This feels like a good place for this question.
We used to have company camping trips, before you had to worry about all the potential lawsuits and shit that can happen by getting 20'ish employees and their families together for a long weekend fueled by company-provided booze. Many a late night around the campfire devolved into drunken philosophical debates. One year, one of the more redneck employees says that if he could suck his own dick, he'd never leave the house. Practically every other guy agreed with him. Except me. I contended (and still do) that if you're fine with having your own cock in your mouth, why not someone else's? Is there something inherently "not gay" about sucking your own dick? Now, I will grant you that I wouldn't give a handjob to another dude, but I'll jerk my own, so some of the people closer to my level of intelligence latched onto that. I'm no 146 IQ, but I'm a relative Einstein compared to everyone else here (which could lead to a sad discussion of why I have worked here so long, but let's skip that).
My first and biggest aversion to it is that everyone dribbles before they shoot, and since I have zero desire to taste any man chowder, mine or otherwise, I'd never even consider sucking my own dick. Before accusing them all of being faggots, they had been saying that the main stumbling block for sucking themselves off was lack of flexibility and/or not a big enough dick. So when we started debating, I suggested that if geometry was the only real hurdle, why don't they all just get in a circle, close their eyes, and suck each other off while pretending it is their own? I mean, that's pretty much what they wanted to do, just with more buddies involved. Of course they argued that it was the ability to do it themselves, not relying upon a partner, but I still think it is gay as fuck, and occasionally remind one here and there that they'd have their own dick in their mouth every night if they weren't so fat.
Now it is commonly mis-remembered that "everyone but the person I am currently talking to" wanted to suck their own dick, but this person agrees it is gay. That's not how it happened. I even distinctly remember a few wives/girlfriends being stunned by these revelations from their men.
Again, I realize the double standard of handjobs/masturbation, and I suppose I don't have a brilliant rebuttal for that other than that I've gotta pick something to get off with if a willing female isn't around and this doesn't involve anything in my mouth, but the presence of this one technicality doesn't negate my argument I feel. Thoughts?
