What tickles your pickle

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scientia potentia est
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One of the hockey teams I coach has a couple girls on it. High school age. They're small and light. To some assholes this paints a target on their back. Last night a player on the opposing team decided he was going to try to make them not want to play hockey any more. He lit up the girls on every shift. After they played the puck, behind the refs, every single opportunity. I tried to put the girls out when he wasn't on the ice, but he always managed to get out there when the girls were out. Our team captain, who is captain for a reason, asked for a time out, got everyone together, told them this guy was targeting the girls, and said "if you're on the ice, take care of it."

Well, every single one of my players took that to heart. Any time this guy took a shift on the ice he got absolutely lit up. All legal, but any time he touched the puck he got instantly nailed. Hard. Over and over. By the end of the second period the coach just kept him on the bench. He didn't play third period at all.

And here's the best part. The opposing coach found me after the game. He said this kid has been a problem for a long time, I asked him why he continued to play the kid, he said the kid's parents paid the hockey fees of the whole team. That's nearly 100,000$. Totally bought their son's participation. The kid is a good player, but a spoiled brat asshole. I asked the coach if I could do anything, but he said no. This little shit was going to dress for every game, but sit on the bench 100% of the time. He also said he's going to share all of this with all the coaches. This kid will never see another minute of play time in high school.

So, let's recap. Asshole kid picking on smaller players with a habit of doing that. The players rally around the girls, beat the crap out of the guy in a way that is acceptable in this sport. The coach acknowledged what was going on, and is benching the player.

This is the way it should happen to spoiled little fucking brats.
While I applaud the "handle it yourself" nature of this story and think everything worked out just fine, there should be rules that allow the refs to stop this type of intimidation and abuse. If it's something that is "clearly out of bounds" to the point that you need to get people on your team to handle it, then rules should be changed to stop what they had to handle in the first place.

If every player on the team can see it and the refs can't, thats a ref issue. Good job protecting your kids.
 

lurkingdirk

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While I applaud the "handle it yourself" nature of this story and think everything worked out just fine, there should be rules that allow the refs to stop this type of intimidation and abuse. If it's something that is "clearly out of bounds" to the point that you need to get people on your team to handle it, then rules should be changed to stop what they had to handle in the first place.

If every player on the team can see it and the refs can't, thats a ref issue. Good job protecting your kids.

I appreciate your sentiment, but there's a lot of ice, and the refs can't see it all. The refs try pretty hard, but they have to follow the puck, and if you're 100 feet in the other direction it can be hard. Hockey players are known for having their heads up and knowing where people are on the ice. That includes the refs.
 

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scientia potentia est
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I appreciate your sentiment, but there's a lot of ice, and the refs can't see it all. The refs try pretty hard, but they have to follow the puck, and if you're 100 feet in the other direction it can be hard. Hockey players are known for having their heads up and knowing where people are on the ice. That includes the refs.
I don't understand how you and the other coach and all of your players could see it clear as day but the refs can't, but then again I don't play hockey. Hard checking and fights seem to be part of the culture of hockey, are you sure the refs weren't well aware and just thought its part of the game?
 

lurkingdirk

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I don't understand how you and the other coach and all of your players could see it clear as day but the refs can't, but then again I don't play hockey. Hard checking and fights seem to be part of the culture of hockey, are you sure the refs weren't well aware and just thought its part of the game?

Refs weren't aware. To be honest, when this sort of shit starts happening, I, as coach, tend to start watching behind the play. The other players who are behind the play see it, and communicate it to their team mates. This is also part of the culture of hockey, and it can be bad (as in this case) or good. It can be good to get players to stop harassing someone by getting a punch in the head with gloves on (doesn't hurt) and being told to smarten up. Players clean up a lot of shitty activity this way. The refs knows this happens, but they're not watching. That's the job of the coaches - we keep it under control.

Hockey is a wicked fast game, and the refs work pretty hard. These were good refs, people I know (and the other coach knows, too), and they were relying on us to keep the behind the play shit under control.
 
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Kolohe
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lurker

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Took a trip down to Promontory Point, Utah to see the Golden Spike National Historic Monument and watch them run the trains.

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Government shutdown 2 days later. Timing is everything.
 
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Denamian

Night Janitor
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Doing a job for a vet office, the host machine for their records system needs replacing. Setting up the new hardware is simple, but I don't know this software at all, a local IT company set it all up almost a decade ago. I have to do something I hate: call the support line and try to get answers about how to do this.

Shockingly, I speak to Americans who speak intelligible English and quickly figure out what I'm trying to do and how to get the ball rolling on it. They remote in, take a look at the current configuration, ask me about the new hardware and tell me they'll send everything to the guy who specializes in this. I'm told it could be up to 2 weeks for them to contact me to set a date for the migration and that process can be a 2 day affair.

I get a call a few hours later, talk to the specialist and we schedule for next week. He also says we should be able to get it one in a single day since it's a small setup. Fucking competent support, hot damn.

I also got to hang out with a dog that had an eye removed while I was there and was loopy as fuck from the drugs.
 
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Siliconemelons

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Doing a job for a vet office, the host machine for their records system needs replacing. Setting up the new hardware is simple, but I don't know this software at all, a local IT company set it all up almost a decade ago. I have to do something I hate: call the support line and try to get answers about how to do this.

Shockingly, I speak to Americans who speak intelligible English and quickly figure out what I'm trying to do and how to get the ball rolling on it. They remote in, take a look at the current configuration, ask me about the new hardware and tell me they'll send everything to the guy who specializes in this. I'm told it could be up to 2 weeks for them to contact me to set a date for the migration and that process can be a 2 day affair.

I get a call a few hours later, talk to the specialist and we schedule for next week. He also says we should be able to get it one in a single day since it's a small setup. Fucking competent support, hot damn.

I also got to hang out with a dog that had an eye removed while I was there and was loopy as fuck from the drugs.

It is NOT eClinicalWorks then lol ;-)
 

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Kolohe
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Took the kids to the pumpkin patch yesterday. When I was standing at the top of the slide with my 7yo and my 6mos strapped to my chest, some little girl turned around and said "cute baby. You seem like a really good dad". Then she spun around and went down the slide. I was just standing up there dumbfounded and dopey. Compliments are so much better from kids.

When i got to the bottom, my wife said "what did that little girl say?" I told her, and then she said "awww. I'm surprised you didn't cry like a little baby".

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Kolohe
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The Floaty Vortex Cluster is a pesky ocular phenomenon in the constellation of Grumpy Gaze, roughly 2 inches from my eyeball. This photo is composed of 50 - 12-second squints for a total of just over 10 minutes of squints. It was processed using FloatyFilter, SaltedStare++, and BitterBlur, all of which are free. The images were captured with my trusty RageLens 2000.

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Kajiimagi

<Aristocrat╭ರ_•́>
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The Floaty Vortex Cluster is a pesky ocular phenomenon in the constellation of Grumpy Gaze, roughly 2 inches from my eyeball. This photo is composed of 50 - 12-second squints for a total of just over 10 minutes of squints. It was processed using FloatyFilter, SaltedStare++, and BitterBlur, all of which are free. The images were captured with my trusty RageLens 2000.

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SO you are going on ignore after this but genuinely go fuck yourself. You are exactly the millennial fuck stick that annoys everyone.
 
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lurkingdirk

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My son got a major penalty in his hockey game on Saturday. I know that doesn't sound like something to be chuffed about, but there is good reason. He's little, but he's so damned feisty. A player on the other team snowed our goalie (hockey stop, spraying snow into the goalies face while the goalie is down holding a puck. Totally unnecessary, totally done to piss the goalie off) and then stood in front of the goalie looking down, being a cocky bitch. He was about 6" taller than my son, and my son was just right behind the play, and my son saw what he did, and he came in like a fucking wrecking ball. He took this guy down. Like really took him down. 6" taller, probably 50 pounds heavier, my son just creamed him, full speed, and pushed him right over our goalie and into the net. It was a late hit. It wasn't from behind. The second he had nailed the guy (my son didn't fall, the other guy went flying) my son kneeled down on the ice and was helping the goalie clean the snow off his face. He got so much respect from the rest of the players, it didn't matter he had to serve a five minute penalty. He was looking out for his teammate.

I'm not one to condone senseless violence in hockey. Not even a little. But this was a good decision on my son's part. He's team captain, and he sent a message loud and clear to the rest of the team. The other team was getting pretty violent, they were loosing by 3, and were doing all kinds of out of control trash talk, and my son talked to his team and said take your lead from me. Don't fight, don't take stupid penalties, but don't let them get away with murder. After my son made this check the game cleaned up substantially. And to top it all off, my son scored on his first shift after the penalty. He's defense, doesn't score all that often, but he skated coast to coast, beat everyone, and went bar-down for a goal. He did not snow the goalie after his goal. He showed respect. The dude who got checked into the net got the respect he deserved.

I love watching my kids make decisions like this.
 
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Kajiimagi

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I can't even begin to tell you how satisfying this has been. You are comically sensitive about your hobby.
True. I apologize. I'm taking this personally and I am not normally like this. Feel free to add this to the out of context quotes. You are not worth the effort to be mad about.
 

Fucker

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That's right. I'm gutter trash. I'm a bloated opossum on the proverbial highway. Flog me harder, telescope daddy.
What's a proverbial highway?

Proverbs of the Way 3:7

“Set thy feet upon the highway of wisdom;
turn not aside for glittering bypaths.
For the broad road hastens to dust and echo,
but the straight way—kept in patience—leads unto peace.”

Even worse, if you don't change your ways, you could end up on an adverbial highway...perhaps as an old, burned out male prostitute squatting in an abandoned Shell gas station from the 1950's. The Halfway Highway could very well be were you breathe your last breath.

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