Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
- Start date
Palum
what Suineg set it to
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a c i d.f l y
ಠ_ಠ
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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Our postal carrier. Whenever we get a package too big for the mailbox, that cuntbag leaves them in the worst possible place without being obviously unreasonable. We have a 2 car carport. She will put the boxes at the end of the carport so that they're not protected from the rain or sun. If one car is in the carport and 1 missing (which it is 99% of the time) this bitch will put the package right in the middle of the empty space so when we get home from a long day at work. We have to stop short, move the packages out of the way, then get back in and finish parking. My wife ran over her shit one time because it was a couple of small boxes. At least with the big boxes they are very visible.
Fed Ex and UPS guys have no problem. They either leave stuff at the front door, or all the way up against the garage. I have seen the mail woman before when we had a too large for the box package, and she took the opportunity to bitch about the 40 lb bags of dog food we sometimes order. In my head I was thinking, "First off, how the fuck do you know what's in our boxes, and second fuck you I don't have anything to do with who carries the package the final mile". Instead I just asked her to put things up by the garage and she apparently didn't listen. So that's it. fuck this cunt, I'm declaring Jihad on her. I'm going to start shipping myself fucking boxes of bricks. I might pay the extra so a signature is required and she has to bring it up to my door 3 times before it gets returned. I'll set my neighbors as the return address, I'm pretty sure they won't accept the return package. She probably won't even try to deliver it if it requires a signature because "we're never home" (another thing she mentioned ... fucking busybody spying on us)
I wish there was a way to tell them NOT to use USPS. Most of the shit we get is from amazon and they just seem to randomly decide what carrier to use. Last night my wife had ordered 2 boxes of the same thing. 1 box was delivered by USPS and the other by UPS.
Fed Ex and UPS guys have no problem. They either leave stuff at the front door, or all the way up against the garage. I have seen the mail woman before when we had a too large for the box package, and she took the opportunity to bitch about the 40 lb bags of dog food we sometimes order. In my head I was thinking, "First off, how the fuck do you know what's in our boxes, and second fuck you I don't have anything to do with who carries the package the final mile". Instead I just asked her to put things up by the garage and she apparently didn't listen. So that's it. fuck this cunt, I'm declaring Jihad on her. I'm going to start shipping myself fucking boxes of bricks. I might pay the extra so a signature is required and she has to bring it up to my door 3 times before it gets returned. I'll set my neighbors as the return address, I'm pretty sure they won't accept the return package. She probably won't even try to deliver it if it requires a signature because "we're never home" (another thing she mentioned ... fucking busybody spying on us)
I wish there was a way to tell them NOT to use USPS. Most of the shit we get is from amazon and they just seem to randomly decide what carrier to use. Last night my wife had ordered 2 boxes of the same thing. 1 box was delivered by USPS and the other by UPS.
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Siliconemelons
Avatar of War Slayer
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He wait till you get a random "amazon express courier" it will most likely look like some drug addict in the most sketchy car that looks like he going to rape anything that moves and then litterally tosses the box near-ish your doorstep after driving up into your driveway as much as they can!
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Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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I'm thinking of signing up to be one of those couriers. Make a few bucks on weekends where I'm not doing anything else. Why not?
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Tarrant
<Prior Amod>
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Riding passenger while the G/F is driving and having to listen to her grunt and moan every time traffic slows down a few mph because its fucking rush hour. Then finally having heard enough I offer to drive and her insisting shes fine, only to have her start doing it again 5 seconds after she finishes the sentence.
Her: "WHY DO THEY KEEP SLOWING DOWN!"
Me: ".....because there are a lot of cars and if one breaks they all break and the further back you are the longer that break is."
Her: --continues moaning and groaning--
It's fucking rush hour, stfu and drive.
Her: "WHY DO THEY KEEP SLOWING DOWN!"
Me: ".....because there are a lot of cars and if one breaks they all break and the further back you are the longer that break is."
Her: --continues moaning and groaning--
It's fucking rush hour, stfu and drive.
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Koushirou
Log Wizard
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Some gross lady left a giant pile of shit unflushed in one of the stalls this week. In warning the other lady I work with, one of the guys on the team asked if the automatic flusher was broken. Shit, we don't get automatic flushers, but apparently all the men's bathrooms do. Discrimination up in this bitch.
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pharmakos
soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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I hate milkjug dingelberries so much that I wipe the rim of the jug before I pour, every time.
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I'm convinced there are men who complain just as much as women, but we wouldn't hang out with those men past the first time since they are annoying as fuck. We continue hanging out with women who are annoying because they have tits and vagina.
That concept itself rustles my jimmies.
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A5150Ylee
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Zhavric
Molten Core Raider
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I don't mind getting it on with chicks who are overweight. Hell, I kinda think they're cute.
But for fuck's sake, could your vagina/anus area NOT smell like raw feces? Could that... you know... could that be a courtesy you pay me? Like... I get that you get sweaty. I get that your vagina naturally has an odor to it. But there's a difference between "smells like sex" and "smells like you just shit yourself".
You couldn't have done something about it? Maybe said, "I need to freshen up" and gone to the bathroom to try to fix that up?
Fuck dating. Fuck women. I'm just going to buy a fleshlight, get professional massages, and play video games. What the fuck is the point of dating if every time I get your panties off, I want to fucking gag and my dick shrivels up?
But for fuck's sake, could your vagina/anus area NOT smell like raw feces? Could that... you know... could that be a courtesy you pay me? Like... I get that you get sweaty. I get that your vagina naturally has an odor to it. But there's a difference between "smells like sex" and "smells like you just shit yourself".
You couldn't have done something about it? Maybe said, "I need to freshen up" and gone to the bathroom to try to fix that up?
Fuck dating. Fuck women. I'm just going to buy a fleshlight, get professional massages, and play video games. What the fuck is the point of dating if every time I get your panties off, I want to fucking gag and my dick shrivels up?
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Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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