What tickles your pickle

Oblio

Utah
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I told my daughter she could watch one cartoon before bed. She got mad I wouldn't let her watch a 2nd episode, so she:
* Got a toy sword and started doing pirouettes in the living room
* Boxed with her inflatable punching box while yelling "One, two, dad!"
* Climbed to the top of her climbing wall and said "I DARE you, stinkdad!" (It's next to the master bedroom and she was trying to jump on me when I walked by)
* Shot me in the side of the face with her nerf bow (from about 15 feet away)

I shut that shit down when she shot me in the face, but I barely kept a straight face when I dropped the hammer and put her in time out.
I can't imagine where she gets this type of behavior from??? 🤷‍♂️
 
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Vuuxo

Karen
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All of that is part of games we play, except shooting people or pets with projectiles. Homie don't play that.
1000001369.gif
 
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Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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When I'm watching kids, I like to load them up on sugar and caffeine just before their parents come to pick them up.

Now I'm wondering if I watch bandwagon's kid and didn't know it.
 
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Deathwing

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When I'm watching kids, I like to load them up on sugar and caffeine just before their parents come to pick them up.

Now I'm wondering if I watch bandwagon's kid and didn't know it.
Everyone has has watched bandwagon's kid. Who hasn't he shown his balls to?
 

TBT-TheBigToe

Gemcutter
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Right after that was a movie from the 80s or 70s where santa clause killed a kids parents in front of him. I think santa actually raped mom in the original because he dragged her out of the car, straddled her, and her tits were out (and blurred) when he slit her throat. No idea what that was but the kid was an adult and it looked like he dead ass believed Santa killed his parents.

Silent Night Deadly Night?

 
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Palum

what Suineg set it to
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Hear fire truck coming down our road. Oh shit I hope nothing happened to the good neighbors. Go look outside and its driving by slowly, fireman dressed in Santa outfit in a ladder truck covered in Christmas lights waving at everyone.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Hear fire truck coming down our road. Oh shit I hope nothing happened to the good neighbors. Go look outside and its driving by slowly, fireman dressed in Santa outfit in a ladder truck covered in Christmas lights waving at everyone.
That reminds me of something that happened during COVID.

I used to be a firefighter and I still live right next to the station. On the other side of the station is a sweet old lady that's lived there for about 70 years. She has a little cannabis crop in her back yard that her live-in nurse tends for her. She also left her entire estate to her nurse in her will. Sweet lady.

Anyways, she turned 100 years old a few months into COVID. She had been talking about throwing a big birthday party for herself for years if she made it to 100, but was pretty sad she couldn't do it during COVID.

The fire chief and the police chief decided to have a parade for her and they put out a notice on Facebook the day before her birthday.

Pretty much every single vehicle from both departments was decorated and did a ~4 mile loop around the neighborhood multiple times, with about 30 or 40 honking private vehicles in tow.

It was really cute and that old lady loved it. She's still kicking, by the way. I saw her smoking a joint on the back porch a couple weeks ago when I was trying to catch my dog that was chasing her cat.
 
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k^M

Blackwing Lair Raider
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Took my family to cancun for a weeks vacation, as we were trying to find our room on the resort I heard that oh-so-noticeable CHIRP coming from a stairway.

Tickled my pickle because I couldn't hear it from our room, but made me laugh as multiple times going down that stairwell and coming across someone from hotel staff (house keeping, wait staff, maintenance etc) nearby I asked them if they were going to change the battery in that cause it had been going off for multiple days.

All of them said the same thing, basically "Oh no senor, that is from the birds who nest up there". If I pulled out a stop watch and showed them it went off every 60 seconds on the spot, they probably would have looked at me like I was some sort of wizard.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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I just went to the Christmas Eve service with my kid. Her first time going to church, and I haven't been in....I don't even know how long. Lots of raised hands and "Amen!" going around, but I liked the pastor and my daughter really liked the youth group. She was very confused about who's birthday it was though.

Swarms of gorgeous women there, too. Apparently that's where they all hide.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
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I just went to the Christmas Eve service with my kid. Her first time going to church, and I haven't been in....I don't even know how long. Lots of raised hands and "Amen!" going around, but I liked the pastor and my daughter really liked the youth group. She was very confused about who's birthday it was though.

Swarms of gorgeous women there, too. Apparently that's where they all hide.

"And my daughter really liked the youth group."

Dude, that is a deal breaker. Keep bringing her to that church if you're comfortable with what's being preached. She'll build a community, and that's so valuable.

Also, good for you for taking the step of bringing her to church. Outside of your regular routine, but you thought it would be good for her. That's good parenting. Take a bow.
 

Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Getting her around other kids as much as possible is the entire reason I went. It's a small town and there's not much to do on Sundays, other than hanging out with other friends with kids. Most of my friends are cops or firefighters though, so they're usually working on Sundays.

I'm pissed they didn't have snacks though. Last time I went to church, they always served us grape juice and croutons halfway through. This one didn't have any snacks at all.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
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Getting her around other kids as much as possible is the entire reason I went. It's a small town and there's not much to do on Sundays, other than hanging out with other friends with kids. Most of my friends are cops or firefighters though, so they're usually working on Sundays.

I'm pissed they didn't have snacks though. Last time I went to church, they always served us grape juice and croutons halfway through. This one didn't have any snacks at all.

Stick in there. There will be donuts and pizza at some point.
 

Izo

Tranny Chaser
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Getting her around other kids as much as possible is the entire reason I went. It's a small town and there's not much to do on Sundays, other than hanging out with other friends with kids. Most of my friends are cops or firefighters though, so they're usually working on Sundays.

I'm pissed they didn't have snacks though. Last time I went to church, they always served us grape juice and croutons halfway through. This one didn't have any snacks at all.
 
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Izo

Tranny Chaser
18,527
21,383
Took my family to cancun for a weeks vacation, as we were trying to find our room on the resort I heard that oh-so-noticeable CHIRP coming from a stairway.

Tickled my pickle because I couldn't hear it from our room, but made me laugh as multiple times going down that stairwell and coming across someone from hotel staff (house keeping, wait staff, maintenance etc) nearby I asked them if they were going to change the battery in that cause it had been going off for multiple days.

All of them said the same thing, basically "Oh no senor, that is from the birds who nest up there". If I pulled out a stop watch and showed them it went off every 60 seconds on the spot, they probably would have looked at me like I was some sort of wizard.
Changed the smoke detectors batteries in the living room thinking of all the memes on the 23rd. Izo-smugface.jpg. Woke up eurocuck xmas morning 24th 6am by a loud beeping from the tech cabinet in the bathroom. Mofo moisture detector next to the floor heating control station was out of battery, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU.jpg.
 

sleevedraw

Revolver Ocelot
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Spouse filled out N-400 today. With any luck, we'll never need to deal with USCIS again in about 1 year.
 
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Bandwagon

Kolohe
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Sometimes I worry I'm either raising a prophet or the antichrist, both equally terrifying.

"have you ever readen the death story?"

"No, what's the death story?"

"There isn't a death story. It's not real. Just death, no story".

"Where did you hear that?"

"Nowhere. What's a demigod, like Maui in the Moanna movie?"

Edit: she's on another fucking level today. Just laughed hysterically for 30 minutes straight, for no reason. I think she's possessed.
 
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