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Sorry, I'm going to have to tell you that I would stomp you in corn hole. Also ladder ball and jarts. I live in a town that tailgates half the year. You'd be my bitch.

Is that true of hernias, too?

Lawn Jarts are a lot more interesting when you put a few land mines in your yard.

He needs to be released before so he can double down on his dumbness and we can make even more fun of him on the 24th.

sheesh. Start with water and a whole chicken, add some carrots and onion and garlic and sage and celery (and season). Boil for many hours. Strain the broth, strip the meat. Put the meat back in the broth, add whatever you want in the soup (I like carrots, sometimes rice, sometimes orzo...

How often are you masturbating? Science wants to know.

Did you finish it in any way, or just take it straight out of the sous vide and eat it?

Especially the uncle gravy?

I tend not to buy breasts anymore, because thighs are cheaper and more delicious. Maybe I'll get a pork butt, instead. Though the thought of stuffing the tenderloin with sausage and cooking it slowly is not bad.

Fuck turkey right in the ass. I don't make that shit any more. Goose or duck is a superior meat every single time. I may try to sous vide a whole goose. How long do you think that shit would take? I'd have to put a brick in the cavity to keep it in the water. I'm shredding a porkloin for the...

Jebus making out with his brother. Sounds like a good idea to get away from this woman forever ago.

I need recipes with tomatillos. I have so many ready to harvest I could feed Ethiopia for a week.

Dude, don't be dumb. Clearly ReRolled is going to solve ALL of his problems.

dafuq?

The picture made me slightly tingly. I'd eat that.

Strength, brother. I wish you clarity of thought and a clear path forward, whatever that is.

So what does this do to your plans? If she's voluntarily getting help now, does that put the hold on you moving out? Could she have sensed what you were about to do, given things like you getting a car, and done this in order to protect her ability to keep your son with her? If she can...

Fuzzy Tacos does not sound like an eating establishment I would frequent. Who comes up with that shit?

Many levels of special.

Damn. Sophie's choice.

So the onion rings from Burger King make those around you suffer?

Well, then. That makes me feel a lot better about last weekend.

You trust your farts in situations like that?

My ADHD son has some sensory things, and it wasn't until he was medicated that he really flourished in a classroom situation. When off his meds he is easily overwhelmed in a very stimulus rich environment like a classroom. Then he kind of shuts down or acts out. He also hates going to movies...

There is literally no chance I'm going to look at that youtube link.

Even safer.

What about telling people to rape themselves? It's the perfect storm for a shawing!

I know that's a scary ass thing to hear, but it could be a godsend. I did have friends who have a daughter with a sensory processing disorder who couldn't make friends and was having an impossible time learning at school, to the point of being retained for fourth grade. They figured out what was...

You should probably lose a few and hit the gym, tbh.

If people vote against tomatoes, vengeance will be had.

I got a bunch of those outlets, too. Mine were just a little more expensive because everything is run on 20A in this house, but still worth it. I have one beside everyone's bed, at the desks, and by the television. Don't need any charging cubes in this house! As far as lighting goes, you're...

What kind of car? Let's see a pic! How did the wife react to you having your own car?

Keep trying. See what gets you a longer sentence. Report back.

Perhaps poutine is best served with a freshly jerked cup of Putin sauce?

I do my people cutting with Japanese knives while in strange costumes and semi erect. No substitutes.

I ordered one. If it sucks, I will cut you.