Bird Box (2018)

Brodhi

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Thought it was pretty garbage. Wasted potential. Lovecraft mythos tossed in very half assed with zero development. They checked off all the boxes for having a "approved diverse cast" so kudos for them. They even snuck in a "maga quote" for the asshole cis white male just for good measure.
 
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OU Ariakas

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I watched this with the wife last night. We both thought it was an interesting concept but, like with most movies, it lacked some realism (why can you not just stare at your feet and use your peripheral vision to detect movement?) and didn't follow its own rules (affected guy at the store was sensed by the birds from a good distance but they are in the same room with another affected and don't make a sound). It isn't even the most 'terrifying' Netflix original horror movie (Ritual is way more tense) so I cannot see why they would hype it like that and then have all the people that watched due to that article be let down. Brodhi Brodhi is very correct that the hint of Cthulhu with no follow through makes this feel much more like The Happing then The Ritual.
 
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Locnar

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the guy at the grocery store had one of those things right there with him, hence why the birds freaked out. Not the case with the other guy.
 
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Slaythe

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I think as a movie in general this was pretty shitty, but the post apocalypse genre is filled with a ton of stuff that is much worse. Genre specific, I think this was about average.

Certainly not a movie I'd recommend to anyone else, but I didn't really hate watching it.
 

cabbitcabbit

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If I say the backyard wrestling tapes I made with my friends as a teenager are about racism will those get positive reviews too?

This movie was bad.
 

Arbitrary

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For just being something new to watch on Netflix I thought it wasn't bad. It's just too long at two hours given how weak the final act is.

I never saw A Quiet Place so I cannot recommend it but for "family hides from thing" I would recommend the following -

Hidden (2015) - IMDb
It Comes at Night (2017) - IMDb

and if you have never sat down and watched Night of the Living Dead there's no excuse for that as it's in public domain -


also in public domain is this early adaptation of I Am Legend with Vincent Price. I think it's better than the Will Smith version.

 
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Argarth

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Really enjoyed it. Cast was excellent, especially John M and Sandra B. Not normally a genre pick for me, but had my attention right to the end. Very pleasantly surprised.
 
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Caliane

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Looks like another shitty addition to the Don't X theme of movies. I look forward to the inevitable He who smelt it dealt it horror movie where smelling something means you die!
Just starting this now. And, I was 100% in that camp. I almost didnt watch it, because the premise as stated in the taglines, etc sounded so fucking stupid.
A monster that appears as your worst fear. It sounded really lame, and a copy of the equally stupid, "fear smelling" alien from After earth, and the sound alien from A quiet place.
I was expecting an actual monster hunting people, that just looked like giant spider or whatever dumb shit the lame director imagined.

but, now starting this, the explanation makes much more sense. A phantasmal horror induces suicide. Fear inducing monsters have long been a staple of dnd, games, stories. both fantasy and lovecraftian, 90% of SCP monsters.... It currently has more in common with "the happening". A 100% better version... the idea of a psychotropic light, sound, drug, etc inducing madness, mindcontrol, and/or delusions is good. Pontypool, etc. We'll see where this goes...

Some thoughts further along.
about half way now. At the point where she finds a ymca camp with the blankets she needs 250ft of fishing line away from her accidentally overturning her boat and losing her blankets... how convenient... I think the real issue I have atm is the creatures apparently caring about killing people. Its basically the same problem 90% of ghost/demonic possession movies have. why are they wasting days/months/years moving chairs and pictures frames to spook people, if they want them dead? If they are stalking around looking for people to kill, how is anyone still alive? ok, lets say they have no physical bodies at all. So, they CAN'T just straight murder people, remove their blindfolds, etc.. ok. but what was stopping them from walking through the walls of the house, or car? Red tape ghosts from The pulse... perhaps that will be the case of intangible.. but, 5 years after, during this river trip, she is reacting to the threat of one, as if it could physically hurt her. when she should be repeating the mantra of "it can't hurt you if you don't open your eyes."
imho, that direction would be a wrong choice anyway. the creatures having intent at all is a mistake. LET the creatures be otherworldy monstrosities, that cause madness and devotion just by existing. The Cultists that form around such a creature are then more dangerous and terrifying then the creatures. I mean, Apostle earlier this year..
 
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Arbitrary

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I would have liked the film a little bit more if Charlie, the grocery store clerk, shouted out I ATTEMPT TO DISBELIEVE first


phan.png
 
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Gamma Rays

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I got me some drive through McDonalds last night.

Anyways just after getting the meal handed to me, I start to drive off slowly, the 16 year old girl in the serving window starts to talk to her co-worker.

"Oh have you seen Bird-box? You've got to, its so good!"

So it rates high with that target group.
 
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Sterling

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I would describe this movie as aggressively mediocre. It's not terrible, but is in no way worthy of the hype attached to it.
 
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spronk

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This is a Lifetime "the mom who has to do it all" soap opera movie with a thin post-apoc/scifi veneer, similar to how Passengers is a rom-com really not a sci fi movie. Insanely predictable and tropey, terrible ending, every single thing that happens you see 10 minutes ahead of time. A Quiet Place does pretty much every single thing better, I am seriously baffled as to why it has gotten so much hype over the last few days.

If you thought A Quiet Place was unbelievable (in terms of how things may be unrealistic) you will absolutely detest this movie

spoilers for those who don't want to waste 2 hours but wanna know what happens so they can pretend they saw when talking to any hot chicks
Sandra Bullock, Malorie, is preggo. Standard post apocalyptic opening ala Last of Us / World War Z prologue, world going to hell with people committing suicide when they see "something" (their eyes change) instead of killing other people. Malorie holes up in a house with a Star Trek ethnic cast (two black guys, gay asian guy, white trash guy, white old Trump guy, hot hispanic girl, dumb pregnant blonde, old lady) and they go through usual shit as the cast gets whittled down one by one due to being incredibly stupid. Fantastically the electricity somehow stays on for years and everyone looks like they bathe, shave, and apply makeup every day.

Turns out crazy/psychotic people don't wanna kill themselves, they wanna have everyone else "see" so that becomes the bad guys for the second half of the movie but of course they are hilariously incompetent always so its mostly just SandyB and her black boyfriend raising kids, boyfriend sacrifices himself to save the other three who flee on boat to a sanctuary they hear about on the radio.

They have travails on the river, mostly nature vs. 3 blind people, and are chased down by monsters we never actually see just gusts of wind in the leaves that constantly whisper to SandyB "yo take off that blindfold its me your lover / sister / mom / etc I'm dead but you know if you take off your blindfold maybe we can talk". Of course she bravely never does and makes it to the santuary, which turns out to be...

A SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND lol thats the final twist, those people are safe from the monsters and take in refugees and apparently can grow food and shit to feed hundreds of people they also all have nice clothes and electricity and makeup because FUCK YOU BLIND PEOPLE CAN DO ANYTHING OK.

goddamn that was stupid lol

yeah big eye girl from Alita is in it, she's the hispanic young chick. Also the asian bad guy from Mr. Robot is in it, the old lady from Blunt Talk, the black guy from Get Out who is the paramedic friend, and the black guy from Predator
 
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