Whats rustling your jimmies?

Black people, there I said it.

The "clitoris". I can never seem to find it.

Dumb names for things. USB OTG cables. Aren't they all OTG? It's not like regular USB cables are 50 feet of garden hose or anything.

The endless line item charges, i.e. all the taxes + fees added after your cell phone bill, airline tickets. etc. fuck you include it in the price when you quote it, not after the damn fact.

When at a water park on the tube slides with a tunnel and the guy in front of me won't blow me while going through the tunnel.

Fat women in the club don't bother me, but the chodemeisters who socially validate them instead of shame them really rustle my jimmies.

1TB Solid state drives still being $2500+

Fat women feminists advocating fat/body acceptance really rustle my jimmies. You'll never be anything except a hideous monstrosity of blubbery flesh and misandry. Yes, gluttonous lard bucket, you'll ensnare sufficient obsequious, sunken chested males who'll be beholden to your whims on the off chance you may spread the sacred birth canal. However, this does not mean the entire male population gazes upon you with rapturous glances of lust. To the contrary, I snivel with contempt. You are the reason why the United States is fucked. You should be shamed. Shamed until you either lose the weight or kill yourself with obesity. Furthermore, your cultural lens of feminism (whereas, I speak not of the rare, feminism concerned with humanistic virtue, but the one advocating that men should-pee-sitting-down-too) induces virilization of the female's persona. There's a good reason why there are few feminists over 6's, their attitudes are god ugly and osmium level dense. It's not very attractive if you're a socal 10 and want to party at cocaine rape castles in the Hills.

Worst of all are the god damn male feminist apologetics. I feel nothing but pity for these specimens. They've completely cast their male gender into the Abyss, hoping that some fat broad sees them as a knight in milquetoast armor. God damn. How the fucking fuck do you manage to self-castrate yourself with an ideology? Domineering mother and a father with a back as hard egg shells?

My jimmies went through some extreme rustle-ige this week because of the hotel I was staying at. The shower water would randomly get hotter or colder at any given moment. I'd have it at a nice hot temperature and then all of a sudden my back would be on fire. I'd turn it down some to the same nice hot temperature and then my back would be ice.

Consider my jimmies rustled.

People who use their facebook as a platform for self-promotion. It's always the humble brag type of shit. You were a cool dude 6 years ago when we were freshman, thanks for beating off the Whale while I made out with the chick from Art History class/I fucking tripped balls with you as a stranger and we both discovered we <3'd EverQuest as 13 year olds. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR BAR 600 MILES AWAY/YOUR BAND/YOUR DEEEJAAAAYYY GIGS.

Furthermore, humble braggers. Like you want the social validation of bragging but don't want to come across as a douche, so you hedge your bets? You fucking cunty cuntsauraus rex. Worst of all, you do it in semi-yuppie social settings where I have to socially validate your chodetastic arsecunt (when I just want to bring the fucking Hammer down on your ass, especially after drink #4) because I like the off-chance I might bang the hostess chick who works in another department. Honestly though, you're the lowest of the low. You're the faggot who tries to hit on women but won't put enough of himself out there to be rejected by her. Quit being a bitch, be like dude, "I DRIVE AN AUDI! IT'S THE FUCKING SHIIIITTTT!!! THE SHIIITT!!! I LOOK BOSS!" I'd respect you more. You're a rich douche who is okay with being a rich douche. So what if your dad bought it? It's still fucking fun to beat ricer fuckers off the line at a stop light. But noooo you'll talk about safety features since your fiance wants children. My eye quivers. Eat a bag of dicks.

Gun control.

Tummysticks_sl said:

Gun control.

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I'm just curious...what part of the subject starts the rustling ? Is it the issue, the way people react, the shitstorm the media has made? etc. Could you elaborate a little more on your jimmy-distress?

Wife goes on Period. Refuses give blowjob. WTF? She's not bleeding from her mouth.

Xeldar. I like you. Can we be friends?

People who use God as an excuse for their own laziness or incompetence, because they know you can't come up with any rebuttal that doesn't make you look like an anti-theist.

"It's in God's hands now."
"It wasn't God's will that this would get there in time."
"God willing, I'll finish this by 5 PM."

Xequecal_sl said:

People who use God as an excuse for their own laziness or incompetence, because they know you can't come up with any rebuttal that doesn't make you look like an anti-theist.

"It's in God's hands now."
"It wasn't God's will that this would get there in time."
"God willing, I'll finish this by 5 PM."

Click to expand...

+1

Reading this thread and finding that my jimmies are more rustled than ever.