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New thing this year - my kids' buses have GPS locators, and you can track them live time. No more waiting for the bus outside in the cold. My phone gets pinged when the bus is three minutes away. Pretty sweet.

Interesting. I find using salt and pepper before they are cooked screws up the flavour and texture of my eggs.

When did you realise you were "special?"

That deserves a paddling. Keesh my ass? Keep the heat pretty low, expect to be stirring for quite a while, use your eyes, and you'll get the texture you want in the eggs. Once they are about done, add the cream, it prevents them from over cooking by lowering temperature and changing the...

Try an omelet in the oven. It's pretty easy - fry up your extra ingredients in a pan, add your eggs, bake, serve. Can make quite a nice, fluffy texture.

The worst part about Enterprise was the title song. What the heck was that crap?

Omelets. Meh. I can do them, but I prefer scrambled eggs. For good scrambled eggs start with a cold sauce pan. Put a knob of butter in it, add the eggs, turn the heat on, stir like a crazy person. When they're almost cooked, add a bit of heavy cream, stir. Don't stop stirring the entire...

I heard cocaine and hookers do wonders, too. Perhaps you shouldn't follow all advice given in this thread, though.

No title. Nothing has changed. Can't antagonize the douche bags. I'm pretty sure you'd get a couple hundred dollars scrapping the car for waste metal.

All my kids start school tomorrow. Am I a bad person for looking forward to that?

I'm not big on wishing people to die, but maybe Cartman from South Park could be appropriate. Or Chaos. He's only a low information janitor, after all. But probably just Cartman.

Ugh. Sorry, Chaos. I surely hope you get consistent reports henceforth on your child's progress. My five year old starts kindergarten in two days, and I'm hoping the in-house therapists helps him with his "r" pronunciation. I know there's plenty of time for that to correct, but I'd love for...

NSFW

What have I begun?

I don't find her attractive. So, no.

Wife, too. Possibly some nieces and nephews. Mom maybe?

Fall over like you've been stricken by his blow. Adults can be assholes, too.

Ezri Dax: would you?

Betty White holding a flaming chainsaw, riding John Ritter the centaur.

The internet in one gif.

Forgive me, kind and polite sir. Somehow I missed it. Have some surprise boobies.

My very good friends' daughter only pooped about once a week until she was well over a year. Doctor said as long as she wasn't uncomfortable, bloated, or bleeding, all was well. So long as she was continuing to eat, as well. They complained about the gas, too. Turns out girls do fart. I'd say...

Easy solve for spiders:

So, he's just been raped vaginally or orally?