Whats rustling your jimmies?

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
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Since we're (back) on the topic of shits...

It really rustles my jimmies when you feel like you need to take a massive, satisfying, solid shit, but when you do the deed it's like a champagne cork popped and you just get big bursts of liquid. Not only is it messy when the shit-liquid splashes up onto your ass and balls, but it's disappointing losing out on the incredibley satsifying feeling of passing a huge, solid deuce.

On the other hand, it's great when you get a clean shit and you wipe and there's nothing on the toilet paper because it came out so perfectly. That's the opposite of rustled jimmies, whatever that is.
 

khalid

Unelected Mod
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People that buy scratchoffs at the gas station, then scratch them off without moving out of the way, then ordering more.
 

P8P_sl

shitlord
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People that buy scratchoffs at the gas station, then scratch them off without moving out of the way, then ordering more.
those are called gambling addicts...,...,...when i was delivering beer some years ago, i was amazed (at first) of how many times i would run into some older woman at a liquor store who would buy about 100 dollars worth of 1 or 2 dollar scratch offs, go to their car, scratch for a half hour, go back in, exchange their winnings? for more tickets and continue...

but speaking of holding up the line...

a few months ago, i needed new shoes...there were no other customers anywhere near me and i finally found a pair that i liked and they fit! (bonus)...went to the register to buy them and some woman customer popped in right before i got there. she ended up wanting to order a certain shirt or skirt or whatever the fuck it was, taking 15 god damn minutes to discuss with the clerk the same ordeal 20 times over again to make sure she was going to get her fucking shirt by a certain time...i just wanted to buy my fucking shoes,...,...she ended up saying "forget it"...jimmies rustled...
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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You would have been justified in running her down in the parking lot afterwards.
 

Ichu

Molten Core Raider
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Unnecessary LED lights. My headphones are plugged in, I know. I don't need 2 giant LED lights to tell me that. Yes, I know the HDMI is plugged into the back of the TV. I don't need a giant blue LED that lights up half the wall behind the TV. The couch's recline is controlled by a remote. It's attached to the fucking seat, why does it need 2 giant LED's?

Also;

 

P8P_sl

shitlord
604
8
earworms...when a song or tune gets stuck in your head and you can't get it out...it wouldn't be bad if it was something good...but it's always something horrible...and in my latest case, associated with disgustingness...

my latest one...been rustling my jimmies for about a fucking month now...

 

P8P_sl

shitlord
604
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Random use of ellipses in posts rustles my jimmies.
rrr_img_19843.jpg
...they aren't random
 

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk
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I guess by "random" I meant "incorrect"

And yes, my jimmies are rustled, as per the point of this thread.
 

Void

Experiencer
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Random use of ellipses in posts rustles my jimmies.
Fuck, there is this lady I have to email periodically for work for factory quotes on materials, and her messages are almost always something like this:

"Here you go [me]...good luck..."

It always makes me fucking rage, because the way I read that in my head is that she's just trailing off, like she wants to say more but won't, or she's being sarcastic, like she doesn't really think I stand a chance in hell of getting the job. Fucking fuck I hate her!

Along with that, she (and almost everyone else) fails to realize that the proper way to end a sentence with ellipses is with 4 periods, not 3.

Jimmies rustled.
 

P8P_sl

shitlord
604
8
well...unless someone is citing only part of a quote or writing dialog in a novel...i really don't think there is ever a need, or grammatically correct way to use ellipses...other than that though, i think you're dead on...i always do trail off when i type and i never feel my thoughts finished...

with that said, she did probably mean "Here you go [you]...good luck...turd burglar"...but hindsight made her think better of it and she deleted that last part...in a professional setting (or even just a work setting), i feel your rage, as this would give me the impression that i'm working with a bunch of retards...believe it or not, i am actually very grammatically disciplined and critical of others when it comes to life outside of discussion forums...but here, or anywhere else where i type my thoughts, i allow my inner retard to flow...but never full retard...unless i get very drunk.

oblig rustleness:

when you spend a long time on the toilette wiping the very last of it off, pull up your jimmies...and then pull them down again because more is coming...starting the whole entire process over again...
 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
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An older lady who works in administration at the hospital put her self-published book of poetry in my box, and sent me an email about "I put something in your box..." What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? I hate poetry, and I honestly don't care to even read one of the poems in it. So I let it sit out for a couple of days then I put it in someone else's box, and I sent an email back saying "Thank you! I will enjoy it and spread it around!" ... Awkward.
 
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You just need some broetry

http://www.collegehumor.com/article/...try-or-broetry

Bro is My Soul

We got our popped collars, frayed jeans
Tryin' to get between her knees
Oh snap, cocktease.
Looked at me and said
"Bitch, please"

Doesn't matter, got my bros
Always them, before the ho's
Tanned skin from head to toes
Bra got that earring that I chose

Livestrong, Die Weak,
Gel my hair into a peak
Hawt bitches is all I seek
Party tonight, down at TKE

What's your stance on bromance?
Take a chance with my man Lance
Great guy, real bra
Always supports you through it all

Hey man, it's no homo
Don't you know that's how it goes?
Slap my ass and hi-five
We're totally gonna get some tonight

I use Axe, you use Tag
Use too much, make 'em gag
Don't use it? Then you're a fag
Got some PBR's in my bag

MuSigmaNu, all the way
All the haters think we're gay.
We got frosted tips, potato chips;
Cold beer, against our lips.
Chug it down, drink that bitch
Only pussies take a sip.

OH SH*T, big mistake
How many asprins should I take?
F*ck it, dude, own that pain
Grab some girls, let's go get baked
Oh snap! Police outside!
Grab my stash we gotta hide

Daddy's money is all gone
And my head's killing me a ton
Parents so proud of their son
No bitches want in on this fun

Fall asleep on the ground
Eyes closed, sleeping sound
Wake up, drawn on
Giant penises and a smiling sun

Roll over, sleep some more
Really wish I'd gotten a whore
Tomorrow night's gonna rave
Thank God it's only Tuesday