Alien: Covenant (2017)

Araysar · May 21, 2017

Masakari said:
Right but if they're still going forward with the Derelict ship from Alien 1 being very old, then I wonder how they intend on blending the movie storylines in regards to the Xenomorphs.

Yeah at this point they buttfucked the whole franchise into nonsense.

Like i said earlier, they had an amazing opportunity with Prometheus and Covenant to get away from the usual "monsters are chasing us" storyline that was Alien 1-4 and expand into larger mythology and world building, but not only they retreaded into that schlock, they also fagged up all the mythology.

This franchise is about as appealing at this point as Terminator

Leon · May 21, 2017

So

now David has a destination and a 2000+ pool of bodies to fuck and experiment with

This HAS to lead to the genesis of the alien homeworld. No way around it.

David makes a petting zoo out of the colonists, planet becomes Xeno homeworld, first Queen is born along with a slew of cross breed aliens. Shit flys, swim, burrows, you name it. It's a never ending amusement park.

Engineers turn their eyes on david's planet. What the fucking fuck? Dispatch crew to clean shit up.

They get their asses kicked. Nope Nope Nope, we're out, fuck this shit lolol.

David leaves eggs on their ship as they are getting the fuck outta there, end up crashing on LV426 after their crew gets xenofucked and sit there for 30 more years till the nostromo comes along and we're full circle.

Rime · May 21, 2017

Movie is bad and they should feel bad.

Crappy Darkhorse comics that were made just to sell action figures were better than this cluster that they have stirred up.

Masakari · May 21, 2017

Bragon said:
So

now David has a destination and a 2000+ pool of bodies to fuck and experiment with

This HAS to lead to the genesis of the alien homeworld. No way around it.

David makes a petting zoo out of the colonists, planet becomes Xeno homeworld, first Queen is born along with a slew of cross breed aliens. Shit flys, swim, burrows, you name it. It's a never ending amusement park.

Engineers turn their eyes on david's planet. What the fucking fuck? Dispatch crew to clean shit up.

They get their asses kicked. Nope Nope Nope, we're out, fuck this shit lolol.

David leaves eggs on their ship as they are getting the fuck outta there, end up crashing on LV426 after their crew gets xenofucked and sit there for 30 more years till the nostromo comes along and we're full circle.

OR The Engineers stop by David's workshop and are like "damn homie, we 'mirin your work and skills homie. How bout we kill races together wit dem Xenos nom sayin?". To which David agrees (in synthetic British), but only if they can provide him with more information on their race and extent of knowledge of the universe. Then he uses that to unleash even more Xeno bombs across the galaxy.

sneakyflute · May 21, 2017

It's better than Prometheus but that's not saying much. I still don't know why Neil Blumpkin's project was put on hold for this. Ridley Scott is becoming more known for his missteps these days.

LiquidDeath · May 22, 2017

I'm an Alien(s) fan for life and I liked this one.

It sure as fuck was better than Prometheus. I can accept movies of this caliber as the only way I'm going to get more Aliens in my life. I don't expect that they will recreate the magic of the first two, but the only way they can have a chance is if they keep making movies.

My only major gripes were:

Why didn't we get a chest burster? It was a fully formed mini-alien from the get go. Also, the Alien is nearly instantly an adult. The only way these things are acceptable is if we get further evolution of the process further on.

Of course, if they never explain it and we keep getting more movies then whatever, I'll take it.

Leon · May 22, 2017

And now, shit that pissed me off

7 years mission costing probably trillions, the weight of 2000 people's hopes and lives on your shoulder, and you're making a pit stop to an uncharted unknown planet cause you caught a spooky signal and your crew doesn't feel like going back to cryo sleep just yet? Mother fucker this isn't star trek. Get back in your pods bitches we got shit to do.

Since when do we fucking land on an uncharted planet with no mask or equipment and no concerns for airborne pathogens and organisms? Shit even a mosquito equivalent from an alien planet would be a scary as fuck prospect.

The Ripley lite chick nails David under the chin, and that hole/scar is nowhere to be found later when they get back on the ship. I sure as fuck thought that's what she was gonna see under his chin from the angle of her cryo pod but nope, it was his awkward face cause of the wood house bullshit. Shaking my head.

Walter is self healing, and we see David stitching his own face. Hello? It's not fucking Walter wtf.

Slipping on the blood on the floor, fucking your own ankle in the door, putting your face on top of a creepy looking alien egg cause the android you just met say it's perfectly safe no problem, divulging to said android 5 minutes after meeting him you carry 2000 people in cryo sleep.

The dude lives in a fucking giant alien graveyard and keeps weird fucking dead creatures in his lab.

Sex in the shower. I mean the chick was hot as fuck, but you just lost 80 percent of your crew to a very aggressive bio experiment, someone should be fucking monitoring what's going in the med lab with the dude who got face hugged and lost half his jaw.

Why are fucking Xenos growing to adult size literally minutes after bursting out. Hell even in the original alien, or in alien 3, those fuckers had to molt a couple times before reaching adult size.

Baby white Xeno eating a shotgun shell to the face, no problem. Fucker should have been a splatter mark on the wall.

You JUST saw David talking to a fucking adult white xeno and get upset when you killed it, he just SHOWED you his mad scientist lab, but IT'S OK TO LOOK DOWN IN THE EGG? No one is that fucking stupid.

Yeah bro, put your nose right next to that fucking mushroom, I'm sure it's safe.

I'm on team David, wipe them all.

Utnayan · May 22, 2017

So I thought it was good and obviously a set up for a few more, which I think this set a good baseline for.

Here is my take on Canon.

When Ripley showed up to the planet in the first film, it's obviously a skeleton of an engineer in the captain's chair of the old ship with it;s chest broken apart (Not that exact ship, obviously, but similar) that we saw in Prometheus. This can make obvious sense going down the line for the first Alien movie. David messed around with shit and we saw what is the first incarnation of the alien as we know it with the face hugger, and what comes out. Now, he has a colony ship with 2k people on it and is heading out with 2 face hugger embryos in storage. I am guessing one of these would be a queen.

Now I am not too sure what will happen in the next two movies, but what I can see happening is by the end of the last movie of the trilogy, (A few years from now obviously) David infects an Engineer who then as a result, the engineer flying the ship (Possibly towards Earth) later crash lands on LV426 before the first Alien movie for reasons unknown as of yet, and eggs that Ripley finds is a result of the queen coming from the infected Engineer. Also, the Queen could have ALWAYS been alive from the first Alien movie and we wouldn't even know. They were on the planet and ship for only a fraction of time in the first movie, and in the second, the queen could have very well been alive the entire time, and once the colonists found the eggs and were infected to spawn Xeno's all over the place, the Queen came out and started reproducing more eggs.

Regardless, an Alien spawned from the chest of an engineer in the first Alien movie now that we know what that looks like from Prometheus. Logic would assume a Queen was spawned to lay all the eggs.

Remember, this is from the VERY first Alien movie when the crew first arrived on LV-426 and explored the ship before Kain got infected.

Will be interesting to see where it goes

Leon · May 22, 2017

Yeah you might be right with the queen 'moving in' from out of town on the LV426 colony. Never occurred to me but that would make sense with the amount of eggs found on the engineer ship in alien 1.

Utnayan · May 22, 2017

Bragon said:
Yeah you might be right with the queen 'moving in' from out of town on the LV426 colony. Never occurred to me but that would make sense with the amount of eggs found on the engineer ship in alien 1.

Yep, that and the dead Engineer in the captain's chair with it's chest burst out in skeleton form.

Leon · May 22, 2017

Yeah i always thought that shit happened 100 years ago and just left behind as a clue of 'things to come'.

Now that we know how resilient Xenos are and putting back in perspective all the eggs and the existence of the queen in the xeno reproductive chain, what you said makes total sense.

Runnen · May 22, 2017

The movie was a little better than Prometheus but that's not high praise. It's completely fucking up the canon story with its jumping through loops to "explain" the life cycle of the aliens.. I mean, you start with a airborne pathogen that seemingly INSTANTANEOUSLY spawns aliens from the engineers dying (where did those hundreds of aliens go by the way?), to it becoming airborne spores that take a couple hours to make an alien burst out of you, then its supposed evolution is to... require an egg that then requires a facehugger to implant an embryo in someone, that will then burst out a baby alien.. how is that an evolution? It's less and less efficient with every step. And not even mentionning they bypassed the entire chestburster phase and the xenomorph is now enormous within moments, and is clearly much larger than usual human-spawned xenomorphs. Baffling.

The main beef with this story is that Ridley Scott despises the concept of the aliens being "bugs" and having a queen, because that was an idea developped only in James Cameron's movie at the time, and that is why he's never followed up on it. So he's going out of his way to shit all over his legacy because he's a cynical old man out of touch with how stories should be told nowadays and who hates the fact that the arguably best movie in his main franchise wasn't done by him.

TL;DR : Don't expect a queen in future movies, and don't expect the story to make sense, ever.

Alien was an amazing movie but it was clearly a fluke. Ridley Scott is the new George Lucas, making his legacy worse and worse every time he touches anything that has to do with movies.

Campbell1oo4 · May 22, 2017

This franchise turned to shit when they tried to explain where the aliens come from. You ruin the magic when you try to explain cool shit.

It is always better to have people be asking questions and making predictions about what will happen next, or what the truth is. Take Game of Thrones for example - when that series ends it will lose a lot of its magic, because its the anticipation we enjoy, not the end result.

Utnayan · May 22, 2017

Campbell1oo4 said:
This franchise turned to shit when they tried to explain where the aliens come from. You ruin the magic when you try to explain cool shit.

It is always better to have people be asking questions and making predictions about what will happen next, or what the truth is. Take Game of Thrones for example - when that series ends it will lose a lot of its magic, because its the anticipation we enjoy, not the end result.

I think this has more to do with Hollywood in of itself not ever just completing a story because they never want to write themselves in a box if an IP is successful. Because I am on the opposite end of that. I want to see a beginning, a middle, and an end. And if successful enough, I want to see what caused the beginning, and maybe even see what happens after the end.

Let's take The Thing for example. Remade what... 3 damn times? Original, the Kurt Russel movie, and the latest remake. How about instead of these remakes, we get a good writer/screenplay to tell us why the alien was submerged in the North Pole, where it came from, and it's purpose.

We do not get stories like that anymore because Hollywood can't figure out how to create standalone anthology films in the same universe. Albeit, with Star Wars and Rogue One, they may be FINALLY catching on. But most movies or TV series' these days, there is hardly ever a satisfying conclusion because the previous may make a shit ton of money so they don't end it the way they should. It's like watching the original Nightmare on Elm Streets and every time Freddy is destroyed, there is always a clip for about 10 seconds where a stupid light comes on in a doll house, or one of freddy's knives moves... So you know he will be back. Again, and again... and again.

The Trilogy that did this right? Lord of the Rings. Perfect beginning, middle, end. Great character development, great story, and above all, FANTASTIC ending.

It has gotten to the point now where I will only spend money at a theater for something that I am solidly interested in seeing. This movie, and Prometheus, is slowly but surely telling me why that spaceship was on the planet when I first watched the first Alien, and why these things existed. I'll definitely go see the next because the way this one ended I am intrigued to see where it will go. And there are enough hooks there to keep the mystery alive.

And hopefully, when the 3rd/4th installment of this ends with the ship on LV426, we can scrap Aliens 3 and Ressurrection, and do a proper ending trilogy where the aliens come to Earth and wreak a shit ton of havoc and at the same time see why the Engineers wanted us obliterated.

Leon · May 22, 2017

Runnen :

David created the egg with years of cross breeding and experimenting basically. Most of the shit made by the black good is probably Prometheus levels of retarded / imperfect.

I don't think the pathogen bombardment created hundreds of xenos, it created weird shit that David experimented on but it mostly killed everyone the moment it got disseminated in the air.

Everthing else you're spot on tho =p

Campbell1oo4 · May 22, 2017

Utnayan said:
I think this has more to do with Hollywood in of itself not ever just completing a story because they never want to write themselves in a box if an IP is successful. Because I am on the opposite end of that. I want to see a beginning, a middle, and an end. And if successful enough, I want to see what caused the beginning, and maybe even see what happens after the end.

Let's take The Thing for example. Remade what... 3 damn times? Original, the Kurt Russel movie, and the latest remake. How about instead of these remakes, we get a good writer/screenplay to tell us why the alien was submerged in the North Pole, where it came from, and it's purpose.

We do not get stories like that anymore because Hollywood can't figure out how to create standalone anthology films in the same universe. Albeit, with Star Wars and Rogue One, they may be FINALLY catching on. But most movies or TV series' these days, there is hardly ever a satisfying conclusion because the previous may make a shit ton of money so they don't end it the way they should. It's like watching the original Nightmare on Elm Streets and every time Freddy is destroyed, there is always a clip for about 10 seconds where a stupid light comes on in a doll house, or one of freddy's knives moves... So you know he will be back. Again, and again... and again.

The Trilogy that did this right? Lord of the Rings. Perfect beginning, middle, end. Great character development, great story, and above all, FANTASTIC ending.

It has gotten to the point now where I will only spend money at a theater for something that I am solidly interested in seeing. This movie, and Prometheus, is slowly but surely telling me why that spaceship was on the planet when I first watched the first Alien, and why these things existed. I'll definitely go see the next because the way this one ended I am intrigued to see where it will go. And there are enough hooks there to keep the mystery alive.

And hopefully, when the 3rd/4th installment of this ends with the ship on LV426, we can scrap Aliens 3 and Ressurrection, and do a proper ending trilogy where the aliens come to Earth and wreak a shit ton of havoc and at the same time see why the Engineers wanted us obliterated.

Nah, man. I'm telling you that stories are better if you allude to possibilities, but never confirm anything. You absolutely need a beginning, a middle and an end. But I'm not talking about crafting incomplete stories. I'm talking about world building. The Thing is better because you never find out why the alien was hidden in the ice. But, you do know that the Norwegians uncovered it, and something happened at their compound. That missing information does not make it a weaker story, it makes it a stronger story. It builds a world of events outside the story we are watching unfold on the screen, and it makes it more real in our minds.

The Lord of the Rings is the same way. Throughout those books we always get these bits and pieces about the olden days where there were elven kingdoms, dwarf holds and much more powerful magic in the world. But, we never get to see that. We just get hints of it. Sure you could read the Silmarillion, but then again it's not really a narrative. It's a history book.

Another example - Star Wars. In the first film they make some reference to Anakin Skywalker being this war hero from the clone wars, and Obiwan dropping those two lines builds a world of possibilities inside our minds. We wonder about the battles he fought, what he looked like, what the clones were, and how long were the wars? How bloody? How ferocious? We know this big huge thing happened many years before the events we are seeing in the film, and so it builds the world around the film. Then Lucas when and ruined it by creating the prequels, and all those myths we had built up in our minds about the war hero Anakin Skywalker were dashed to pieces by bad acting, poor editing, abhorrent directing, and an addiction to CGI.

That being said, I will admit there is a right way and a wrong way to flesh out the events of the world in which your story takes place - either by making sequels or prequels. But, I don't think Prometheus or Covenant hit the mark.

Adebisi · May 22, 2017

Why did they spend so much time fapping about not bringing the ship down below 80kms only to bring the ship below 80kms and nothing happens to the ship.

Weird writing there

Oldbased · May 22, 2017

Runnen said:
The movie was a little better than Prometheus but that's not high praise. It's completely fucking up the canon story with its jumping through loops to "explain" the life cycle of the aliens.. I mean, you start with a airborne pathogen that seemingly INSTANTANEOUSLY spawns aliens from the engineers dying (where did those hundreds of aliens go by the way?), to it becoming airborne spores that take a couple hours to make an alien burst out of you, then its supposed evolution is to... require an egg that then requires a facehugger to implant an embryo in someone, that will then burst out a baby alien.. how is that an evolution? It's less and less efficient with every step. And not even mentionning they bypassed the entire chestburster phase and the xenomorph is now enormous within moments, and is clearly much larger than usual human-spawned xenomorphs. Baffling.

The main beef with this story is that Ridley Scott despises the concept of the aliens being "bugs" and having a queen, because that was an idea developped only in James Cameron's movie at the time, and that is why he's never followed up on it. So he's going out of his way to shit all over his legacy because he's a cynical old man out of touch with how stories should be told nowadays and who hates the fact that the arguably best movie in his main franchise wasn't done by him.

TL;DR : Don't expect a queen in future movies, and don't expect the story to make sense, ever.

Alien was an amazing movie but it was clearly a fluke. Ridley Scott is the new George Lucas, making his legacy worse and worse every time he touches anything that has to do with movies.

Good post. I would say Ridley Scott is the new JJ myself. Simplifying it and throwing lore/cannon out to just make bang bang scream movies. With that waiting for video on this one. Thanks everyone for the reviews!

Jive Turkey · May 22, 2017

Penalty said:
Yea this was just alright for me, nothing special. Felt more like a movie about David, with xenomorphs as a backdrop. Unfortunately, it suffered from the boring retarded crew doing dumb stuff cliche.

You're really going to wait until he locks you in the sleep pod to determine if he is David or not?

Sucks because at that point I dont care if she dies or not, give us a badass, intelligent, logical crew member to root for. Fuck.

she wasn't testing him when she said that. It was a genuine question and only at that point did she realize.

Masakari · May 22, 2017

Runnen said:
Alien was an amazing movie but it was clearly a fluke. Ridley Scott is the new George Lucas, making his legacy worse and worse every time he touches anything that has to do with movies.

Yes.

Search

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO

Leon

Rime

Masakari

sneakyflute

Golden Squire

LiquidDeath

Magnus Deadlift the Fucktiger

Leon

Utnayan

I Love Utnayan he’s awesome

Leon

Utnayan

I Love Utnayan he’s awesome

Leon

Runnen

Vyemm Raider

Campbell1oo4

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

Utnayan

I Love Utnayan he’s awesome

Leon

Campbell1oo4

Ahn'Qiraj Raider

Adebisi

Clump of Cells

Oldbased

> Than U

Jive Turkey

Karen

Masakari