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TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
<Bronze Donator>
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I was on my motorcycle today, and I got to a point where I needed to get fuel. I don't think I had enough to get home, so I pull in. As I reach for my wallet, I realise my wife had taken it out of where it should be, so I had no wallet, no money, and no gas. After trying to call my entire family (who were swimming, and no where near their phones), I was clearly honked off, and a complete stranger asked if he could help. He gave me $5 so I could get enough gas to get home.

Total stranger just helping out of the goodness of his heart. I'd do this kind of thing, but I never expect anyone else to. Guy totally saved my bacon. I promote random acts of kindness.
holy shit i love people.

tomorrow, i am gonna hate them.
 
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Palum

what Suineg set it to
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I was on my motorcycle today, and I got to a point where I needed to get fuel. I don't think I had enough to get home, so I pull in. As I reach for my wallet, I realise my wife had taken it out of where it should be, so I had no wallet, no money, and no gas. After trying to call my entire family (who were swimming, and no where near their phones), I was clearly honked off, and a complete stranger asked if he could help. He gave me $5 so I could get enough gas to get home.

Total stranger just helping out of the goodness of his heart. I'd do this kind of thing, but I never expect anyone else to. Guy totally saved my bacon. I promote random acts of kindness.

There's at least two to three of you guys on every corner and at every gas station around here.

When you meet two people at a gas station holding a 2 gal gas can asking for money for gas but unwilling to take free gas in the can from the pump a few times you stop giving away money.

Sucks that's what society is in many places but fuck panhandlers.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
39,969
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There's at least two to three of you guys on every corner and at every gas station around here.

When you meet two people at a gas station holding a 2 gal gas can asking for money for gas but unwilling to take free gas in the can from the pump a few times you stop giving away money.

Sucks that's what society is in many places but fuck panhandlers.

Yeah, I hear you. This guy was no fool, he didn't actually give me five bucks cash, he went to the attendant and paid for $5 worth of gas. I think it also helped that I didn't ask him for money, he offered help. He's just a fine bloke, and I still smile big just thinking about how great the gesture was nearly a day later.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
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The Eclipse mania is giving me good chortles lately. Especially the hysteria about insta blindness from looking at it. I keep saying things to torque the concern trolls off like "Don't worry, I'll just drive with my eclipse glasses on to be on the safe side" and "During the full eclipse when the sun is at it's brightest". One this morning expressed concern that not enough was being done to protect pets.

For fuck's sake, my friends and I used to have contests to see who could stare directly at the sun the longest when we were kids. If memory serves, we got somewhere around 20-30 seconds and none of us ever went blind. Well, Eddie did, but we're pretty sure his bad eyesight is from excessive masturbation. Makes me wonder what these people do when they're driving and the sun is coming directly into their eyes at too low of an angle to block with a sun visor. I don't see people pulling over to the side of the road for those few minutes every day.

Anyway, time to take a walk and cheer on the sky dragon that's eating.
 
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Hoss

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So About 15 minutes ago I get a call from an unknown number. I decide to act like I'm a mexican maid so I can do the whole "no no nooo. missa hoss no here. no. nooooo. no"

But it turns out its a butt dial because I head a car door open and ding and close. I think this is the second time today this number has but dialed me so I hand on and it's a woman who is fucking pissed at some dude. She is calling him a liar, a fucking asshole, and idiot (you don't paint over that you fucking idiot), and some mexican insults too like puta and pendejo. Every once in a while she goes into some desi arnez tirades. So i'm waiting for her to look at her phone and I'm going to ask her what she's wearing.

How long can I listen before I'm a bad person?

I hear his voice but I can't make out what he's saying. He doesn't seem upset. This is hilarious. I'm halfway hoping it's an ex, but I don't remember any with tempers like this, and I should have all their numbers saved. Might be a stripper I gave my number too.
 
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Hoss

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hour and 15 minutes before I really started feeling guilty. Then I thought "I wonder if there will be makeup sex". Then after 96 minutes I hear the cunt pick up the phone and hang it up before I can deliver my line. Bitch didn't even say hello and ask who it was or anything.

This was very disappointing. What am i supposed to jerk off to now?
 
  • 1Worf
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Palum

what Suineg set it to
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hour and 15 minutes before I really started feeling guilty. Then I thought "I wonder if there will be makeup sex". Then after 96 minutes I hear the cunt pick up the phone and hang it up before I can deliver my line. Bitch didn't even say hello and ask who it was or anything.

This was very disappointing. What am i supposed to jerk off to now?

Maybe five ago now I get a text from a random number some Friday evening.

"Hey girlfriend, how you been?"

Tl:dr, I convinced this apparent group of teenage girls to leave the mall because "I" had picked up the best friend at the house already and to drive to a "way better" movie theater twenty miles away and to purchase IMAX tickets.

I got a bunch of "fuck you" and "you stupid asshole" later on when they figured it out.

Guess you shouldn't assume
 
  • 4Worf
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Hoss

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Thanks bro. That got me there.

I used to have a nextel phone # that had previously belonged to a drug dealer. Probably 5 times I heard that chirp in the middle of the night with some dude asking if I was holdin, or whatever and wanting to make a buy. I fucked with them in various ways.
The first one I didn't because I didn't know what was going on. He explained it to me.
Then I did a "dave's not here man" for one.
Sent a couple to a street corner to wait and when he chirped me that he was there I said I was too and that he was full of shit "YOU BETTER NOT BE SETTING ME UP MAN"
I told one I was a cop because I didn't feel like fucking with it that night.
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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This was a borderline jimmy rustle. More listening in on the next table's conversation at lunch. This time they were bitching about a new guy at the office because he didn't immediately take a tour of the office to introduce himself and find out what everyone does. One of the guys even said he'd walked by his office a few times and he's always busy.

Why, the NERVE of that jackass! Being an introvert, I clearly feel for the new guy. If it bothers you so much, go introduce yourself. Fucking hell, the new guy is probably overwhelmed. Fucking normies. The only thing I can say in defense of these guys is that they sounded like salesmen, and I'm sure you're all aware that salesman gigs attract social butterfly wierdos. But still, they don't have to act like gossiping women.
 
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Kreugen

Vyemm Raider
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A real estate deal between Thinh Khac and Roger Fatseas.

Sadly, not on my favorite street - Ballsville.

I want to move there and declare myself Mayor.
 

Denamian

Night Janitor
<Nazi Janitors>
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Lousy night at work and I and the early morning people are dreading dealing with the coworker who comes in later this morning. Boss heads out of the office for 15 minutes and when he comes back it's Irish coffee for everyone.
 

Hoss

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I did 23 and me and I agreed to participate in their research. I got to a point where they want me to do a cold pressor test. Now, I didn't know anything about it but it involves ice water and is supposed to help researchers gain insight on pain responses. So I get to hurt myself for science and I'm fucking ecstatic. I don't even give a shit about the $10 gift card they're offering. They don't have my real name so I probably can't even use it.

Oh and speaking of 23 and me, I also signed up for their family research thing. They match you with others who have close enough DNA that they're probably related to you. Apparently one of my idiot distant relatives thinks it's appalachain tinder, cause she sent me a message saying I was cute and asking where I lived. 23 and me said we were likely 3rd or 4th cousins, and she was cute, and I don't know her. So I sent her a message back saying she was cute too but this isn't a dating app unless you wanna have retard babies. She just responded back she wasn't worried, she'd have an abortion if it came to that.
 
  • 4Worf
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  • 1Bullshit
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Gamma Rays

Large sized member
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9,330
Quite a warm day today, wind gusting.

I had already spotted a quite tasty MILF, fit, long blond hair.

A strong breeze just lifts her light weight dress up, giving a nice view, she was wearing black thong panties.

Not my photo, butt similar:
wind-blow-skirt-thong.jpg
 
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Palum

what Suineg set it to
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Stuck in traffic going to camp up north, 1.5 hour full stop due to collision blocking entire highway.

Finally get up to the accident, as least the dude died for inconveniencing me.
:emoji_thumbsup:
 
  • 5Worf
  • 2Like
  • 1Picard
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Ryanz

<Banned>
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I took a shit that was a solid 1 foot long. It was all one piece, and was probably more like a foot and some change. Was a god damn piece of art.
 

Borzak

Bronze Baron of the Realm
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Best morning I've had in a very very long time. Or best entirely actually.

Friend stopped by with his wife and his wife's sister. They were driving out of town for the holiday. Short conversation about they were going to go to a concert. I said "I used to be a good 2-stepper". Long story short I did a few minutes of 2-stepping. We didn't have room in the house so dad thew down some sawdust on the shop floor, just like a lot of dives I've been in. Was entertaining for a few any way.
 

Aaron

Goonsquad Officer
<Bronze Donator>
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Sending my hipster atheist friends Christmas cards with "Merry Christmas" written in them in stead of "Happy Holidays". Triggers the fuck out of them. :D:D
 
  • 5Worf
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