Shit Posting Professional
- 111d 10h 15m
The Tale of Whiskeytits Female NE Hunter (Epic read) : lightshope
Some psychotic level dedication there.This past week has been hands down the funnest week of my WoW career, and that says a lot since I'm a certified Redridge Terrorist.
It all started on a bright sunny morning in Redridge. Bellygrub was getting poached, Corporal Keeshan was being rescued from a dark, deep and dangerous cave and the fish were biting and Alliance screaming from our merciless ganks.
I was multiboxing with my Level 1 Alliance spy whilst peacefully spilling blood. I came across a player playing the gayest gender/race/class combo - Female Night Elf Hunter. I proceeded to zap him to death with my trusty but lethal Gnomish Death Ray. Extremely satisfying.
Immediately I noticed he raged in chat. He lashed out at Alliance for not bodyguard-defending him and insulted me a few times. Like an insect to a light bulb- I was hooked!
I began to ignore everyone around him and just focused on slaughtering that pleb. This angered him more. After cursing every swear word under the sun he said in chat " well fk it ill be back in a few hours fk being camped by this fukc".
This marks Day #1.
Next day first thing I did when I logged on was check his location from my Ally spy. He was in Wetlands. 15 minutes later I was there too on Campsalot. I found him after an hour of looking and I must have killed him about 18 times. Literally I camped him for roughly 4 hours until he rage logged. But before he rage logged I made contact with him on my Ally spy and trolled him a bit. Pulled a few strings of his and it was goodnight.
This marks Day #2.
As soon as I got off of work the next day I went after him. He was in Duskwood- not an easy zone to find a gay hunter. After almost 2 hours and him logging in and out a few times I found him inside the city and camped him. Again, I made contact with him on my Ally spy and told him he has been getting outplayed the past 3 days by me which really set him on fire.
This concludes Day #3 and things are about to get very spicy..
I log in on Day #4 with the burning desire to make him rage log again. I went on my Alliance spy and SURPRISE! The pleb once known as Whiskeytits got a name change from the GMs. His new name was Grandalas.
I immediately whispered him and said "a name change wont solve your problems. See you SOON". Poor guy. He thought it was over after that. But I am the Redridge Terrorist. DO NOT CROSS ME OR MY CREW!
Once again he was in Duskwood and with the aid of a guildie we found him. A guildie whispered him complaining about me and he got him to join his party then he communicated his location over to me. Again he was camped. This time it probably stung harder since he got a free name change.
Day #5 I found him in Arathi Highlands but he was afk for 2.5 hours next to the FP. I was behind him the entire time waiting for him to make a move. But he never did, he logged out and my thirst wasn't satisfied.
Day #6 I log in and he got a name change again. He is now known as Leglass. I make contact with him and troll him a bit. All of a sudden I'm found in the GM room.
I, Campsalot, was banned for Harrassment and Abuse and pretending to be a GM (lol) on ALL my accounts even the ones that had no involvement in this. Yep, you heard it correctly folks. But I'm not even mad. I camped a feg for 5 days straight and forced TWO name changes. That's a gold medal.
Next day I informed my cousin (who is an absolute pvp monster and the best WoW-buddy anyone can ask for) about this. With his applause, he went to Duskwood and found Leglass. He killed him and made a lvl 1 Ally and whispered him and said "a name change wont solve your problems. See you SOON" then he logged off.
He logged in the next day and his account was banned too! ROFL. Knee-jerk reaction GMs who make bad decisions consistantly. But he's not mad, hes a Glad.
Whiskeytits, I poured out all my wrath and hated for the Alliance and Redridge on you. You poor poor feg.
To my Redridge friends, Murderfresh and Whitegrape you guys are great much respect. I cant wait until we can pvp together again.
To the GM team, Im thrilled I single handedly kept you busy for an entire week. Get cucked.
And just like that another prominant figure vanishes. First Sharphealz and now the Redridge Terrorist Campsalot.