just an action movie so don't worry about it. So he had to make a sequel that was worse (the twins). Repeat ad nauseum until we get it.
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If popular taste changes and the "dumb loud bay-splosions" movies no longer bring in the millions I can see these movies being seen unintentionally as overblown satire. But I'll never believe it was something Michael Bay did intentionally.
 
moontayle

moontayle

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My only compliment to Bay is that he knows what he's aiming for. I'm not sure he's capable of subtlety though.
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

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nothing makes me giddier than nerds whineing about Michael Bay films. it's like going to a Brazillian steakhouse and being upset that they don't serve fried chicken and grape drink.
 
Muligan

Muligan

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I'll be curious to see this guy's review. He's somewhat the leading fan boy vloger for Ttansformers.

What I will agree with is people need to remember why they go to movie sometimes. Just go in and enjoy the ride. We're overly analytical at times and especially the official movie critics try to come off intellectual by looking too indepth. I'm not saying they're wrong about this movie as I haven't seen it yet but I'll probably disregard the critics on this one as I do for most action and horror flicks.
 
sukik

sukik

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Hatorade_sl said:
WTF is grape drink? It is purple stuff or purple drank mother fucker.
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you rang?

rrr_img_70053.jpg
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

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Muligan_sl said:

I'll be curious to see this guy's review. He's somewhat the leading fan boy vloger for Ttansformers.

What I will agree with is people need to remember why they go to movie sometimes. Just go in and enjoy the ride. We're overly analytical at times and especially the official movie critics try to come off intellectual by looking too indepth. I'm not saying they're wrong about this movie as I haven't seen it yet but I'll probably disregard the critics on this one as I do for most action and horror flicks.
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what i love about snarky internet armchair movie critics is that try so hard to act intellectually superior to the fans of these movies but in reality, they are the ones who aren't in on the joke. these people are honestly dumb enough to believe that Michael Bay doesn't know exactly what he's doing when he makes these movies.
 
T

Tea_sl

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sukik_sl said:
If popular taste changes and the "dumb loud bay-splosions" movies no longer bring in the millions I can see these movies being seen unintentionally as overblown satire. But I'll never believe it was something Michael Bay did intentionally.
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Have you seen Pain & Gain because Bay pretty much spells out what he does, and I love him for it.
 
kegkilla

kegkilla

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At the start of this movie Bay uses symbolism to convey that Transformers is the death of modern cinema.
 
EnigmaticParadigm

EnigmaticParadigm

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Spoilers:
















This movie was bad. Like franchise killing bad. Galvatron? Had about 3 min screen time total. Unicron? Nope. You might be saying "but, fuck yeah, Dinobots!" Fuck you, no. Showed up at the end, confusing why they were even there, no fucking "ME GRIMLOCK," nothing. The acting was worse than straight to DVD, the characters were absolutely forgettable, and whatever the plot tried to be was worse than Battlefield Earth. Yes, yes, it's a Bay film, but even HE has no excuse for this shit pile. It's as if the other 3 movies, flawed as they were, didn't even exist.

Save yourself the 165 minute DVT and go watch the cartoon movie again instead. This piece of shot was DOA. Kegkilla was right.
 
Chanur

Chanur

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kegkilla from Philadelphia_sl said:
this movie was fucking sweet. light years better than that piece of shit x-men movie and i'd put it up there with captain america 2. saw it in IMAX and the 3D was easily the best i've seen to date. to emphasize how much i liked it, i was in a theater with a crying baby and a bunch of dotheads and Faulty Armors who didn't laugh at any of stanley tucci's hilarious antics and i still thoroughly enjoyed myself. also i was pretty much sober and was with a chick who is honestly pretty ugly. great movie.
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I hope you are being honest because this is a bold statement. I'm probably going to see it because of this.
 
EnigmaticParadigm

EnigmaticParadigm

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Oh, and no scene after the credits, so don't waste your time; I made that mistake. About 20 ppl stayed till the credits were done when the lights came on. One neckbeard cried out "this was worse than 'Dare to be Stupid.'" No, Mr Reddit, the only stupid here is us for shelling out money to see this abortion.
 
Chanur

Chanur

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Hmm EP is pretty convincing also. Dinobots and Unicron was the only reason I was interested.
 
Inque

Inque

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Dinobots for about 3 minutes of the movie, all they do is roar when Optimus speaks to them and Optimus rides them into battle for no reason other than /backhand -- He's pretty emo during this entire movie too. Too much Mark Wahlberg and although refreshing to not have Shia Lebutt in the movie, it's still too many damn humans. Not enough of Galvatron is damn right. Kudos to Frank Welker for returning as the voice but TBH they completely shit canned that storyline by having it setup as "Oh Galvatron wants the Seed" and then what happens? Oh shit Optimus is there, walk away...walk away... -- Fucking abomination of a movie and is actually WORSE in most cases to the second movie. Right now my ranking is 1324 in that order. Fuck Bay.
 
EnigmaticParadigm

EnigmaticParadigm

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Yup, then Optimus Crawling in my Skin pulls a fucking Poochie at the end with a "My planet needs me!" Bullshit and flies offscreen to cut himself and post edgy nihilistic quotes on MySpace.
 
Inque

Inque

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The HILARIOUS part is Optimus left Earth with no clear chain of command, and at the start of the movie its clear that all the remaining Autobots basically despise Bumblebee and each want control of the group.
 
EnigmaticParadigm

EnigmaticParadigm

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If the next movie actually has Unicron, they'll fuck up that character, too, by having it actually be a human yelling "IM THE MANDARIN!" at the end just to put it on record that the movie adaptation of these films' sole purpose was to shit in our collective mouths...IN 3D!
 
spronk

spronk

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if you paid money to see this movie you deserve every moment of what you got and i hope you sat in a seat where two trannies jerked each other off to markey mark's tight body

i even have free tix tonight somehow but i ain't seeing this shit, for a film connoisseur like me it must feature great things for me to leave my neckbeard cave. Vin Diesel, Arnold Schwarzenegger, great tits, or Sandra Bullock in space.
 
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