What's your craziest sexual experience thread?

Onoes

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So, uh..how old is her oldest kid?...
I laughed, and then went "Man... no way... but her oldest was totally in high school.. let me just check..." and she's just gone. Not on my friends list, not coming up in a search. No clue if she deleted Facebook, or blocked me? Either way, pretty sure the answer to that is no. I want to say the kids looked very much like the parents, but honestly I can't remember thinking about it ever before this.

If you ever see a thread called "Help, I'm some kids dad and an idiot" in the grown up thread though... lol
 
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Caeden

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I laughed, and then went "Man... no way... but her oldest was totally in high school.. let me just check..." and she's just gone. Not on my friends list, not coming up in a search. No clue if she deleted Facebook, or blocked me? Either way, pretty sure the answer to that is no. I want to say the kids looked very much like the parents, but honestly I can't remember thinking about it ever before this.

If you ever see a thread called "Help, I'm some kids dad and an idiot" in the grown up thread though... lol

Some deja vu for me there.

My first was about 3-4 years older than me. She had severe self esteem problems but meh. Got laid. Anyway, one time when I was maybe 15 or 16....she and I fucked off and on from when I was 14....I “accidentally” creampied her. We were in a busted down VW bug on her parents farm. And I was about to cum and someone I got lodged under the steering wheel and slipped and never got out. She and I found it so hot we went again just then.

Anyway, she got on BC and I did it some more. We stop screwing at 16. I meet the girl that eventually becomes my ex wife. I’m almost 18. Out on a date with my future ex. And there’s this girl my first who I’ll call A. She’s trying to get my attention in a movie theater throwing popcorn. This is a 22 year old girl acting like she’s in middle school. I never see who it is until after. She comes up behind me, yanks my hair like a bitch, screams “I’m pregnant,” then runs away. My ex is wtf’ing. We fight and I calm her tits and we forget about it. Biology don’t let a human have a 12 month+ gestation.

Anyway, about 6 years later and her family is telling people in our small town that her kid is mine. And the kid looks functionally retarded. She manages to get in touch with me and having to explain math and how long it takes to have a kid to this dumb fucking woman and her family is mind numbing. Finally she realizes that it was the guy she started fucking after me. But he’s an illegal alien and cannot provide money. At this point, I’m in an Ivy League engineering program so her family saw dollars. Nothing comes of it and she later gets word via my family to me that the paternity test showed it was the illegal’s kid. Yeah. No shit. Science.

Don’t trust your dick sometimes. She was cute though.
 
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Hoss

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Anyway, about 6 years later and her family is telling people in our small town that her kid is mine. And the kid looks functionally retarded.

So the kid looked just like you? Sounds like you put that ivy league education to good use blaming it on an illegal.
 
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Caeden

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So the kid looked just like you? Sounds like you put that ivy league education to good use blaming it on an illegal.

Hey man, we’re both from Kentucky (I think?). You know how it is.
 
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TheNozz

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photo5172665016107772143.jpg
 
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Xarpolis

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Oh boy.

So, one that always sticks out in my head. There was a girl named Kelly. She was absolutely the most beautiful girl in middle and high school. I had the hugest crush on her, would bring her chocolate and flowers, like a loser, and she would barely talk to me. Somehow years later in college I was in NYC and we met up (with her BF) and caught up. Well, they broke up and she visited home and we got together again. Totally hit it off, fucking, sucking, eating, etc. So I go back up to NYC to see her, and I'm at her place, and I ask her what the dirtiest thing she's ever done is. Now, it's summer, and we have been walking around NYC all day long. So she rolls me over and starts eating out my asshole. Sweaty, not showered, not wiped. Just eating it out. This girl is a true 10, just eating my asshole out as much as she can. Then she finishes and comes up to my face, breathes my own shit into my face, and says "this is the real test" and wants me to kiss her. Of course I did. Yuck. I've had multiple other girls eat my asshole since, but that one just floored me for some reason.

Reminds me of this chinese girl from one of those asian massage parlors in NYC. You go there, get naked, pay their fee. This girl walks in and starts immediately just sucking your dick. Then they do a table shower for you, and while doing the table shower will just eat your asshole out. Insane haha.

When you start paying for sex, you get all kinds of insane shit. I found these two friends on Seeking that liked to fuck guys together. So the one is very nice looking, and her friend is a bikini model that apparently ended up with a cocaine addiction and quit doing that, but still looked great. So I meet them in a hotel room. We have small talk and within a few minutes one is putting her hand on my cock, I take off my pants and she starts sucking my dick while the bikini model is taking off her clothes. I lay on the bed, and they are both on my cock licking my taint and sucking my dick, switching back on forth. Fuck them both, I had negotiated for "two comes" haha. The bikini model leaves but the other girl stays and sucks me off several more times. Amazing.

Another one I paid for, this girl I think was former military, and would swing with her ex-husband. I told her I just wanted back to back blowjobs, so she comes over and just sucks me off three times in a row. Face fucking, whatever I wanted. Love this shit.

One I didn't pay, this girl I met on FB, kind of strawberry blonde, decent looking, not at all pretty. She comes over, and within 10 minutes of being at my house starts sucking my dick, I come three times again. She goes "Oh yeah made you nut three times." Then starts telling me some story how she fucked some guy all night then realized in the morning he was black, lol.

Any time I travel I look up the place on internationalsexguide.info (I think) and see where the whores are. Most recently before COVID-19 was in Belize. I got a taxi and told him to bring me to the chicas. Found a smoking hot one (literally the only one that looked nice in the whole establishment). Brought her back to my hotel, she sucked me off, then I fucked her. Then she fake slept and wouldn't let me fuck her again so I woke her up and walked her to the front of the hotel and left her there. Elsewhere I've enjoyed the hell out of some brothels. I was single and bored a couple of years ago and made a whole trip to Carson City / Reno and did the whole tour of all the brothels there, this one girl at the Bunny Ranch was so insanely gorgeous. Like a true 11. God damn that was fun.
How much do you estimate that you've paid so far? And what was the highest priced one? I guess also, was she worth the extra money?

I've never gotten into prostitution, but thought about it before meeting my wife.
 

DrFukasaka

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about 30 years ago me and my best friend went to a bar and got pretty drunk and we picked up two girls that were really drunk and went back to my place. After an hour or so of sex we both arrived at the bathroom at the same time and talked over who had the hotter girl and which was more of a freak and what not then we switched girls and nether of them seemed to have an issue with this, the girl I ended up with was so fucked up i'm not even sure if she knew.
 
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Hoss

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My experiences with shower sex are

1. Wife blowing me in the shower - very nice
2. Wife riding me in the shower - very bad. Felt like I was drowning. I think it was similar to being waterboarded. I still finished but that was a 1 time thing.

I think a standing doggy might be good but wife doesn't like that position.
 
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Caeden

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Shower sex to me is like pool sex. The water just robs the pussy of lube too easily.
 
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Caeden

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Imagine doing anal.
But if she gets really wet and relaxed, it's all good
A lot of lube has been the hallmark of good anal and I bet the water just dissolves it fast.

I honestly never cared much for anal, but my wife had never done it until about a year ago. After a few practice pokes, she’s really good with it. Big butthole thread material probably. Best anal I’ve had.

My ex wasn’t bad. She’s let you spit and go, which was kinda hot but often didn’t feel nearly as good. She’d also get royally pissed if you came in her ass, so naturally I would. A girl I dated off and on after I split with my ex was wayyy into anal. Said the pain cleared her mind. Same one I would tie up a lot. She wanted it to hurt, but she wanted lube. She just wanted you to go as hard and fast as possible. That fucked up girl would do ass to mouth too. If she didn’t spend every day after her job crying about being a failure at life, she’s have been fun to keep around. Most other times I tried it the girl was way too tense and it sucked.
 

slippery

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Shower sex to me is like pool sex. The water just robs the pussy of lube too easily.
This is my experience with both as well. Pool was super fucking terrible, shower wasn't the worst thing in the world but not really enjoyable, hot tub was passable but butter for not sex
 

Void

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This is my experience with both as well. Pool was super fucking terrible, shower wasn't the worst thing in the world but not really enjoyable, hot tub was passable but butter for not sex
Well now you are making me curious about butter sex.
 
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Hoss

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Are we talking good looking Brando, or Dr. Moreau lardass Brando?

Beats the hell out of me. I'm unqualified to answer that on multiple levels. It was a 1972 movie. When do you think he stopped being hot?
 
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