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That's gunna attract the wrong kind of attention. If anyone ever reacts positively to that, you should be worried. I used to have a shirt with a brunching shuttlecocks comic on it. I can't find an image now, but it basically said "whenever I'm feeling down or depressed, I remember I'm somebody's...

Turns out I'm more autistic than I realized. So the funeral is today, and I'm sorry for your loss. I guess you can come back and read this after. The primary thing you missed is that your mom was not exactly half her final age when she had you. She was close but not exact. So the 2 ages...

I was thinking leap year too but that would only account for 8 days if he didn't add them in. Also leap years are presidential election years. It's easy to figure out. If you have trouble remembering just think of it as the politicians giving themselves 1 more day to campaign. Leap years are...

Sounds like a 12 step program. There's no fixing it, you just have to manage it. I wonder if there's a clutterers anonymous.

Good job nazi mod. Now merge them both into lurkindirks dick thread, cause these are some gay motherfuckers.

"opposites attract" is a saying for a reason. That said, there have to be some core similarities between mates. The thing is that people are wired up to focus on the differences and gloss over the similarities. So you might sit there and think "wow my wife is such a bleeding heart, it's amazing...

So that means if noodle hadn't posted that picture, you'd be sucking the venom from his balls. Face inches from his unwiped ass. Literally 1 pic on the Internet away from that.

I don't go there. Can you explain the td version of free speech? All I know about that place is something about anyone with a kind word for trump being insta banned and I assume td was made in response to that. Then there was some bullshit where they were hiding td or something. I don't want...

Seems like every once in a while izos forum settings get fucked and he sees threads from oldest to newest

One of us does the new years eve kiss wrong. It's all about starting the new year off right. What better way to start than with a nut?

I almost said fast enough. But in the end I decided to tag the meme currently making the rounds that says "any machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough" I could have looked for a gif of an asian driver to make the wrong enough line better but I'm on my phone, already had the...

Every car is a flying car if you drive it wrong enough.

Yeah well they were going to come today, but about half of them had the daylight savings setting toggled by some group policy that no one can find and they all lost their time synch. So they postponed it till that gets worked out. They're on the phone with tech support in India right now.

I'm pretty sure this motherfucker legit mispronounces his own name. Where's the Lia? Somehow you turned Lia into uh la

I mean, how about gm? Or director of football operations? Lord knows we need new ones of those.

I forgot to jerk off last night. When I remembered I was already in bed and said "fuck it I'll catch up tomorrow"

Maybe (hopefully) he's got some plan that keeps Garrett on in another role. I only say hopefully because the only other reasonable alternative is that he's thinking of keeping him on as head coach.

That's what the Cuban maids are for.

Helluva basement. Again. Disappoint that there's no murder scene in the reflection.

Frankly, I'm disappointed there's not a murder scene or something cool in the reflection on those glasses. All we see is a scrawny little arm and a perfectly normal building.

When aunt becky says "you'll like so-and-so, he's just like you" they are rarely correct. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. I figure its one of 3 reasons. 1. The limited ways in which you are alike are things you don't like about yourself. So when you're together, that's all you focus on...

Are you on the left or right? Sorry all white people look the same to me.

Noodle must be rich. He got the deluxe mac n cheese. That's got extra cheese sauce substitute in it.

That's fine with me. Anytime you say anything good I imagine it happening atop a pile of garbage in that filthy house and it gets ruined.

They're not level dependent. It's a questline.

I haven't had to sign for a package since I bought a rifle from the cmp. You gotta sign for fucking books?

What kind of animal throws away a fucking water bottle with a name on it? I go away to lunch and it gets tossed while I was gone. Doesn't the name make it clear someone is fucking reusing it? There aren't even anymore water bottles available. I was planning to use it till we got resupplied in...

I was specifically talking about the big family gatherings. Thanksgiving and Christmas. Spending time with extended family through the holidays was the original rustle. I suppose that could have meant chakakahna. Something along those lines. That's where I got 2 months from. And because I...

What is this thread? I don't even ... Oh since @Haus passed the buck to me, we pronounce our name "hoes"

I suck at these guessing games, but I say black Monday. That way he can start going after a new coach before they get snapped up.

America's game of the week was created for america's team. You are free to not like it, but they're going to put the Cowboys in there anytime they can halfway justify it.

Lifelong Dolphins fan checking in.

Ukulele prince? Do we have a user named ukulele prince? That would be a good name @ukele prince. I guess not. Maybe it wasn't that easy Now this one is easy. All wet. Visibly confused. Member of a cult. Brando.

If you have a coach or player who even thinks like that, it's best to get rid of them.

Congratulations on being wrong. Not just wrong but belligerently wrong. I gave a path to salvation that I've seen work and you want to shout it down. I didn't do that stuff myself because I don't hide from germs. I believe the best path is to build your immunity. But you can't do that for 2...

Director: Taika Waititi That's all I needed. When he finally lays an egg I'll start doubting him. But that hasn't happened yet.

Say what? Captain marvel was retconned to straight? When was that cut of the movie released and did they take out rocket bagging on her hair?

Counterpoint: if you constantly choke in close games, you suck. That's not bad luck.

Hell I was thinking a young gandalf. Not gandalf the Grey, whatever color is before that. Gandalf the brown?

The man makes some salient points. Erudite even.