I agree, nowadays a large bunch of people don't care nor give a fuck about community, they want to be able to log on ingame, do stuff worth their money and disconnect as they please, they don't want to "be community slaves". From what I've seen, back in the day people would defy their parents / girlfriend / husband to get involved in during The Guild's business, because it matters, because you matter, because everyone matter at some point. The good side is that it built communities, the bad side is some people (customers) were forced to play even if they didn't feel to (hey Toplel, we lack healers tonight, we don't care about your family's dinner, go hop in and heal some shit). I don't know, I had / have lots of free time therefore my opinion is biased, but people shouldn't commit when they can meet expectations.
About expectations, these days everything is more flexible (solo content, solo storyline, solo events, 5/10/20/25 man content, even flexible raids in the works regarding WoW), most sub-based MMOs have adopted paid content business model, where you basically don't have to "pay" for everyone, you just pay your gaming share (SWTOR, Rift, etc). You can literally hop in, play content for maybe 4 hours / week and it won't cost you the extra buck. That's how people don't commit nowadays, community wise. They don't want to be forced to do anything, they don't want to have forced interactions (you must be 5 people to kill this), they don't want to play with people who don't meet their standards (Jorge is AFK feeding his 2yo when you're alone hitting this boss), in a nutshell they don't want to be bothered at all. That's the problem when you're developing a MMO in 2013 : you have to meet every players' expectations : the WoW nerds, the old MMO fucks, the casuals, the hardcore, the kids, the adults, everyone. Everyone. Also reviews are biased because +/- 10% of actual players interact with community forums. There are people out there who will never tell you how they don't like your game, they'll just quit and be done with it. Deal with that.
I think building communities is quite hard nowadays, because people will try your MMO though they have their old WoW / Rift / EvE / whatever account laying around, and if your game doesn't retain them on day 1 they'll just go back to their old communities, because when you're out seeking new friends and they suck, it's always good going back home.