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We can all play that game. Also, is this Sandra Bullock? How do I get this job?

This page is like frickin' Russian Roulette. My ballsack is still aching after looking at that gif...

Lurkingdirk approves this post.

Baloney. This was done by President Obama. He's tracking you.

You know you all did this.

Okay, here's a recipe I thought would be a complete dud, but was fan-freaking-tastic. Try it. If you have a fancy vitamix blender, you can just keep adding ice, and eat this as a sorbet. I did it in a regular blender, and served it as Popsicles made in home made molds. I doubled the recipe...

Your personal physician's office will have a list of recommendations, likely. Might be more credible than an internet search?

The plates are made of pure, refined cocaine. That's why they want them back so badly.

That's great. Keep trying different solutions, you'll certainly find one that does the trick. I have friends that turned a door handle around, so it could be locked from the outside. Kids couldn't get out of their rooms. Not sure about the advisability of that, but it certainly worked for...

Fine. Douche. I responded on his depression thread. And if you're looking for a gift for a one year old, get something that has immediate gratification, if you're hoping to get a response. Or, wait, and make birthdays really special when the child will remember them. Bake your one year...

As I said above, no issues yet. The twins are the sweetest kids I have. For example, if I may boast for a moment, they're hoping to get on the soccer team at their school in a couple weeks, so they've started joining me for 6 AM runs. In the summer. They're asking us to take them camping...

Alive is a definite. Legally sane is up for debate. To be truthful, I have amazing kids. Their greatest joy is to spend the evening with their parents (even the twins). I know that's going to change. Probably by tomorrow, but up to this point, I'm loving it.

boy 5 boy 9 girl 10 twin girls 12 God help me.

What are you on about? We are having an adult conversation. You've been asked to do that multiple times here. And what did anyone say that makes you think they are not serious? The parts that make you look foolish? Izo seems upset. However, I'm done talking to Izo. Not worth any time...

Not poking at you. Responding to your posts. Don't like it? Respond back. Congratulations! You're doing just that. It's what I'm doing, too. Spend a few years as a parent. Then go back and talk to people who have one child who is one. I'm not trying to be offensive. Read as much as...

Oh, you have one child, and that child is one? How cute. Please, tell me all about raising my 12 year old twins. I'm 100% sure you've got the best advice ever. Tell everyone else how to raise their children, too. You're doing a fantastic job. Every parent in this thread thinks a lot of...

Izo seems upset.

Hey, it's notsniffsof coke. Lighten up.

Initially I had no problems. Made my own "baby food." Pureed veg and fruit. Never a problem. Once he's 3, the "I don't like started." It's a decision on their part, which requires stamina on the parents part. Be consistent.

"Ladies, please stop having orgasms when you see me!" Every dang day, man.

Nice. I'ma use that. When we're trolling each other, we generally say something like, "I'm going to poop in your shoes."

Yeah, my youngest does that without trying it. Just looking at it, "I don't like it." and then the whole family sighs. Drives me bonkers.

'Go and suck a bag of dicks' when a close friend tells me something unbelievable.

What's the policy on spanking your wife?

I love the janitor on janitor action in this thread. I also love dogs. With a good sauce, delicious.

He did recently start doing heroin, but I'm sure that has no impact.

I have certainly used spanking, but it is so rare (probably 5 times total), that when it happens, it is memorable. It happens immediately at the time of the "crime," and then it's over. Immediate responses are important in building good habits, and associating repercussions with poor...

Hmm. Now I'm going to have to check out Aquabats. Something I should watch with kids between 5 and 12? Kids go through phases, brother. Your middle will mellow.

I wish I had a solution. Well, I do, but it's huge amounts of oragel, and I don't want to get yelled at again. I've not had the bedtime trouble you have. A really, really regular routine helped me avoid it. I also didn't have two sharing a bed until sleeping patterns were well established...