Vicodin, Cigarettes, and My Fake Tits - from the diary of the Megan Fox of Ohio

Lori
Heya!

Harfle and I were planning a Black Friday hardcore shopping day. You should totally try and make it! He's sleeping over here and coming early for Thanksgiving (he has no family here). Not to toot my own horn, but I'm an amazing cook.

Ahh, hell, toot toot!

PS: Here's my cell for text purposes and such. 949-636-xxxx

8:07pm
Kuriin

I'm going to be in Italy from the 11th til the 27th! So excited. So, you're back playing WoW? I might resubscribe.

February 16, 2011
8:08pm
Lori
Etoille

So. Etoille is ---. We met her through her now husband, Creediki. He is old school FoH.

Anyway, one day she calls me going off about her pants stuck to her vagina. How this person reapplied wax about 4 times clumping it and essentially ripping off her skin, then talking about going off on the manager.

It was like the middle of a conversation I had no idea about. So I'm like, "OK, it's been a while since we talked, but I don't recall the first part of the vagina wax episode"

She then realizes she called the wrong Lori. Anytime she is online now I ask how her vagina is.

That's pretty much the story but I'm tired and leaving out graphic (albeit hilarious) details.

You should reply, "how's your vagina?" to her.

April 27, 2011
8:18pm
Lori

whats your cell #

you gotta see my boobies new swimsuit

8:19pm
Kuriin

lmao

8:26pm
Kuriin

wheres the boobies

May 5, 2011
7:06pm
Lori
Number

949-636-xxxx

Text me so I can add you that way. I'm retarded, I guess.

May 31, 2011
4:48pm
Lori

did my evite show up for you on facebook?

4:49pm
Lori

It should have came in a private message

Yesterday around 4:15pm

4:50pm
Kuriin

Yesterday

Lori
Check it out. I'm celebrating my birthday late so my friend can be here, that means I'll be younger for 9 extra days! Oh...I'm using my birthday as an excuse to have a fun BBQ! YAY!

that's all I got.

No actual info, lol

4:50pm
Lori

wow, evite sucks

4:51pm
Kuriin

Yep

lemme know when you send it.

5:30pm
Lori

hi honey

5:30pm
Kuriin

How are ya

5:30pm
Lori

I'm so sad I didn't see you at the party

I was stuck with my rebound gay and his attention whore boyfriend


August 5, 2011
10:27am
Kuriin

Girrrrrrrrrrrl!

I didn't know you knew Jerle irl

10:28am
Lori

Yeah

10:28am
Kuriin

how you doing

10:28am
Lori

Alright

10:29am
Kuriin

What's going on. ;p I'm sensing something.

10:30am
Lori

Nah just busy trying to figure out why our guild website is such a heap of garbage

10:30am
Kuriin

guild website as in foh? heap of garbage? o.o

10:30am
Lori

And Requiem is conveniently not responding

Yes

10:30am
Kuriin

Weird. What's wrong with it?

10:31am
Lori

Anyway I need to go pay for another place to host images

10:31am
Lori

Since he can't tell me why the fuck my uploader keeps deleting my pictures I'm trying to post

10:31am
Kuriin

oh.

10:31am
Lori

Which is classic

It's a cash cow

10:32am
Lori

But if someone in say THE FUCKING GUILD needs something GUILD related to work on our GUILD website

He's busy

10:32am
Lori
Yet if I said "hey have new potential client" he'd reply


10:35am
Kuriin

;x Okay. I will talk with you later babe.

10:36am
Lori

Have a good day, sunshine

XOXO

11:12am
Lori

He's fixing it!

7:49am
Lori

Bad

So bad

7:49am
Kuriin

What happened

yesterday?

7:49am
Lori

Got some

Labs back

My liver is like

Failing

7:49am
Lori

And some other MCV thing

Wicked high

7:50am
Lori

So for this liver test

Normal range is 7-50

Mine is 374

7:51am
Lori

RBC 3.4, WBC 16,100

Those have explanations

7:51am
Kuriin
Do you potentially have macrocytic anemia?

7:51am
Lori

I look like an alcoholic

Guess I should drink more than 3 mimosas a year

And earn this

Lol

7:52am
Lori
Yeah, they mentioned two types of anemia

Asked if I was an alcoholic or drug user

I laughed

7:52am
Kuriin

pernicious anemia and macrocytic

7:52am
Lori

But once I googled my results I know why

Most common cause

7:53am
Lori

I'm like , "I hate drug and alcohol alike"

They want me in today for vitamininjections and oral vitamins

And more labwork

Diagnostic I assume

7:54am
Lori

Basically my days always end up with me asking, "are you fucking kidding me?"

I don't know. They said they have them waiting on me

7:55am
Kuriin

You need to be a typical LA person and be more of an alcoholic and vitamin whore. ;p

7:55am
Lori

Noted

7:55am
Lori

Half my family is a drunk or druggie

7:55am
Lori

I'm not and MY liver fails?

The fuck is that


7:57am
Lori

I fractured my bad elbow

But it always hurts anyway that's ok

The whole tooth incident

7:57am
Kuriin

what happened to your tooth?

7:58am
Lori

I went to puke and hit my face on the shitter

And out came my crown

7:58am
Lori

Cracking my tooth

And yes, it fell in the toilet

Which I had to get it because that is literally flushing $1,200 down the shitter

7:59am
Kuriin
Not cheap

7:59am
Lori

I know. I have $15,000 worth

8:01am
Kuriin

Are you and Alex still living together? Like in the same bedroom?

8:02am
Lori

Yes and hell no

Haha

8:02am
Lori

Fuck that

May as well all things considered and start torturing myself

8:02am
Kuriin

So, he didn't love you or something?

8:03am
Lori

Not in love

Maybe love like cars

Care

If he did, he barely did

8:03am
Lori

I ended it

I am the mistress to his job

To his guild

Etc

8:04am
Lori

I'm devastated and so sad and would probably. Stupidly. Take him back

No, I stopped playing

My arm hurts when I play

8:05am
Lori

But I tell myself daily, I didn't want this. I wanted Alex, but cannot have him the way *I* want him

8:05am
Lori

Nor can he have me how he wanted me

He wants me to live in the office wth him


8:05am
Lori

I want him to leave the house with me

These are HUGE conflicts

At home

8:06am
Lori

Prior to meeting him, I used to go to Red River Gorge and camp for 2 weeks solid

8:06am
Kuriin

How long have youi guys been together?

Or were together

8:06am
Lori

Rock climb, repell, cook on campfires

Shower in a mother fucking waterfall

9 years

8 in person

8:07am
Lori

His family treated me horribly

8:07am
Lori

Alex has been a very hurt man, very broken

And he needed that

No, he projected instead

That is what did it

8:08am
Lori

His sister told me I was ruining her being, that she was in therapy because of me

8:08am
Lori

Because, wait for it, I asked her to clean up after herself

8:08am
Lori

After my surgery, after I tripped over her shoes in the kitchen

I cleaned her room, did her laundry, etc

8:09am
Lori

But the moment I wasn't the maid, shit went nuts

They started inviting his ex to family functions

And it hurt me, I did a LOT for his family

More than he did for sure

They hurt me so bad

8:10am
Lori

Well I was crying and he called me fucked up in the head

And delusional

And selfish

Because I have a nice house and car

8:10am
Lori

And here I am crying

Like, that's how it goes if I cry

That's how I sat on carcinoma for a year

8:11am
Lori

He's never known

He doesn't have that right

And I don't want to be loved out of pity

Because it can still be NON invasive

8:12am
Lori

It may not have spread and my LEEP may have got it off

Dude, I'm not trying that

I have so many scars I'm a map

I can look amazing for a front

But I'm in CA now

And I am no longer the Megan Fucking Fox of Ohio

I'm not leaving if I can help it

8:13am
Lori

Depending on what my formal dx's are. Alex is helping Gaige and I

8:13am
Kuriin

Gaige?

8:13am
Lori
But I want to work to pay my OWN rent or mortgage

My son...

8:13am
Lori

Dude I have a 13 year old, lol

8:14am
Lori

That curly haired cutie is mine

8:14am
Lori

I don't know what treatment if any I'm facing

So I'm scared for that

Alex saw how hurt Gaige was

He offered to let him stay here to be with his friends and I could spend days here while Alex works etc

He's not a dick that way

Alex can only show love with money

I wanted to trade this all in to have Alex

8:15am
Kuriin

Are you with an actual oncologist now?

8:15am
Lori

I grew up many days never eating


8:16am
Lori

Gynoncology

Yeah

Well his grandma likes me

And that's basically impossible

8:16am
Lori

His sisters started being cold the more money he had

...they are Persian

So now you may know how tortured I was

He financially supports all of them

8:17am
Lori

The married one


8:17am
Lori

He got me a tiny ugly coach bag for mothers day

I asked for Gucci Sukey

They "helped him" pick it out

He got his SISTER A CHANEL MUFUCKIN BAG FOR MOTHERS DAY

8:18am
Kuriin

rofl

8:18am
Lori

Now I've never been greedy

I shop at TJ Maxx and Nordstrom

But what the fuck

IF you buy coach you need to get me leather

And the best one there

A tiny canvas bag with shimmer

Shimmer!!!'

It's a black girl bag

8:19am
Lori

I love Gucci

Gucci heels, Gucci perfume, Gucci sunglasses

I make sure a cup sits in front of the coffee maker holding fresh coffee every morning

His clean clothes laid out


8:20am
Lori

His keys, card, wallet, bracelet, etc. also all laid out for him

I did a week ago

He's never gone a day without clean clothes

8:21am
Kuriin

hehe

8:21am
Lori

I make sure he never runs out of his stupid Pantene

Though I got him Kerastase

Which he finally used

8:22am
Lori

He doesn't lift a finger at home

Yes...pan-fucking-tene

I only use Kerastase

8:22am
Lori

He's had the same hair dresser since he was 12

Yes, 12

8:23am
Kuriin

wow.

8:23am
Lori

He's had his ink pen longer than me

Those are small signs, I'm fucked

Lol

I wanted to fix him so badly

What has happened to him is so unfair


****Removed this part as it discusses about Alex's father's death to cancer****



8:27am
Lori

He didn't get his dad wanted him to make sure they didn't starve

Help them get married

Not pay for vacation for them and their HUSBAND

Not pay for tits...Chanel bags

"lend" $15,000 to his uncle who is a doctor

He told me that story back in December

I've known it for 7 years (his nice sister told me)

His sister, Encieh, is on my side

Btw

Sarah is the ringleader bitch

Sammy is a very broken child, I don't fault het

His mom calls him fat

Shes terrible

She can't grasp he's gained weight working to death to support HER and HER CHILDREN

he told me that day he wanted children so baf

Bad

8:30am
Kuriin

jesus

8:31am
Lori

But he can't...he said he has to work this way for his family. That he has an obligation to them, to his father. To give all of himself to make money, and that he gives so much he has nothing left for me

That he can't release stress at work or to his family, so he takes it out on me (albeit acknowledging it's not fair)

Thats when I walked away and said I needed to leave. Because right there, he told me to give up

The next day he said he changed his mind, that he wanted to change

He asked me to help him

It was the best day of this life with him. But he didn't do his part.

8:33am
Kuriin

Has he once gone on a vacation since being at Blizzard? And, I mean a good vacation. A 2-7 week vacation?

8:33am
Lori

He broke me while I tried to fix him

I miss plating but I stopped because I resent it

Uh

He raids hardcore

Does dungeons daily

His work never ends

When he plays his email his open, he's sending them bugs, tips, etc

8:35am
Kuriin

I remember you trying to get him to take you to Hawaii and that he wouldn't or something.

8:35am
Lori

I asked to go shopping in Santa Barbara for my birthday

We have tens of thousands of Hawaiian miles too!!

He said instead he'd take me to Hawaii

That was 2?3? Years ago

Then he said he'd take me if he lost 30lbs

I wasn't allowed to go to San Diego for my friends birthday thing because I'm not allowed to drive that far alone

Christine & I weren't allowed to go to Vegas for our friends wedding

Because he didn't know the friend, and it was too long

8:37am
Kuriin

oh COME ON

8:37am
Lori

What's funny, my former relationship was abusive and controlling

So I carried that here

And my first month in CA, I asked permission to attend a work dinner

He yelled at me citing I don't "need" permission

About 4 years ago, that changed

I asked him to come though.

So it's not like I was shady!

I asked him in December to go to therapy, he said once work settled down

But that time never came

Even once we split up

After I had a weak moment and laid on the floor crying like a retard

I asked him to please go to therapy

He said he wants to be alone

He doesn't "need" to talk

It killed me

He's so empty, so broken

8:40am
Kuriin

Well, you're doing what you need to do.

8:40am
Lori

Why I care is beyond me. But he means a lot to me. I loved him without conditions. I do want him to be ok.

I need to make pee

Brb

8:40am
Kuriin

make pee? lol

8:45am
Lori

Can you text instead

This app is eating my battery

Or call

949-709-xxxx

8:45am
Kuriin

yeah I can text no biggie

8:45am
Lori

Calling is even better!

8:45am
Kuriin

eating cereal ;o

I can call after, can text now

8:46am
Lori

Ok text 949-xxx-xxxx (Just realized her number changes a lot...lol)

Your choice lol

Ok

August 18, 2011
9:59am
Kuriin

You've got a pic!

10:18am
Lori

I think I'm going to tear the bandaid off today

Since Alex won't

7:34am
Lori

lover!

babe...

7:35am
Kuriin

sup

7:35am
Lori

Alex sexed an ugly

I feel so...offended

Who the fuck downgrades?

And she's nuts, too

7:36am
Kuriin

will fit in with his faily then

family

7:36am
Lori

hah, no shit

7:40am
Lori

I'm going to have to rent you (in male form)

to start coming to work events with me

we'd be the power couple

7:40am
Kuriin

rawr!!

Yep

7:41am
Lori

I remember my old job, this chick Shadan

her boyfriend was super gay

7:41am
Kuriin

lol

7:41am
Lori

and it's like everyone knew BUT her

how do you tell your friend?

She accused him of checking me out one day

I said, "He was checking out my fucking heels, dude"

doubt he even knew I had a face

she comes into work about a year later, puffy eyed

saying he told her he's not sure he likes women

none of us had the heart to tell her, but she HAD to have known

he was gayer than Adam

he wore paperboy hats and all

OH

and he was a ginger

with curly hair

7:44am
Kuriin

I dunno how you women do it in high heels

7:45am
Lori

it sucks

but we are all fans of those new blister gel bandaids

those work for preventative care

my pinky toes are so happy in Tory Burch flats now

did i send you the hoochie dress pic??

I had to get a dress for our work charity

so naturally I tried on shit I liked before buying something adult-like

this is what I bought..

http://wow.fohguild.org/gallery/main...serialNumber=2

http://wow.fohguild.org/gallery/main...serialNumber=2

and these..

http://wow.fohguild.org/gallery/main...serialNumber=2

I didn't buy

I've never owned a dress like this, nor do I have anywhere to wear it

but i want it so bad

http://wow.fohguild.org/gallery/main...serialNumber=2

7:48am
Kuriin

back

7:49am
Lori

this one, haha. My ass about split the seams, BEBE whore dress

http://wow.fohguild.org/gallery/main...serialNumber=1

I love the nude one

it's so out of character for me

7:49am
Kuriin
rofl

7:49am
Lori

also $500

this was cute but flew open

http://wow.fohguild.org/gallery/main...serialNumber=1

I'm a chiffon whore

7:57am
Lori

I like different stuff

it stands out imo

and my ass and titties looked bangin

7:57am
Kuriin

6:30am
Lori

I love you

and your face

and your ass

probably your weenie, too

can you just be straight

for a minute

more like 3 hours, but who's counting?!

6:35am
Lori

I swear

I'm such a pervert

it's growing worse

I should add

since we're lovers and all

I've been fucking Alex twice a week

for about...uh..6-7 weeks

I have my needs and I realized I thoroughly enjoy treating him like a piece of meat

6:37am
Kuriin

LMAO

6:40am
Lori

nope

I hit and quit

my vibrator is broken

and I can't afford a new one right now

I can't afford shit actually

6:44am
Kuriin

back

Whats his input

6:45am
Lori

he gets passive aggressive sometimes

He didn't like me going on a date

***Later***

11:24am
Lori

debating owning tyens gf

not sure I feel like it

11:24am
Kuriin

lol what ?

Where?

11:24am
Lori

tgwbyh

she called me an old lady

****Later*****

September 5, 2012
2:31pm
Kuriin

So I heard about you and EP

2:34pm
Lori

You didn't put out

He does

2:35pm
Kuriin

haha

I'm so glad you found someone.

2:39pm
Lori

Me too. We'll be apart for a while. I'm going to go to NKY and be with my dad while he's sick, and also going back to college there. EP just got promoted and has to move to Valencia. But there's holiday breaks and such.

6:53pm
Lori

yes

lol

I'm mainly testing my signature on my tablet

my bank is crazy

I'm so miserable

my belly is huge and it hurts so bad

that liver biopsy was dangerously close to my boob too

totally uncool

6:56pm
Kuriin

One sec, taking picture ;-x

6:56pm
Lori

of your sperm? sweet

6:56pm
Kuriin

LMAO

your # still the same?

6:58pm
Lori

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6:58pm
Kuriin

You got male, I mean text, ;-x

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