Well played, sir. Well played...What rustles my jimmies? The gaggles of young "free thinker" dildos. Usually of C-level high school education, they're usually found on college campuses wielding giant signs that proclaim the US government as the sole operator behind the 9/11 attacks. They're quick to tell me to wake up and throw around such warming terms such as "sheeple" and "enlightened".
They're usually the first assholes to spam Facebook with links about Robin Williams and Bill Cosby being opinionated old cocks without spending the 30 seconds on Google to verify the integrity of the post.
Little assholes need to suck-start a rifle and do us all a solid.
Whats rustling your jimmies?
- Thread starter Big Phoenix
- Start date
Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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Co-worker who looks over my shoulder from 30 feet away and questions me about tabbing over to cnn/rerolled (during the height of the boston bomber stuff) when:
a) she's not my boss
b) she was just on a personal call for half an hour
c) I had shit running in the background in software that can't multi-task
d) I don't smoke
e) there isn't enough work to get me the hours I'm supposed to be getting and I've never failed to get everything done in less than the allotted time (aka I'm fucking myself by not slow-walking as it is)
f) nobody likes her
g) I have another job within the company where I am in fact expected to look around the web for bullshit. Granted, that wasn't what I was doing, but fuck you for questioning it.
h) the unwritten code of Office Peons everywhere: Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Do you think standing around talking about Obamer buying up all the ammo so citizens can't buy any is company fucking business? Should I cut in every time you start in with that horseshit and ask you what you are working on?
/not all that rustled because I'm well aware of F. But I'm sure my boss will have to ask me about it and I won't be a dick and point out how I've gone from 20 hours to 12 without complaint.
a) she's not my boss
b) she was just on a personal call for half an hour
c) I had shit running in the background in software that can't multi-task
d) I don't smoke
e) there isn't enough work to get me the hours I'm supposed to be getting and I've never failed to get everything done in less than the allotted time (aka I'm fucking myself by not slow-walking as it is)
f) nobody likes her
g) I have another job within the company where I am in fact expected to look around the web for bullshit. Granted, that wasn't what I was doing, but fuck you for questioning it.
h) the unwritten code of Office Peons everywhere: Mind Your Own Fucking Business. Do you think standing around talking about Obamer buying up all the ammo so citizens can't buy any is company fucking business? Should I cut in every time you start in with that horseshit and ask you what you are working on?
/not all that rustled because I'm well aware of F. But I'm sure my boss will have to ask me about it and I won't be a dick and point out how I've gone from 20 hours to 12 without complaint.
Palum
what Suineg set it to
- 23,616
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Some people are baffled that I let my employees listen to Pandora or whatever, take breaks when they need it, let them take PTO whenever and just go out for coffee and shit with them randomly. Of course, I produce results which constantly baffle my peers and the executives, so I get away with anything not against HR policy. Shocking how being a clock Nazi doesn't increase productivity.
I severely rustled the jimmies of a middle manager lately when he 'caught' my employee with a sports ticker open and I asked what the score was instead of reprimanding the kid.
I severely rustled the jimmies of a middle manager lately when he 'caught' my employee with a sports ticker open and I asked what the score was instead of reprimanding the kid.
Gas stations that don't have straws that are long enough for their larger coffee sizes. Fuck your shitty store and fuck Korea.
Evernothing
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Porkchop
Mr. Poopybutthole
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You hiring? You just described the exact opposite of my boss. The last time my boss saw me browsing through slashdot I got a "Oh, sales are down and we have time for surfing?".
Well not coffee coffee, like that espresso or whatever. WHITE CHOCOLATE CARAMEL BITCHES.
Evernothing
Bronze Baronet of the Realm
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Kreugen
Vyemm Raider
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- 793
Just typing this is going to cause maximum rustle for me but I have to get it out.
My best friend of over 30 years, that I used to hang out with weekly, is absolutely obsessed with Call of Duty on xbox. For the last two years his ONLY topic of conversation has been call of duty, then battlefield 3, and now back to call of duty again.
This 35 year old man spends hours a day sitting in front of a TV SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER and somehow can't get enough of it. It doesn't matter how well the match is going, within seconds of starting a match he is red faced with rage and yelling so much that spit is flying out of his mouth. He's smashed countless controllers.
Whenever we go anywhere, the only thing he talks about is COD. If he's not talking about COD, he's on his smartphone IMing his xbro about COD, or showing me stats or videos of COD. Whenever I get a IM, odds are its another goddamn COD video or blah blah blah holy shit man I don't care anymore. Changing the subject is like stopping the goddamn tide by holding out your hands and pushing.
Sure, I played some BF3 and I have 30 hours or so in BO2. Thankfully I play on PC, right? Except BF3 tracks your stats online for all to see and holy shit he knew all my stats better than I did and WOULD NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM. Mostly its, "dude anyone who plays with a mouse and keyboard and doesn't have 90% accuracy with a 10:1 k/d just fucking sucks and should quit. I'd get 200 kills every game without dying if I played on PC." The fact that everyone on PC was playing with a mouse would not register because "dude everyone on pc sucks"
It got to where when I try to play BF3 or COD, I can hear his goddamn voice in my head mocking everything do and I can't enjoy it any more. It's like that goddamn rerolled IRC channel where they blab about Blood Bowl 23 hours a day except I'm out at a bar somewhere and can't escape it. Christ, I'm happy he brings his GF along so I can have someone to talk to except all SHE talks about is how fucking sick she is of him and her son sitting side by side screaming at the TV. I hardly ever hang out with the guy anymore because why fucking bother.
My best friend of over 30 years, that I used to hang out with weekly, is absolutely obsessed with Call of Duty on xbox. For the last two years his ONLY topic of conversation has been call of duty, then battlefield 3, and now back to call of duty again.
This 35 year old man spends hours a day sitting in front of a TV SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER and somehow can't get enough of it. It doesn't matter how well the match is going, within seconds of starting a match he is red faced with rage and yelling so much that spit is flying out of his mouth. He's smashed countless controllers.
Whenever we go anywhere, the only thing he talks about is COD. If he's not talking about COD, he's on his smartphone IMing his xbro about COD, or showing me stats or videos of COD. Whenever I get a IM, odds are its another goddamn COD video or blah blah blah holy shit man I don't care anymore. Changing the subject is like stopping the goddamn tide by holding out your hands and pushing.
Sure, I played some BF3 and I have 30 hours or so in BO2. Thankfully I play on PC, right? Except BF3 tracks your stats online for all to see and holy shit he knew all my stats better than I did and WOULD NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT THEM. Mostly its, "dude anyone who plays with a mouse and keyboard and doesn't have 90% accuracy with a 10:1 k/d just fucking sucks and should quit. I'd get 200 kills every game without dying if I played on PC." The fact that everyone on PC was playing with a mouse would not register because "dude everyone on pc sucks"
It got to where when I try to play BF3 or COD, I can hear his goddamn voice in my head mocking everything do and I can't enjoy it any more. It's like that goddamn rerolled IRC channel where they blab about Blood Bowl 23 hours a day except I'm out at a bar somewhere and can't escape it. Christ, I'm happy he brings his GF along so I can have someone to talk to except all SHE talks about is how fucking sick she is of him and her son sitting side by side screaming at the TV. I hardly ever hang out with the guy anymore because why fucking bother.
nuday
Golden Squire
- 203
- 8
Call of Duty, Battlefield, all that shit really rustles my jimmies. I want my fucking story-driven RPGs back because I have a vagina.
Jx3
Riddle me this...
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- 173
Just tell him Halo is a far better game watch his head explode. Walk away movie style and never look back.
Itlan
Blackwing Lair Raider
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I was on I-80 tonight and some dude was doing 70 in a 55, and the guy behind him REALLY wanted to go faster, so he keeps flashing his fucking headlights for a good minute before the dude finally gave up and let him pass.
Not that it rustles my jimmies, mainly because it wasn't me getting flashed at. But if I was getting high beamed, I'd just fucking break and do 45, and hopefully see him losing his shit behind me.
Not that it rustles my jimmies, mainly because it wasn't me getting flashed at. But if I was getting high beamed, I'd just fucking break and do 45, and hopefully see him losing his shit behind me.
So much this.
I tend to take mostly highways or expressways, but during rush hour so many cocksuckers don't understand that the middle and the right lanes aren't there for the millenium falcon in hyperspace.
But they act like everyone else should acknowledge that there stupid ass can't wake up on time and go fast enough for them to keep swerving in and out of lanes.