What's your craziest sexual experience thread?

slippery

slippery

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Guurn said:
I put my hands down her pants (yes she was great looking) and literally everything in her pants was soaked.
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My girlfriend in high school was like this. Super wet all the time. The spots she would leave in the bed, absolutely insane. She would practically soak the size of her body, and the spots would dry white so there was a lot going on there. I had no idea it wasn't normal until after the fact, because she's been the only one even remotely likely that.
 
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Noodleface

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Not super crazy but my wife gave me head on the highway. Her brother drove by in a van and saw everything. This was when we were dating and I didn't know the dude.

Probably the craziest was I came home one night from work and all the lights were out. She was in stripper clothes and heels, something she occasionally does. She tells me to fuck her, so I assume somewhere private because the windows were wide open even though it was dark out. She said she wanted me to fuck her in the window so I obliged. It was the dirtiest, raunchiest, most cum sex I've ever had in my life. The thought of my neighbors seeing me fuck my wife in stripper clothes turned me into an animal. No joke, I think it was actually a night we conceived a kid.

Oh, also forgot we rented a cottage in the early fall in a vacation town and were the only people at the place. I fucked her on a second story balcony outside from behind. Then like two minutes later I saw a groundskeeper mowing.
 
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Caeden

Caeden

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my wife has these two ridiculously tight t shirts. Both were souvenirs that never fit. Her go to is one of those, no bra, and super short workout shorts. Cannot resist. Sometimes she tosses in the pigtails but last time she started jumping on our bed during it and then stopped and stared at herself in the mirror and said “I look like a preschooler.” Wasn’t enough to kill the boner but now she feels weird about it. Closest we got to being caught was when she wore that to greet me in a pre-kid era and we fucked in the living room floor. UPS delivered a package. How he didn’t see us, I don’t know. Or maybe he played it cool. We were right in front of the window he walked up to.

Weirdest one she did was on my birthday she dressed up as batgirl with a super short skirt no bra and some batman panties. She had considered Wonder Woman since she has dark hair and blue eyes, but I am a batman fan as far as dc goes. Now she wishes she’d done Wonder Woman. Still weird fucking her with a batgirl mask on.

Not crazy, but I dated a former ballerina that now did kapoeria. She had her entire body, except for eyebrows and head hair, lasered. She’d sometimes oil up with coconut oil and I swear to fucking god I could set the land speed record if I rolled a hot wheel over her mound of Venus
 
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Kirun

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slippery said:
My girlfriend in high school was like this. Super wet all the time. The spots she would leave in the bed, absolutely insane. She would practically soak the size of her body, and the spots would dry white so there was a lot going on there. I had no idea it wasn't normal until after the fact, because she's been the only one even remotely likely that.
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Did she have hyperhidrosis? I dated a girl for a while who had it and would get wet as fuck. It was sorta cool, because I love slippery, nasty sex(love when a girl slobbers all over my dick, for instance). The only downside is that it would often be so bad/wet that you couldn't really feel shit when fucking her due to all the lubrication.
 
slippery

slippery

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Kirun said:
Did she have hyperhidrosis? I dated a girl for a while who had it and would get wet as fuck. It was sorta cool, because I love slippery, nasty sex(love when a girl slobbers all over my dick, for instance). The only downside is that it would often be so bad/wet that you couldn't really feel shit when fucking her due to all the lubrication.
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I have no clue, I haven't talked to her in 15 years.
 
Aychamo BanBan

Aychamo BanBan

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Last week I was in Houston area. Got fucking drunk and horny, looked up different places on USA sex guide. Found these Korean clubs. Went to one I think called Smile. Total shithole in a scary part of south Houston. This like mid to late 40s Korean lady wants me to buy a beer for me, $4, then for her, $12, LOL. Go straight back to the room. I say “I just want a blowjob without a condom”. So she undressed me and sucks me amazingly well and I came in her mouth. She cleans me up and gives some shit massage. I was still horny so ask for a repeat for $20 less than I paid for the first. So she’s doing the kicking my thighs and starts sucking again and playing with my asshole. She tries fingering it but it wasn’t working out well. I came in her mouth again, got cleaned up, and left. By now I’m sobering up and I’m outside and there’s like three Mexicans at some shit taco truck, some black guys roll up, and I realize how vulnerable I am and really have no idea where I am and there’s it a friendly face in sight. I stuck at the food truck window until my Uber arrived. Lol.
 
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Hatorade

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Falxy-US said:
Last week I was in Houston area. Got fucking drunk and horny, looked up different places on USA sex guide. Found these Korean clubs. Went to one I think called Smile. Total shithole in a scary part of south Houston. This like mid to late 40s Korean lady wants me to buy a beer for me, $4, then for her, $12, LOL. Go straight back to the room. I say “I just want a blowjob without a condom”. So she undressed me and sucks me amazingly well and I came in her mouth. She cleans me up and gives some shit massage. I was still horny so ask for a repeat for $20 less than I paid for the first. So she’s doing the kicking my thighs and starts sucking again and playing with my asshole. She tries fingering it but it wasn’t working out well. I came in her mouth again, got cleaned up, and left. By now I’m sobering up and I’m outside and there’s like three Mexicans at some shit taco truck, some black guys roll up, and I realize how vulnerable I am and really have no idea where I am and there’s it a friendly face in sight. I stuck at the food truck window until my Uber arrived. Lol.
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Sex trafficking in Houston is a problem everyone ignores here. There is literally 100's of those places in houston, any "foot massage" or hell massage place in general with shitty ads and blacked out windows is sketchy as fuck.
 
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Aychamo BanBan

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Hatorade said:
Sex trafficking in Houston is a problem everyone ignores here. There is literally 100's of those places in houston, any "foot massage" or hell massage place in general with shitty ads and blacked out windows is sketchy as fuck.
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Honestly why not just regulate it and make it legal like Carson City? Sometimes I just want to pay my $ and get a quick BJ and go on about my night when I’m out of town!
 
Aamry

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Falxy-US said:
Honestly why not just regulate it and make it legal like Carson City? Sometimes I just want to pay my $ and get a quick BJ and go on about my night when I’m out of town!
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Regulate sex trafficking?
 
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Aychamo BanBan

Aychamo BanBan

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Aamry said:
Regulate sex trafficking?
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I admit I know absolutely nothing about sex trafficking. I mean I’ve heard of like young girls who get drugged and forced into it. But there’s also girls that do it voluntarily like the ones in Reno/Carson City NV. And like the old Korean lady that blew me (I sound despicable) I can’t imagine she had much better options for a job that could get her $80 in ten minutes. The Nevada brothels have it somewhat regulated.
 
Hoss

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Falxy-US said:
I admit I know absolutely nothing about sex trafficking. I mean I’ve heard of like young girls who get drugged and forced into it. But there’s also girls that do it voluntarily like the ones in Reno/Carson City NV. And like the old Korean lady that blew me (I sound despicable) I can’t imagine she had much better options for a job that could get her $80 in ten minutes. The Nevada brothels have it somewhat regulated.
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You're talking about legalizing prostitution. All prostitution is not sex trafficking.
 
Johnny53

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Fucking Capri in the adult bookstore and the dude asking for the used/ filled condom ?
Having Wolf shuttle my hooker du jour to my location and cleaning them in preparation and them returning them to there drug spots ?
nah, i will go with
fucking capri before work, fucking deena at lunch, then fucking seimone after work and thne going home to the wife
 
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Aychamo BanBan

Aychamo BanBan

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Johnny53 said:
Fucking Capri in the adult bookstore and the dude asking for the used/ filled condom ?
Having Wolf shuttle my hooker du jour to my location and cleaning them in preparation and them returning them to there drug spots ?
nah, i will go with
fucking capri before work, fucking deena at lunch, then fucking seimone after work and thne going home to the wife
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tell me more about this Capri!
 
J

Jais

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I fucked my then girlfriend in a random reenactor's tent at the 225th anniversary of the Battle of Yorktown.
 
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Khane

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You guys have some really fucking lame sex lives.

"I once paid for a blow job! How crazy is that!"

"I had sex in a tent! OMG"

Nerds.
 
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Izo

Izo

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Khane said:
You guys have some really fucking lame sex lives.

"I once paid for a blow job! How crazy is that!"

"I had sex in a tent! OMG"

Nerds.
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Alright, alright, share your own gay stories then.
 
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