What tickles your pickle

Izo

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I guess my friend had his buddy ship a wedding ring to my house so they wouldn't have to pay sales tax or something. He's texting me asking if it's shown up yet. I'm sitting here thinking what he would do if I tucked it in my buttcheeks and took a picture and sent it to them when it shows up. Obviously not going to take a joke THAT far, but I'm laughing and wondering what someone would do when faced with that kind of predicament. Obviously an ass beating is on the table, but....do you keep it or send it back? If you keep it, do you tell her?
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Put a ring on it. Giggity.
 
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Izo

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My stockpile of ancient PC parts finally proved it's worth. I just resurrected an old Dell serving as the PoS system for a local shop. The readme for the PoS software is a blast from the past: "Due to the high system requirements of Windows 95, we recommend upgrading to 16MB of RAM when when installing on a Windows 95 system."

Finally got to have a decent talk with the new boss at work. As a result, I am now authorized for unlimited OT to get things to a point where I can be 100% work from home.
Now you can amod full time. Lightning Lord Rule Lightning Lord Rule will be pleased.
 
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Sevens

Log Wizard
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I guess my friend had his buddy ship a wedding ring to my house so they wouldn't have to pay sales tax or something. He's texting me asking if it's shown up yet. I'm sitting here thinking what he would do if I tucked it in my buttcheeks and took a picture and sent it to them when it shows up. Obviously not going to take a joke THAT far, but I'm laughing and wondering what someone would do when faced with that kind of predicament. Obviously an ass beating is on the table, but....do you keep it or send it back? If you keep it, do you tell her?
You need to get a decoy ring and take said picture
 
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Kolohe
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Whenever someone says they like a certain genre of movies, like "war movies" or "cheesy horror flicks", I've been saying "I like movies about slavery". I can usually do it straight-faced and the reactions are always awkward.
 
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Kolohe
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We had a local engineer that used to do all of our HEC-RAS reports, but he left last winter. Now we have one of our engineers on the other side of the state doing all of them, but he's old as dirt and about 5x-8x as expensive because of the way he does it. The engineering manager asked me to take a look at it and see if it was something I could do. I've helped these guys prep data for it in the past, but never actually used it myself. Took me about a half hour to dump a bunch of shit in there and smash buttons enough for it to spit something out that looks right. I told him that it's similar to the GIS software I use and I know how to get everything in there correctly and in the same datum as USGS benchmarks, but I know fuckall about hydrography and water resources. He said "That's fine, we do. We'll do the analysis, we just need help with the shitty GIS software and field work, if your staff has the capacity". I told him I'd want to spend a cautious few months learning whatever I don't know and comparing my results to someone that knows what they're doing. "...being a good data steward, not a hydrologist". He gave me the go-ahead to put a huge block of R&D time towards his annual budget and play in the sandbox for a bit.

I was JUST watching a youtube video on rivers/engineering with my daughter this morning, and I've been reading a bunch about fluvial geomorphology and relative elevation models since the REM tool was released in my software a few months ago. Now I just got an excuse to start working on it at work, a very generous amount of R&D time from someone else's budget, and an excuse for field trips/site visits to some of our prettiest project sites.
dance GIF
 
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Burren

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California politicians trying to make something as benign as owning goats, illegal. LOL, that state is a never ending source of clown world luls.
 

Hoss

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Shrimp Etouffee for breakfast Tuesday.

Reminds me of a mexican place I went to over the weekend. They had cajun crawfish enchiladas on the menu. My first thought was "What the fuck? Never order seafood from a mexican place, especially not cajun food". But they turned out to be pretty good.
 

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Kolohe
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I hate pooping in public restrooms, but I've been holding in a monster for 2 states. Found a single stall bathroom in the Denver airport and figured that was a sign from god.

False alarm. Biggest fart of my life.
 
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Aamry

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I hate pooping in public restrooms, but I've been holding in a monster for 2 states. Found a single stall bathroom in the Denver airport and figured that was a sign from god.

False alarm. Biggest fart of my life.
As someone who as IBS, better safe than sorry lol
 
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TBT-TheBigToe

Gemcutter
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My 19 year old just declared the original Robocop to be one of his favourite movies of all time. He just watched it for the first time last night and was telling his friends how they have to see it. **wipes a proud tear away
 
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Sevens

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In April I had a doctors appointment for a check up...didn't go very well. My weight had ballooned up to 265 and my A1C (3 month blood sugar average) was 9.2.. 6.5 and above is considered diabetic. She recommended that I begin taking insulin and I flat out refused. That is a hill I will die on. So I go home and do a bit of reading up on blood sugars and how to control them. Learned that to really control my blood sugars I needed to remove 3 things from my diet
1- Processed sugars (sugar cane, sugar beet, corn syrup etc etc)
2- Processed grains (Any and all breads, rice, oats etc etc)
3- Vegetable oils (Margarine and most cooking oils)
So I change my diet accordingly...

Come Friday I had a 3 month check up and simply with just removing those 3 items my weight has dropped 40 lbs and my A1C is now at 5.7 which is at the a little elevated but not diabetic. Pretty damn proud of my self, now I just need to lose the last bit of weight.
 
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lurker

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Wife and I went bowling today. Actually, we go twice a week cuz the local center has a summer deal where you can bowl 3 games any day, any time for around 3 months for a onetime fee of $50 per family. This was our second game. She's was killin' me. I staged a comeback but it wasn't enough.

2023062615264365-2825746155044082380-L.jpg
 
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Hoss

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I get lots and lots of spam / scam calls. I had my phone off today for a training class and I had 30 missed calls at lunch time. I try to waste their time as much as possible if I'm not too busy. They don't really interrupt me if I just ask them to hold on while i get my wallet, then set the phone down and go back to work.

What's tickling my pickle lately is that i've been getting a lot of traction with the 'dave's not here, man' bit.

helo, this is jason with american home medical
Jason's not here, man
No, I'm jason
jason's not here man.
My name is jason. I'm jason.
Ohhhh. Right on man. let me check .... jason's not here man.
No, that's me, I'm jason
Oh YOU're Jason? ohh. well who are you looking for
I'm looking for you
Yu's not here, man

The first day I tried that, I had jason yelling at me and calling me some weird insult that included stupid. Like stupid box? I dunno, it was weird. Then he yelled at me in a foreign language and hung up. It was chicken soup for the soul.
 
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Hoss

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My niece and her husband are planning a trip. The trip takes them through dubai and they're flying emirate. She was telling us about her trying to make a change to the flights and get an upgrade and the person on the phone kept saying things like "Call your husband and see if that's ok". It was a bunch of little things like that that got her riled up and I had SO MUCH FUN ribbing her about it. She said they couldn't get their seats upgraded and I was like, maybe have your husband call and try? Pretend to be his secretary! she's a shoe thrower. She said if they treat her like that, she's going to throw her shoe at somebody. I let her know that'a a real bad idea in the middle east. Huge insult. She might get her husband thrown in jail for an inability to control his wife.
 
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Kolohe
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We have a new intern and I just heard him complain about one of the engineer's horrible farts.

Engineer responded with "God made assholes stinky so people wouldn't play with them"
 
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Kolohe
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Joe Rogan out of nowhere "Imagine if you got to heaven and you had to confront every chicken you ever ate"
 
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Hoss

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I get lots and lots of spam / scam calls. I had my phone off today for a training class and I had 30 missed calls at lunch time. I try to waste their time as much as possible if I'm not too busy. They don't really interrupt me if I just ask them to hold on while i get my wallet, then set the phone down and go back to work.

What's tickling my pickle lately is that i've been getting a lot of traction with the 'dave's not here, man' bit.

helo, this is jason with american home medical
Jason's not here, man
No, I'm jason
jason's not here man.
My name is jason. I'm jason.
Ohhhh. Right on man. let me check .... jason's not here man.
No, that's me, I'm jason
Oh YOU're Jason? ohh. well who are you looking for
I'm looking for you
Yu's not here, man

The first day I tried that, I had jason yelling at me and calling me some weird insult that included stupid. Like stupid box? I dunno, it was weird. Then he yelled at me in a foreign language and hung up. It was chicken soup for the soul.

To tag on to this, my favorite thing is to get them to say they're looking for dave.

No, my name's jason.
Oh right on man. Are you looking for dave?
Yes i'm looking for dave
Dave's not here man.

It's like doing a line of coke. Got a couple pajeets really riled up today. It was a good day.
 
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