Whats rustling your jimmies?

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Some cock sucking faggot parasite stole two packages off of my porch. One was a fucking oil filter I was gonna change my oil with today and the other was a fucking battery trickle charger. Fucking $40 worth of shit they swiped. Really fucking annoying is my security camera was unplugged so I dont get to see who exactly took it.

You cant even see my fucking front door from the road/sidewalk either, whoever took this had to come up to my door first to see there was something on my porch to take. A little suspicious of whoever delivered it, as there was clearly two people in their delivery confirmation picture and this is the first time in 8 years ive lived here anything has been stolen.
 
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Aldarion

Egg Nazi
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I assume this might be a Pacifica based on the behavior you're describing.

You should be able to modify most of these settings in the Uconnect infotainment system.

Here's for 3:


Here's for 2 and 4:


For 1, there isn't a way to tie it to shift position, but the should unlock automatically if you're in park and open from the inside if you have this setting turned on (auto unlock on exit):


Be sure to complain about these things if you get a quality survey. That's how a lot of stuff ends up the way it does - people complained on surveys. For some of this shit they get binned as a defect that essentially has the same weight as something actually serious like an engine no-start, so, they end up getting a lot of attention.
I sincerely appreciate the attempt to help.

But that car is 20 years newer than any car Ive ever driven, and the wrong model. Chrysler town and country.

The day I get in a car with something called a "Uconnect infotainment system" I'm gonna get right the fuck back out. I hate this gay earth. Why not just a fucking button you can push?
 
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Deathwing

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I can't wait for Aldarion to encounter a car that requires 2FA to operate. Those cars for drunks that require a clean breathalyzer to turn on are a rudimentary version.
 
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Palum

what Suineg set it to
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I can't wait for Aldarion to encounter a car that requires 2FA to operate. Those cars for drunks that require a clean breathalyzer to turn on are a rudimentary version.
Isn't this already a bill that's going to pass or a law already requiring 'anti drunk driving' in every new vehicle?
 

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
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If they passed it today I'd have 20 years before it would affect me. Maybe I'll get lucky and die before then!
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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I sincerely appreciate the attempt to help.

But that car is 20 years newer than any car Ive ever driven, and the wrong model. Chrysler town and country.

The day I get in a car with something called a "Uconnect infotainment system" I'm gonna get right the fuck back out. I hate this gay earth. Why not just a fucking button you can push?
On the T&C its called the EVIC. Electronic Vehicle Information Center. If you have one you can check the manual and it will tell you how to fix those settings yourself. If you don't, you can go to the dealership or anyone with the scan tool and have them set things how you want them.

I think the EVIC looks something like this.

637325001160801186.jpg
 

Siliconemelons

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I have a Pacifica and if it has too many things that are NOT buttons… then… like don’t get near a EV… lol the Pacifica still has all real buttons for everything… now my Mach-e gtfo of here dumb thing

and all vans do all that. BEEP BEEP BEEP RHE BACK DOOR IS CLOSING OMG IS THER A KID WITHIN 50 MILES? BEEP BEEP FLASH FLASH
 
  • 1Worf
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lgarthy

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The name of every Amazon.com customer service associate who I have ever chatted with online.
 
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RobXIII

Urinal Cake Consumption King
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I bought a Ryobi air compressor on Amazon. It was exactly the same price as Home Depot, so all I was 'gaining' was I didn't have to go TO Home Depot. Today the thing shows up. Right on top, where you can see it pain as day is a sticker 'Factory Blemished'. !? I looked at the seller and no where is that mentioned. I don't see any blemishes but I'm seriously considering sending it back for that bait and switch bullshit.

I had this happen to a gaming monitor way back on Black CyberMonday or whatever they're calling it. 50% off, I checked the listing 5x top to bottom, no mention of any used or refurbished, and like you my first clue came from the sticker saying THANKS FOR GIVING THIS AMAZON ITEM A SECOND CHANCE.

The back of the white plastic monitor looked like people played ice hockey on it, and the monitor itself had 2 giant oil shaped stains you could see clear as day when on a white page, somehow between the panes of glass. It was unusable, fuck them I'm glad they ate shipping fees on that, and will continue to do so as no one in their right mind would accept this thing.
 

Kajiimagi

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I had this happen to a gaming monitor way back on Black CyberMonday or whatever they're calling it. 50% off, I checked the listing 5x top to bottom, no mention of any used or refurbished, and like you my first clue came from the sticker saying THANKS FOR GIVING THIS AMAZON ITEM A SECOND CHANCE.

The back of the white plastic monitor looked like people played ice hockey on it, and the monitor itself had 2 giant oil shaped stains you could see clear as day when on a white page, somehow between the panes of glass. It was unusable, fuck them I'm glad they ate shipping fees on that, and will continue to do so as no one in their right mind would accept this thing.
I may have let it go if it was cheaper on Amazon but it was the exact same price. Now thanks to uncle sam needing all the money in the world to fight proxy wars you have to pay tax on Amazon items as well so the cost was 100% the same. The unit they sent didn't have any blemishes, it was the principal. Anyhow it's over, I sent it back at their cost, got 100% refunded and went to HD the next morning and bought the same unit for the same price.

Another thing I noticed today, they have Wyze pan / tilt cameras for $33.99 for 1, but a 2 pack is $74?? WTF. I bought 3 singles cuz fuck them that's why.
 
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Big Phoenix

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Get back from a walk and notice theres two very fresh oil spots on my driveway, one on the side of the driveway I never park my truck on.

iu
 

Cad

<Bronze Donator>
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I sincerely appreciate the attempt to help.

But that car is 20 years newer than any car Ive ever driven, and the wrong model. Chrysler town and country.

The day I get in a car with something called a "Uconnect infotainment system" I'm gonna get right the fuck back out. I hate this gay earth. Why not just a fucking button you can push?
There has never been a more appropriate post to say "okay boomer" to than this. Jesus christ. How do you post on the internet?
 
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