Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
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spronk
FPS noob
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interesting look at the financials behind valerian
'Valerian' Losses Hit Investors Hard as China Release Awaits
'Valerian' Losses Hit Investors Hard as China Release Awaits
Caliane
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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yeah. just saw. was ok. but only ok.
great visuals. fun world.
marriage subplot was idiotic.
rihanna was awful. everything about her. acting. writing. INSANELY stupid "well, your point in the plot is done, now you inexplicably die and go back to your home planet poochie"
no handshake callback. what the fuck?
yeah, girl was solid.
Dude was meh. not leading man material at all. Imagine Chris pines. totally different(better) movie. or, Karl as stated.
great visuals. fun world.
marriage subplot was idiotic.
rihanna was awful. everything about her. acting. writing. INSANELY stupid "well, your point in the plot is done, now you inexplicably die and go back to your home planet poochie"
no handshake callback. what the fuck?
yeah, girl was solid.
Dude was meh. not leading man material at all. Imagine Chris pines. totally different(better) movie. or, Karl as stated.
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Faith
Useless lazy bastard.
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Dunno, saw it last night (damn euro opening dates...) and I thought it was slightly better then "ok".
Yeah the marriage thing was... odd. My fuzzy memory of the books was that there was tension but never sex/relationship on the table?
I did not have a problem with Rihanna. The character was a throwaway anyhow.
Dude was indeed meh.
Girl was pretty solid.
I enjoyed it, and I think it will be a classic down the line, just like The 5:th Element (a movie that also "bombed" in the US). Maybe its cultural?
Anyhow, according to IMDb ($59,714,232 (worldwide) (30 July 2017)) it looks like it can at least make enough money to cover the production cost considering the european opening was yesterday and the chinese is even later?
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Aaron
Goonsquad Officer
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Saw this recently and have mixed feelings about it. It was visually fantastic, and the world building was superb. For those two reasons I'd love to see this as a franchise. However, the plot was .... strange. So many questions (see spoiler). It felt as though Besson had a heap of material he wanted to include, but didn't have time to flesh out. Would have been better if this had been a multi film franchise with an ongoing plot. Likewise, I don't quite know what he was thinking with the lead casting. The male was totally out of whack, the female was OK but still meh. Riannah or how ever her name is spelled was decent but I cringed at the WE WUZ KANGS shit at the end of her bit.
It's sad since the setting would make for so many awesome tales. :/
It's sad since the setting would make for so many awesome tales. :/
There were a few things that I just did not get plot wise, in no particular order:
- How did they catch that prisoner, why was he being tortured, what was the whole point of having him in the film?
- This species went from beach bums to mastering the art of building spacecraft better than the humans have in, what? 30 years? WTF?
- So practically every species in the known universe lives in peace in the space station, so who were the bad guys the humans were fighting over the beach bum planet?
- Why are there xenophobic, primitive, tribal trolls on a space station?
Please, Besson, if you're reading this, continue to direct great films, but please hire someone professional to write the scripts for you!
- How did they catch that prisoner, why was he being tortured, what was the whole point of having him in the film?
- This species went from beach bums to mastering the art of building spacecraft better than the humans have in, what? 30 years? WTF?
- So practically every species in the known universe lives in peace in the space station, so who were the bad guys the humans were fighting over the beach bum planet?
- Why are there xenophobic, primitive, tribal trolls on a space station?
Please, Besson, if you're reading this, continue to direct great films, but please hire someone professional to write the scripts for you!
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Caliane
Golden Baronet of the Realm
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Given the psuedomagic nature of the fish people, I didn't mind the rapid progress. not nearly like the Navi nobel savage. They were shown has smart here, and the whole soul link, magic replication, etc.
Another weird note/plotpoint.
Another weird note/plotpoint.
When the fish people attack the council, they make specific note the fish people do not show up on any scans for life.
Then later when, they are accusing the General of trying to cover up his mistake. Its not really brought up sensibly... they outright accuse him of ignoring signs of life... and, he admits to knowing there was life...
It almost feels like the script was changed mid filming on this.
Then later when, they are accusing the General of trying to cover up his mistake. Its not really brought up sensibly... they outright accuse him of ignoring signs of life... and, he admits to knowing there was life...
It almost feels like the script was changed mid filming on this.
Faith
Useless lazy bastard.
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Considering they went from spearwielding beachbums to superduper troopers storming through walls in high-security areas with advanced non-leathal weapons, I would guess they also developed good stealthdevices?
Why they didnt use those devices to hide their bat-cave with the ship in it instead of jamming the citys scanners, creating a huge "HERE WE ARE GUYS!"...is another question
Why they didnt use those devices to hide their bat-cave with the ship in it instead of jamming the citys scanners, creating a huge "HERE WE ARE GUYS!"...is another question
woot!
Trakanon Raider
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When I heard the first reviews and saw that the movie didn't do so well the first few days, I thought that this was due to the fact that the comics it's based on is unknown in the US, people don't like novelty, blablabla, and started making up all kind of excuses in my head. I was pretty sure it was going to be a great movie !
Well, visually, the movie is stunning. Can't deny it.
But the scenario ? It felt like a children movie. And by children I don't mean teenagers, but 6 to 10yo.
Also, Valerian is supposed to be super badass. Dane DeHaan was realy not the best choice for the role. I liked him in A cure for Wellness, but not he is not credible as Valerian.
When the writers have to rely on having the characters explain the audience through dialogs how much of a badass the hero is supposed to be, there is something wrong. A true badass is recognized, and shouldn't need to brag about himself.
This is not the 5th Element. I'm not sure why the movie would get a cult following here (aside from awesome cgi maybe).
Either Besson is just not good at script/writing, or his target audience is retards and children (or both).
Well, visually, the movie is stunning. Can't deny it.
But the scenario ? It felt like a children movie. And by children I don't mean teenagers, but 6 to 10yo.
Also, Valerian is supposed to be super badass. Dane DeHaan was realy not the best choice for the role. I liked him in A cure for Wellness, but not he is not credible as Valerian.
When the writers have to rely on having the characters explain the audience through dialogs how much of a badass the hero is supposed to be, there is something wrong. A true badass is recognized, and shouldn't need to brag about himself.
This is not the 5th Element. I'm not sure why the movie would get a cult following here (aside from awesome cgi maybe).
Either Besson is just not good at script/writing, or his target audience is retards and children (or both).
Mao
Trakanon Raider
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So I've been thinking about this a bit lately. For starters, I enjoyed the film but that was mostly due to low expectations going into it. Reviews had been so harsh that I expected shit, and it was average. Very good visuals, sorta whatever story.
But I think it fell prey to trying to be 'too true to the source material'. Apparently Besson has wanted to make this movie since he was brand new and was a huge fan of the original source material which was a French comic strip that started back in the 60s I believe and has been running till near present day. So that is a lot of information and shit thats developed over the years thats totally not going to be able to be done in a 2 hr movie.
There are a lot of other things. I haven't read the comic, just read about it and supposedly Valerian was actually more a satire of the 'male hero man of action'. The original writer was apparently an old school feminist and made Valerian unlikable and had Laureline actually be the competent one with him being a jump in, punch shit in the face dude and she's actually the one that saves the day. According to wiki, it got so bad the writers realized that they had way overplayed their hand and had to redeem Valerian into being a decent character again. Now in a two hour film with the actor (who is in no way physically representative of that) it seems like they tried to do both. Make him a chauvinistic womanizing good guy and never really manage to develop it at all. He just kinda came off as a mess since they seemed to try and pack the whole 40+ years of his behaviour into two hours and its just lacking. One moment he's a heel, next they are trying to make him likeable and both the script and the actor don't seem to have the chops to pull it off. Top this off with how I feel in a lot of comics the characters are more a slow burn, minor developments happening around the story instead of it being character driven and you can see how they come off pretty flat. The movie can't decide if it should be about the characters or the story. Compare to Fifth Element were the story was pure who knows what the fuck drivel but the characters are very memorable and carry the whole thing. We all remember 'Multipass!" but sure as fuck don't remember what the fuck those stupid rocks were about.
Other main problem seems to be how 'episodic' and disjointed it seems. Its as if Besson took key little scenes from the comic's history and put them into the film. Where in a comic or graphic novel it might work cause you have a month or two between each 'scene' and so they don't need to necessarily flow into each other fluidly, in a film it just comes off as being a bunch of singular disjointed events. It seems like each scene was that month's graphic novel. The fishing for the squid thing. Last panel of the strip is her finding out where he is. Then next month is her finding him and then being captured. Then the red light district and rescue with Rihanna at the end is the following month, with them walking away hand in hand as the last panel of that month's novel. They all seem to be individual little stories with their own beginning, climax, and end that have an overarching background thread that ties them together, but really works poorly when you try and do it as a two hour continuous movie. It lacks the good overall narrative structure.
Basically, TL;DR. I think Besson is too big a fan of the source material and tried to be too true to the comics. A movie can't tell a story in the same manner as a once a month graphic novel, and he shoulda had someone else help him translate the novel into an actual movie script, and less a 'labour of love' to the comics.
But I think it fell prey to trying to be 'too true to the source material'. Apparently Besson has wanted to make this movie since he was brand new and was a huge fan of the original source material which was a French comic strip that started back in the 60s I believe and has been running till near present day. So that is a lot of information and shit thats developed over the years thats totally not going to be able to be done in a 2 hr movie.
There are a lot of other things. I haven't read the comic, just read about it and supposedly Valerian was actually more a satire of the 'male hero man of action'. The original writer was apparently an old school feminist and made Valerian unlikable and had Laureline actually be the competent one with him being a jump in, punch shit in the face dude and she's actually the one that saves the day. According to wiki, it got so bad the writers realized that they had way overplayed their hand and had to redeem Valerian into being a decent character again. Now in a two hour film with the actor (who is in no way physically representative of that) it seems like they tried to do both. Make him a chauvinistic womanizing good guy and never really manage to develop it at all. He just kinda came off as a mess since they seemed to try and pack the whole 40+ years of his behaviour into two hours and its just lacking. One moment he's a heel, next they are trying to make him likeable and both the script and the actor don't seem to have the chops to pull it off. Top this off with how I feel in a lot of comics the characters are more a slow burn, minor developments happening around the story instead of it being character driven and you can see how they come off pretty flat. The movie can't decide if it should be about the characters or the story. Compare to Fifth Element were the story was pure who knows what the fuck drivel but the characters are very memorable and carry the whole thing. We all remember 'Multipass!" but sure as fuck don't remember what the fuck those stupid rocks were about.
Other main problem seems to be how 'episodic' and disjointed it seems. Its as if Besson took key little scenes from the comic's history and put them into the film. Where in a comic or graphic novel it might work cause you have a month or two between each 'scene' and so they don't need to necessarily flow into each other fluidly, in a film it just comes off as being a bunch of singular disjointed events. It seems like each scene was that month's graphic novel. The fishing for the squid thing. Last panel of the strip is her finding out where he is. Then next month is her finding him and then being captured. Then the red light district and rescue with Rihanna at the end is the following month, with them walking away hand in hand as the last panel of that month's novel. They all seem to be individual little stories with their own beginning, climax, and end that have an overarching background thread that ties them together, but really works poorly when you try and do it as a two hour continuous movie. It lacks the good overall narrative structure.
Basically, TL;DR. I think Besson is too big a fan of the source material and tried to be too true to the comics. A movie can't tell a story in the same manner as a once a month graphic novel, and he shoulda had someone else help him translate the novel into an actual movie script, and less a 'labour of love' to the comics.
Mao
Trakanon Raider
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If I recall they can detect them. They just have been removed from the database and as such are 'unkown'. So they are 'life'. Just they don't register as any known life in the universe.
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I just walked out of this. I made it to the 81/18 "everyone makes mistakes" part and just got up and left in disgust. Fucking SHIT movie. The two leads were as lifeless and uncharismatic as possible. I fucked hated them. The story was shit. The movie was shit. The acting was shit. The CGI fish people opening was shit and looked like a fucking 1989 trapper keeper cover. This goes up there as one of worst piles of shit I've ever seen. The only redeeming quality was the lead girl's hot little body.
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Sludig
Silver Baronet of the Realm
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Since this was necrod already. Recently saw it also. Plot holes yeah, and if looking at it critically a lot of fail. However for once this was a movie I was mostly able to turn off my disbelief and enjoy. I think the worst was the forced Halle B stuff.
Fucking giggling at the ogre thing trying to get chick dressed up and what it turned out to be for.
I think it helped how hot I found main chick which I know im supposed to be ashamed of.
Fucking giggling at the ogre thing trying to get chick dressed up and what it turned out to be for.
I think it helped how hot I found main chick which I know im supposed to be ashamed of.
Void
Experiencer
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If you want to feel properly ashamed, watch Suicide Squad. If her retarded gyrations and piss poor acting in that movie don't quell your boner, nothing will.
Sumdain x
Trakanon Raider
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This movie almost seemed like it originally intended to be a series. there are definite "episodes", movie was great visually but jesus fucking christ give that chick some acting lessons probably could have gotten a better performance out of a kardashian. The dude was also dry and uninteresting to watch.
