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Black Widow (2020)
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spronk
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Yeah super glad I watched this at home, I was just indifferent. Its not bad, its not good, its just mid tier MCU. If I wasted the time to drive out to theaters, sit during previews, etc I probably woulda been pissed at how utterly mediocre this is.
It woulda been fine if it released sometime after Civil War and before Infinity War, but now it just so bizarre. Nothing important happens, the end stinger is stupid, I didn't really get any important backstory to Black Widow who feels mostly invisible in her own movie, and the villains are right there with "worst MCU villain lineup". Taskmaster was just terrible, you could cut out every single one of its scenes and you'd have the same movie. The more you think about Taskmaster in this movie the angrier you will get at what a shit job they did.
Florence Pugh (Yelena) and Red Guardian were the only good parts of the movie. The entire movie is just a mash up of Bourne and Winter Soldier, but not as good as either.
Its a real shame they can't draw upon their deep bench, no appearances at all by anyone important and just a few cameos would have made so much more sense and made the movie so much better.
It woulda been fine if it released sometime after Civil War and before Infinity War, but now it just so bizarre. Nothing important happens, the end stinger is stupid, I didn't really get any important backstory to Black Widow who feels mostly invisible in her own movie, and the villains are right there with "worst MCU villain lineup". Taskmaster was just terrible, you could cut out every single one of its scenes and you'd have the same movie. The more you think about Taskmaster in this movie the angrier you will get at what a shit job they did.
Florence Pugh (Yelena) and Red Guardian were the only good parts of the movie. The entire movie is just a mash up of Bourne and Winter Soldier, but not as good as either.
Its a real shame they can't draw upon their deep bench, no appearances at all by anyone important and just a few cameos would have made so much more sense and made the movie so much better.
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Xarpolis
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Ok, movie just ended. Not the after credits scene yet. My reaction is I liked it. A lot actually. The film was pretty much 100% female cast, minus like 4 guys with a speaking role, and that's fine. It was a good movie.
Thank you Marvel! I've missed you so much.
Thank you Marvel! I've missed you so much.
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Asshat wormie
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spronk
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post credit stinger spoiler
Yelena is at the grave of Natasha Romanov (Black Widow), paying respects to her dead sister who died in Avengers End Game, sacrificing herself so Hawkeye lives and gets the soulstone.
She hears a person blow her nose really loud, and Contessa Valentina aka Lulia Louis-Dreyfus aka Elaine Benes shows up. She was previously seen in Falcon and Winter Soldier recruiting US Soldier to her new organization - in comics, Contessa is known as Lady Hydra and sort of a lover and evil-ish mirror of Nick Fury.
They chat for a bit, Yelena says she needs a pay raise and Valentina says don't they all. Yelena mentions that she is on vacation, Lady V says she only came because she has her next target, and its personal. Shows a picture of Hawkeye, and says wouldn't she like to get revenge on the person who killed her sister?
DUN DUN DUN setup for Hawkeye the TV show, which involves Hawkeye training Kate Bishop (to replace him) and apparently a war between Contessa's group and Hawkeye?
Seems dumb like fuck, Yelena should know Black Widow sacrified herself to save Hawkeye so Valentina pretending Hawkeye "killed" her is Batman v Superman stupid.
She hears a person blow her nose really loud, and Contessa Valentina aka Lulia Louis-Dreyfus aka Elaine Benes shows up. She was previously seen in Falcon and Winter Soldier recruiting US Soldier to her new organization - in comics, Contessa is known as Lady Hydra and sort of a lover and evil-ish mirror of Nick Fury.
They chat for a bit, Yelena says she needs a pay raise and Valentina says don't they all. Yelena mentions that she is on vacation, Lady V says she only came because she has her next target, and its personal. Shows a picture of Hawkeye, and says wouldn't she like to get revenge on the person who killed her sister?
DUN DUN DUN setup for Hawkeye the TV show, which involves Hawkeye training Kate Bishop (to replace him) and apparently a war between Contessa's group and Hawkeye?
Seems dumb like fuck, Yelena should know Black Widow sacrified herself to save Hawkeye so Valentina pretending Hawkeye "killed" her is Batman v Superman stupid.
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Sanrith Descartes
Veteran of a thousand threadban wars
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You pretty much typed what I was going to say. Mid tier for Marvel. Sister and Red Guardian were the plusses. Kinda sad that the star isn't the best part of the movie.
Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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lol thats some shit tier writing. imagine your theatrical release movie is just a setup for a shitty web TV show about a shit tier Avenger.
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Nola
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Angerz
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eh, we have to see how loki ends, but it seems like they are going from "every movie matters" to "Every movie matters, plus you better sub to D+ for more shows" like the Kingdom Hearts writers are in charge now.
Between Kate Bishop in Hawkeye, Speed and Wiccan in WandaVision, Kid Loki in Loki, Yelena in this movie, US Agent and Madame Hydra in Falcon & WS, they are heading for Young Avengers and something from Thunderbolts/Leviathan/Secret War (and we know they are doing a Secret Invasion show already).
Chukzombi
Millie's Staff Member
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i kinda noped out of D+ after Blacktain America scolded me for being white. happy you're enjoying it .
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Downhammer
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Despite the title, I'm pretty sure, coming as it does after we know scarjo dies, that this was always intended to be a Yelena origin story. Not even despite the title since all the chicks are technically "black widows."
Xarpolis
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Previews showed The Eternals. Honestly, it didn't look terrible except for the humor that didn't land. Autocorrect is the worst.
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Fucker
Log Wizard
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An aggressively bland movie. Been trying to watch it all day and started fast forwarding halfway through.
You know you are getting old when Rachael Weisz looks like Clancy Brown and Scarlett Johansson needs Spanx underwear.
Also, they kind of mostly left Black Widow out of her own movie.
MCU is dead in terms of good movies.
You know you are getting old when Rachael Weisz looks like Clancy Brown and Scarlett Johansson needs Spanx underwear.
Also, they kind of mostly left Black Widow out of her own movie.
MCU is dead in terms of good movies.
Xarpolis
Life's a Dream
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