Swagdaddy
There is a war going on over control of your mind
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Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
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TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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http://www.smh.com.au/business/win-f...730-2qxa1.html
Thanks, feminists. Positive discrimination is okay because...uh....equality of outcome. Time to take white people jobs and give it to blacks...to make more room for...equality of outcome!
TrollfaceDeux
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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My grandma has successfully guilt tripped my mom into signing us all up for her family reunion, so now its her turn to lay the guilt on me. Now, some of you may have visions of a backyard barbeque at the well-off relatives mansion with the swimming pool and a keg of good beer and a big party and maybe some hot girls that you have you doing the cousin-math in your head. Well this is the complete opposite of that. No, it's a 6 hour round trip out into the mountains to stand around in a field drinking sweet tea with a bunch of old poor people stuck in the 50's. No alcohol because jesus, funeral music and a bunch of Amish looking old people standing around discussing the medical histories of themselves and everyone they know. These people are hardcore Baptists whose lives revolve around going to church 35 times a week and waiting to die. The most exciting story these people have to tell i the time they went on a church bus trip to every Cracker Barrel in America. Most of the women still have beehive hairdos for fuck's sake. These people live in a town that has died off and there's nothing left but poor old people, poor blacks and a walmart.
You may be thinking, at least there's some good ole country food, right? No. This is poor people farm food. Which means 90% of it is some form of vegetable boiled into a tasteless mush. Mountains of green beans that look like seaweed and taste like they ran out a cow's asshole. A dozen different kinds of dried out brick-hard "casseroles." Ham biscuits of a hundred shapes and sizes, all of which taste like a ball of dry dough. Meatloaf with ketchup, and if you tried to eat it without the ketchup you'd fucking understand why because that dried up rotten shit tastes like something you find dead on the side of a road. Whatever the fuck that red gelatin looking thing is. If you're lucky, you might get your hand on a deviled egg but those go fast. Pray somebody picks up some fried chicken from somewhere, and it isn't that nasty slimy KFC shit.
Sure, my closer relatives have all escaped into the real world, but I already see them a few times a year. There's no reason for us to all to make a day trip to catch up with a bunch of people that have done fucking nothing for the last decade except shuffle between church and the hospital.
Maybe if I take up hard core drugs I can get out of it without having to endure the endless goddamn guilt trip lectures.
You may be thinking, at least there's some good ole country food, right? No. This is poor people farm food. Which means 90% of it is some form of vegetable boiled into a tasteless mush. Mountains of green beans that look like seaweed and taste like they ran out a cow's asshole. A dozen different kinds of dried out brick-hard "casseroles." Ham biscuits of a hundred shapes and sizes, all of which taste like a ball of dry dough. Meatloaf with ketchup, and if you tried to eat it without the ketchup you'd fucking understand why because that dried up rotten shit tastes like something you find dead on the side of a road. Whatever the fuck that red gelatin looking thing is. If you're lucky, you might get your hand on a deviled egg but those go fast. Pray somebody picks up some fried chicken from somewhere, and it isn't that nasty slimy KFC shit.
Sure, my closer relatives have all escaped into the real world, but I already see them a few times a year. There's no reason for us to all to make a day trip to catch up with a bunch of people that have done fucking nothing for the last decade except shuffle between church and the hospital.
Maybe if I take up hard core drugs I can get out of it without having to endure the endless goddamn guilt trip lectures.
Big Phoenix
Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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So dont be a pussy and bring alcohol? Or will grandpappy bend you over his knee and give you a spanking still?
Get out of the car, scream "Hail Satan!", put a finger in the butt of someone that might be your cousin, drop a deuce on the shitty food, uppercut your most hated relative, get back in the car and drive to a titty bar.
Why is this so complicated?!
Hoss
Make America's Team Great Again
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This is what i'd do. Keep the bottle in the car and spike your sweet tea. Also, since they're baptist, bring some music and start dancing. Or better yet, bring a guitar and claim to be a musician and play it. Even better if you can't actually play anything, it won't matter to them.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Nothing you fucking hillbilly. Go eat your meatloaf with ketchup and drink your sweet tea and listen to some Toby Keith and play horseshoes in your bare feet.
Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Void
Experiencer
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Not to derail the hillbilly debate, but one thing that I realized rustles my jimmies a lot is that every single fucking person I work with says "just" instead of "gist." As in, "the just of what I'm trying to say is such and such."
I've mentioned the correct term a few times, but after awhile there's no point. You'd think that term wouldn't come up very often though, right? Apparently it does, enough to endlessly rustle my jimmies.
I suppose I should expect it, since almost everyone says things like, "I seen that" too.
I've mentioned the correct term a few times, but after awhile there's no point. You'd think that term wouldn't come up very often though, right? Apparently it does, enough to endlessly rustle my jimmies.
I suppose I should expect it, since almost everyone says things like, "I seen that" too.
Gravy
Bronze Squire
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Famm
Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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