47 Ronin

spronk

FPS noob

23,867

29,144

• Jul 24, 2013

• #1

Coming this christmas, new movie starring Keanu Reeves as a half-japanese slave who returns to fight monsters and shit? The original 47 Ronin story was about 47 samurai who lose their master in battle and fight to avenge his death ala 7 Samurai, not sure why they needed to put in a shit-ton of dragons, ogres, kiri (?) and other magical stuff in here. Looks more like Neo in Japan.

Plus the whole white-guy-saves-Japan thing...

 

Z

Zhaun_sl

shitlord

2,568

2

• Jul 24, 2013

• #2

I am offended out of my goddamned mind.

 

S

satael

Silver Squire

141

3

• Jul 24, 2013

• #3

So I take it this movie has nothing to do with the previous 47 Ronin and the actual historic events (of 1702)?

 

Szlia

Member

6,661

1,396

• 
• 
• 
• 

• Jul 24, 2013

• #4

spronk_sl said:

The original 47 Ronin story was about 47 samurai who lose their master in battle and fight to avenge his death

Click to expand...

Not quite.

 

F

fucker_sl

shitlord

677

9

• Jul 24, 2013

• #5

this is so fucking awful

 

spronk

FPS noob

23,867

29,144

• Jul 24, 2013

• #6

crazy tattoo guy at the beginning is a real guy I guess
http://izismile.com/2009/11/25/crazy...o_23_pics.html

 

Z

Zhaun_sl

shitlord

2,568

2

• Jul 24, 2013

• #7

I was going to say we need some foreign folks to make THE ALAMO or some other importance piece of American folklore and turn it into something completely different with fire breathing Kentuckians and Kansas women with laser-eyes or some stupid shit.

But knowing today's audience, they'd think it is brilliant and historically accurate and be going home to see if they were related to "that cool Davy Crocker guy with the possum-skin hat that shot lighting from his cock." on Wikipedia.

And I would just die a little more inside.

 

McCheese

SW: Sean, CW: Crone, GW: Wizardhawk

6,933

4,349

• Jul 24, 2013

• #8

Zhaun_sl said:

I was going to say we need some foreign folks to make THE ALAMO or some other importance piece of American folklore and turn it into something completely different with fire breathing Kentuckians and Kansas women with laser-eyes or some stupid shit.

But knowing today's audience, they'd think it is brilliant and historically accurate and be going home to see if they were related to "that cool Davy Crocker guy with the possum-skin hat that shot lighting from his cock." on Wikipedia.

And I would just die a little more inside.

Click to expand...

That sounds awesome. I'd love to see The Alamo remade with a brave group of defenders holding the alamo against a horde of ravenous demons which escaped from hell during an ancient Indian burial ritual. Right at the last minute, the defenders will figure out how to summon protective native American spirits to rise up and combat the demon army.

 

T

Taloo_sl

shitlord

742

2

• Jul 24, 2013

• #9

McCheese_sl said:

That sounds awesome. I'd love to see The Alamo remade with a brave group of defenders holding the alamo against a horde of ravenous demons which escaped from hell during an ancient Indian burial ritual. Right at the last minute, the defenders will figure out how to summon protective native American spirits to rise up and combat the demon army.

Click to expand...

I would watch this movie. Twice maybe.

 

tad10

Elisha Dushku

5,534

601

• Jul 24, 2013

• #10

I own this long on HSX. I don't see any reason to sell.

 

Tuco

I got Tuco'd!

<Gold Donor>

49,549

88,444

• 
• 
• 

• Jul 24, 2013

• #11

The movie has been made!

 

tad10

Elisha Dushku

5,534

601

• Jul 24, 2013

• #12

Tuco_sl said:

The movie has been made!

Click to expand...

Keanu is watching you.

 

bixxby

Molten Core Raider

2,750

47

• Jul 25, 2013

• #13

Isn't Keanu Reeves half asian?

Fake edit: yes kinda: Reeves was born in Beirut, Lebanon, the son of Patricia Bond (n?e Taylor), a costume designer/performer, and Samuel Nowlin Reeves, Jr. His mother was English and his father was a Hawaiian-born American of Native Hawaiian, English, Irish, Portuguese, and Chinese descen

 

Foggy

Bronze Baronet of the Realm

6,389

5,008

• Jul 25, 2013

• #14

He blocked fire with a samurai sword. I'm in.

 

A

Archangel_sl

shitlord

208

5

• Jul 25, 2013

• #15

....yeaaaaaahhhh, I saw that trailer last night, and all I could do is cringe. I'm not of Japanese, or even Asian descent, but holy crap, even I felt borderline offended. Keanu??? I prayed he would be mute in the film, but then he goes and talks at the end, taunting. Epic facepalm.

 

spronk

FPS noob

23,867

29,144

• Jul 25, 2013

• #16

Whats weird to me is how Keanu had another kung fu movie that is coming out/came out this year, when I first saw 47 Ronin trailer I thought it was that other movie and was pretty confused as to how much the plot had changed, since the other movie was pretty much a straight up bloodsport/etc.

The other movie is Man of Tai Chi (not to be confused with Tai Chi Master or Tai Chi Zero!), and apparently its not even being released in the USA in theaters, came out in China a few weeks ago.

 

cabbitcabbit

NeoGaf Donator

2,687

8,382

• Jul 25, 2013

• #17

 

Tarrant

<Prior Amod>

16,146

9,615

• 
• 
• 
• 

• Jul 25, 2013

• #18

Eh, I'll watch it and enjoy it. Probably because I don't movies offend me.

 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again

<Gold Donor>

28,265

18,148

• 

• Jul 25, 2013

• #19

Thanks for the heads up. I was excited when I heard this was being made. Now I know it was a false alarm. Is there someplace we can petition to make them change the fucking name?

 

Szlia

Member

6,661

1,396

• 
• 
• 
• 

• Jul 25, 2013

• #20

On the up side, there are not that many fantasy film set in medieval japan (you have a number of ghost stories, but it's more horror films than action movies).