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Fuck her with a condom but I understand how you feel. First girl who told me she had the herp I did my research, thought I was ok with it, almost fucked her in a car wash and had to stop. She was nowhere near as hot as your girl. I still feel like an ass for how I broke lot off mid makeout...

I thought 28" was the standard draw length. How long are your arrows? They're supposed to be sized according to the draw. Unless that's all completely different for compounds. But I don't think it is.

One of my good friends was an old hippy from the 60's. He said everyone should try sex on shrooms at least once.

That's what I can't figure out. Sometimes I like to try and figure out what the scam is. How the fuck are they getting money from me if they won't even talk? I thought maybe it was a variation on the one ring callback scam, but these numbers are in my own area code, so there's no way they can...

Too soon bro.

I keep getting calls wanting to buy some house in another city. I swear to flying spaghetti monster I'm about to sell a motherfucking house. I've gotten offers from 2 of them and they were like half the value on zillow. So I read them the riot act over wasting my time with lowball offers...

Same here. I like to fuck with them. Last week I got a call that met that description so i picked up and said "It's done and there's blood everywhere. But that's your problem now" and hung up. A minute later I got another call from the same number and I was like, is this fo real? So I...

The FCC changed its rules not too long ago to allow the carriers to be more aggressive at detecting and shutting the scammers down. They have the tools, but it doesn't seem like any of them have decided to use them yet. Probably afraid of the backlash when they inevitably shut down legitimate...

Yes. Motherfuckers skipped your question. Next couple posters probably had you on ignore. Just the one time they did it. It's the old boiling a frog routine. The king tried to throw them into a pot of boiling water and they jumped out. But what's happening now has happened slowly over...

I am fully erect. Is this house still for sale?

I looked it up for myself. Doing what's necessary to prevent harm to a human is a defense to prosecution rather than an exception to the various laws. This is separate from defending livestock or defending yourself from a person harming you because those are spelled out specifically in law...

You're right. It's not important at all to accurately describe a problem. All that matters is that we do something that makes us feel better. This works in all aspects of life BTW, not just when you want to murder family pets who have done nothing wrong.

The fuck? Did you mean to say after the attack is done and everyone is safe? Cause that might be correct. But you damn sure can kill any animal or person who is attacking you or your children while the attack is in progress. Well OK, maybe if it's a kid who's not reasonably capable of...

LOL no. It's a very effective place to hit someone.

Bro, you got a detachable shower head and aiming it at your feet is tickling your pickle?

Disappointed there was no nose joke in there. but lurkingdick had you covered.

If they are outside, then something is probably eating the dead rats. I would dump my dead rats outside by the end of the driveway and they were gone without a trace in no time. If I get another one I'm going to put a camera on it to see what's getting them. I had a pest control company...

lol both seats. You must have one of those extra thick ADA seats on your rig.

I've been dealing with them too in my garage. 2 in one trap is impressive. I didn't know pack rats were a real species. Mine are brown rats I think. The last 2 I caught had run off about 10 feet with the trap and died under shelves. One was a black trap similar to yours, the other was one...

I hope in this case gun means penis. Otherwise that was a completely unreasonable response.

One day the dude in the car in front of me was vaping something that smelled like brisket. I initially thought he was smoking meat in his cab. If I ever start vaping I already know what flavor i want. I wonder if I can just get that as an incense.

Not unless you have a way to shoot invaders with a sticker. Is that kiddiefucker sam's rig?

Where the fuck are the rifle racks?

Maybe it's because I never watched orange and I don't remember her from wick. There could be a little bit of disappointment there due to higher expectations. Was she a lesbo in orange and/or wick?

Not this 'knees too sharp' shit again. Is it a day that ends in 'y' already?

You're in season 1. Andy gets better.

Why not? She's hot. Who cares that she doesn't like dick, it's not like we ever had a shot. Plus it'll mean there's 100% chance she'll be kissing other hot chicks a lot. Short hair looks terrible but it's easy to look past it for someone that pretty. What was wrong with the video? I...

Possibly the best thing any of them will do. At least Aubrey has that fappening video that competes well. Oh wait. I guess chris pratt has gone on to better things.

HAHAHAHAHAHA You said it once, got little response, then shoehorned it into another post. I can only assume this is the attention you craved. I was just trying to help a brother out. Didn't realize I was dealing with a sister. Go ahead with your bullshit, I'm accustomed to dealing with...

If they are your favorite, these guys are doing you a favor shutting it down. I wouldn't even say whataburger has been good for 10 years. Not since they cut out most of the available toppings. Fucking autoincorrect.

Bro just because you get offended doesn't mean anyone is trolling. Im taking this derail much more seriously than it deserves. It's the fact that you have to keep telling us that makes it sound like you're trying to convince yourself.

It's coming off as a mealy mouthed excuse because you don't have the courage to just say no. Worrying about a piss test is as bad as people who quote reefer madness as their reason to be clean. In truth I was doing you a favor by making sure you knew there were ways to get clean because your...

You keep saying that as if there's not ways to get your piss clean within an hour. Takes a few days to get your hair clean. How are they testing you? The only people I ever knew to get hair tests got advance warning. The one pothead was able to stall for a week without raising suspicion...

Aww man. i was hoping it would be the wheelchair dude.

Sounds like it's a pre-employment test.

Ok. It's been like 30 years since I had a fish that ate flakes. Forgot all about that.

I think my favorite part was when the new girl turned into the batlike thing. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!

I do not. OK I guess I just don't understand the fish comment. Was it even to me? Seemed like it was and I just wanted to help make sure your quip landed.

Remember, I'm a dumb. Walk me through this particular ice burn please.

What about salt flakes? My wife had some at some fancy restaurant and told me they were the best form of salt. We bought some for the house and I'm unimpressed.