Deaths and Inheritance

TJT · Nov 5, 2018

So, this isn't meant to be a pity party or anything. My 95 year old Grandma passed away. She had a good long life and just didn't wake up on Sunday. While we are sad, I'd say everyone is handling it pretty well. The grief bit is not really the issue.

This is my father's mother and my grandfather had significant assets (~$10M+). I personally do not give a shit about anything regarding the will but I absolutely do not want to see this devolve into a fighting over the scraps family attacking each other god damn mess that I just foresee happening. My late grandfather and grandmother both had pretty extensive families with many siblings. I think a lot of people are going to come out of the woodwork here and it frankly disgusts me.

Not sure what will happen I just don't think it will be anything good. My father is currently executor on the estate of another family friend with significant assets for the sole reason that she's known him for his entire life and to keep her now elderly kids from robbing her blind and being shitheads to each other.

I do not know what my part will be to play in all of this so I'll keep you all posted. Do any of you have any experience with this kind of issue? Thoughts? Tips?

Funkor · Nov 5, 2018

TJT said:
So, this isn't meant to be a pity party or anything. My 95 year old Grandma passed away. She had a good long life and just didn't wake up on Sunday. While we are sad, I'd say everyone is handling it pretty well. The grief bit is not really the issue.

This is my father's mother and my grandfather had significant assets (~$10M+). I personally do not give a shit about anything regarding the will but I absolutely do not want to see this devolve into a fighting over the scraps family attacking each other god damn mess that I just foresee happening. My late grandfather and grandmother both had pretty extensive families with many siblings. I think a lot of people are going to come out of the woodwork here and it frankly disgusts me.

Not sure what will happen I just don't think it will be anything good. My father is currently executor on the estate of another family friend with significant assets for the sole reason that she's known him for his entire life and to keep her now elderly kids from robbing her blind and being shitheads to each other.

I do not know what my part will be to play in all of this so I'll keep you all posted. Do any of you have any experience with this kind of issue? Thoughts? Tips?

Do you drink son? You might want to start because these things always turn into a shitshow.

With a large estate like that it can absorb the costs of having a lawyer/trust or some other third party executor that won't cause a bunch of hurt feelings bullshit from family fighting with each other. Is there a Will and all that stuff? Is a family member taking care of the estate or did they already get a lawyer for it?

TJT · Nov 5, 2018

Funkor said:
Do you drink son? You might want to start because these things always turn into a shitshow.

With a large estate like that it can absorb the costs of having a lawyer/trust or some other third party executor that won't cause a bunch of hurt feelings bullshit from family fighting with each other. Is there a Will and all that stuff? Is a family member taking care of the estate or did they already get a lawyer for it?

I honestly don't know all of the details at that level yet. I do know my trainwreck older sister who's 38 and can barely keep a job or avoid being homeless was in town from an 11 hour drive the same day. Odds of her going back to Washington wherever she was living are zero. Grandma lived on some Grade A property that is now vacant.

Since my father had set up all of that for our family friend I hope he is smart enough to have something similar here but I just don't know.

So yeah the shitshow is beginning.

Funkor · Nov 5, 2018

TJT said:
I honestly don't know all of the details at that level yet. I do know my trainwreck older sister who's 38 and can barely keep a job or avoid being homeless was in town from an 11 hour drive the same day. Odds of her going back to Washington wherever she was living are zero. Grandma lived on some Grade A property that is now vacant.

Since my father had set up all of that for our family friend I hope he is smart enough to have something similar here but I just don't know.

So yeah the shitshow is beginning.

Document everything (emails, texts, meetings) if things seem like they're going to escalate to more lawyers getting involved. Hell, look around for a lawyer who has experience with this stuff that you or your dad could talk to just to give you more advice. I'm sure they've seen everything under the sun when it comes to people fighting over money.

wormie · Nov 5, 2018

People with 10 mil dollar estates usually have wills. If there is a will, fighting should be minimum relative to if there isn't a will.

Frenzied Wombat · Nov 5, 2018

TJT said:
So, this isn't meant to be a pity party or anything. My 95 year old Grandma passed away. She had a good long life and just didn't wake up on Sunday. While we are sad, I'd say everyone is handling it pretty well. The grief bit is not really the issue.

This is my father's mother and my grandfather had significant assets (~$10M+). I personally do not give a shit about anything regarding the will but I absolutely do not want to see this devolve into a fighting over the scraps family attacking each other god damn mess that I just foresee happening. My late grandfather and grandmother both had pretty extensive families with many siblings. I think a lot of people are going to come out of the woodwork here and it frankly disgusts me.

Not sure what will happen I just don't think it will be anything good. My father is currently executor on the estate of another family friend with significant assets for the sole reason that she's known him for his entire life and to keep her now elderly kids from robbing her blind and being shitheads to each other.

I do not know what my part will be to play in all of this so I'll keep you all posted. Do any of you have any experience with this kind of issue? Thoughts? Tips?

If your grandma had a clear, concise, notarized will the chances of it turning into a cluster are minimized, but if she didn't nobody will see that money for about a decade, and when you do half of it will go to lawyers.

I went through this with my grandmother as my mom died before her, so I replaced my mom as an inheritor, which left me to fight with my uncles when my grandma finally passed. Even with a will it was a shitshow-- an uncle tried to pull a fast one with some "hidden" funds-- so be prepared.

Borzak · Nov 5, 2018

My grandmother has a will and put a lot of stuff in the name of the people she wanted to have it. Not household items and such, but she put her house and land in my dads name so she lives there rent free. She put the timber land into a trust for me and my sister and such.

To be honest the only things people might fight over are household items but she doesn't have much. Maybe some handmade stuff she used to paint and such but she's given a lot of that stuff away already thru the years. Her having one son and two grandchildren is a big help. The larger the family the more problems I would assume.

My cousin lives within walking distance next door and she doesn't have a key to the house for a reason. I also have a key and am on the safety deposit box where some of the stuff is kept, including a copy of the will. I've put stuff in and out several times and the lady who checks me in I've known all my life. She would know if someone was up to "no good" besides not being on the list, she also lives just down the road from my grandmother and they go to church together.

On the other side of the family an aunt stole from her mother before and after she died. Kind of always on the lookout for that kind of stuff.

TJT · Nov 5, 2018

Frenzied Wombat said:
If your grandma had a clear, concise, notarized will the chances of it turning into a cluster are minimized, but if she didn't nobody will see that money for about a decade, and when you do half of it will go to lawyers.

I went through this with my grandmother as my mom died before her, so I replaced my mom as an inheritor, which left me to fight with my uncles when my grandma finally passed. Even with a will it was a shitshow-- an uncle tried to pull a fast one with some "hidden" funds-- so be prepared.

I truly do not give a shit about the money. Seeing my own family turn on each other like animals is something I'd prefer not to have to see at all.

Frenzied Wombat · Nov 5, 2018

TJT said:
I truly do not give a shit about the money. Seeing my own family turn on each other like animals is something I'd prefer not to have to see at all.

Well I'd like to think a 95 year old lady with 10 million had a will. Not that it is a guarantee against friction-- if grandma favors some over others that can create fights and resentment as well.

I remember when my paternal grandmother died, it was revealed that she had rewritten the will in her final months to favor my dad more than his siblings, because it was my dad that took care of her the most towards the end. That created a shit ton of resentment, fighting, and threats to contest the will. In the end, in order to avoid the will getting held up in a lengthy court fight, my dad agreed to give his siblings a greater amount than what was specified in the will. And even after that their relationship was never the same. That was only based on a pool of like $250k, so imagine what 10 million will bring... Buckle up buckaroo.

ZyyzYzzy · Nov 5, 2018

TJT said:
I truly do not give a shit about the money. Seeing my own family turn on each other like animals is something I'd prefer not to have to see at all.

I hope you don't have to see that and sorry for your loss.

That shit sucks, I saw both of my uncles, who are both wealthy become estranged when a great aunt died.

chthonic-anemos · Nov 5, 2018

Don't attend any questionable invitations or free vacations.

Goatface · Nov 5, 2018

if a bad apple does turn up, be sure to try to keep calm.
people that know how to work the system will try to push buttons
first sign of trouble, have everything go through lawyers

also, if she had any pain meds, be sure to turn them into police or where ever they suggest
when we turned in some, they had system set up to protect people from false claims
paperwork, pictures, and receipts

BrutulTM · Nov 5, 2018

Pray that she had a thorough and up to date will. This sort of thing happens all the time in farm/ranch families and when it goes bad, it can get really ugly. We made it through my grandparents dying with a lot less drama than there could have been, but it still resulted in some of my Mom's sisters not speaking to one another for the better part of a decade.

moonarchia · Nov 9, 2018

My grandparents had no real assets to speak of when they passed away. My mom's side had done the reverse mortgage thing years before, so no property left, and hospital and elderly assistance drained any funds. On my dad's side there was no money either, just a lot of knick knacks. The kids just split it up amicably and let lawyers handle selling the house. I think they short saled it, actually. Won't be an issue for me and my sister. I've already told my parents to leave everything to her. Since my health is precarious right now, I may end up leaving all my stuff to them as is.

Jessika · Feb 7, 2019

TJT said:
So, this isn't meant to be a pity party or anything. My 95 year old Grandma passed away. She had a good long life and just didn't wake up on Sunday. While we are sad, I'd say everyone is handling it pretty well. The grief bit is not really the issue.

This is my father's mother and my grandfather had significant assets (~$10M+). I personally do not give a shit about anything regarding the will but I absolutely do not want to see this devolve into a fighting over the scraps family attacking each other god damn mess that I just foresee happening. My late grandfather and grandmother both had pretty extensive families with many siblings. I think a lot of people are going to come out of the woodwork here and it frankly disgusts me.

Not sure what will happen I just don't think it will be anything good. My father is currently executor on the estate of another family friend with significant assets for the sole reason that she's known him for his entire life and to keep her now elderly kids from robbing her blind and being shitheads to each other.

I do not know what my part will be to play in all of this so I'll keep you all posted. Do any of you have any experience with this kind of issue? Thoughts? Tips?

First and foremost, I am so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter how well everyone seems to be doing, I know that it can feel like a raging inferno inside. Losing your grandma is hard, but you can get through it.
Second, it really depends on your state laws. Usually if one doesn't have a will, all of her assets will pass to the next of kin. Since she has no husband, it will pass to her children. That means that if she had four children, it will be split four ways plus a portion would also belong to their respective spouses. The house is where it gets tricky. If one child does not want to have only part of the house, they can force the others to sell. I have worked in estate law and it gets messy only when they don't agree. Which is a lot of the time. I just went through this with my Dad when he passed. The house went to me, mom, and my two brothers. We had to sign a deed of gift under a notary and submit it to the court in order to keep the house. (We gifted the estate to my mother). Though, my dad didn't have much money; all of that went to my mom anyways. Even with multi-million dollar estates, it can go smoothly. It just depends on whether or not the kids what to bicker and be assholes. I really hope it works out well for you.

Sumdain x · Feb 19, 2019

My dad passed away on February 10th. Literally one of the hardest working people I've ever known. I was adopted from birth and never questioned if he thought it was the right thing to do. He was 67 years old and generally pretty healthy, he had a back surgery and knee replacement recently. He also owned a demolition and lot clearing business that he was retiring from in the next few years.

My grandmother suffers from severe dementia and had just discussed with my wife last month that I never wanted my dad to get to where grandma is, that he wouldn't know where he was, or recognize people. I had debated moving closer to home to spend more time with him and my mother. I had come home for a job interview February 8th for an interview at Ft Bragg (I got the job). February 9th dad went to work and slipped and fell off a dumptruck and hit his head. He layed on the ground for 5-10 minutes before anyone found him.

Initially paramedics thought it was a stroke or heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital where we met him, he was slowly becoming incoherent, he knew his birthday, and recognized my mom but looked like he was struggling to recognize me. He had a skull fracture, and his brain was slowly swelling and bleeding. We decided to put him under to prevent something else from happening. He said "I love you sweetheart" to my mom before he went under... He never woke up and was pronounced brain dead on February 10th. He was an organ donor and the hospital found a recipient for his kidneys.

My dad wasn't a rich man, but he did own a lot of machinery like dumptrucks, front loader, excavators, backhoes, and bulldozers. They are all paid for but most are in disrepair, like I said he had planned to completely retire in a few years. All the equipment is probably in the neighborhood of 200-250k. Now I have literally my entire family coming out of the woodwork asking what my mother is doing with the equipment. My cousin asked if he could "take over" the business. I want my mom to sell everything and enjoy the money, she retires in 2 years and has enough money that she'll never have to work but this could go a long way to help. I don't want a dime of it, but I'm not letting the money go outside of my mother.

This is a little long winded and not sure what I'm asking or saying, but I feel this was a little cathartic typing it all out.

Hateyou · Feb 19, 2019

How’d this ever turn out

TJT ?

Luckily I have boomer parents with barely anything saved for their retirement and nothing of note to their name!

I do have a couple sisters who are broke cause they have seven kids, I fully expect them to feel entitled to anything left over should that ever happen. Most likely I’ll be paying for funerals though, mom has never made much and horrible with what she does get, dad has blown his 401k a few times throughout his life on spontaneous shit.

TJT · Feb 19, 2019

Hateyou

My Grandma did end up having her assets well structured. So most of the bloodletting was avoided. Still had a bunch of distant relatives come into town and try and pry this or that from it that they knew she had. So that was good.

My shitbag older sister moved into my Grandma's old house under the auspices of, "staying a few days to help out." She's still there though and my dad hasn't had the heart to forcibly evict her yet. But that will be happening sooner or later. Nothing was left to her and she's salty about that as she, "never had a home to call her own" or whatever dumb shit she likes to say. Since it just so happens my Grandma's house is vacant at the moment she will milk it for all she can and attempt to get it for herself.

My father intends to keep the house which complicates that part. But I guess it's just general family friction now. Hopefully my older sister wanders off eventually back to whatever place she was at.

Noodleface · Feb 19, 2019

Sumdain x said:
My dad passed away on February 10th. Literally one of the hardest working people I've ever known. I was adopted from birth and never questioned if he thought it was the right thing to do. He was 67 years old and generally pretty healthy, he had a back surgery and knee replacement recently. He also owned a demolition and lot clearing business that he was retiring from in the next few years.

My grandmother suffers from severe dementia and had just discussed with my wife last month that I never wanted my dad to get to where grandma is, that he wouldn't know where he was, or recognize people. I had debated moving closer to home to spend more time with him and my mother. I had come home for a job interview February 8th for an interview at Ft Bragg (I got the job). February 9th dad went to work and slipped and fell off a dumptruck and hit his head. He layed on the ground for 5-10 minutes before anyone found him.

Initially paramedics thought it was a stroke or heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital where we met him, he was slowly becoming incoherent, he knew his birthday, and recognized my mom but looked like he was struggling to recognize me. He had a skull fracture, and his brain was slowly swelling and bleeding. We decided to put him under to prevent something else from happening. He said "I love you sweetheart" to my mom before he went under... He never woke up and was pronounced brain dead on February 10th. He was an organ donor and the hospital found a recipient for his kidneys.

My dad wasn't a rich man, but he did own a lot of machinery like dumptrucks, front loader, excavators, backhoes, and bulldozers. They are all paid for but most are in disrepair, like I said he had planned to completely retire in a few years. All the equipment is probably in the neighborhood of 200-250k. Now I have literally my entire family coming out of the woodwork asking what my mother is doing with the equipment. My cousin asked if he could "take over" the business. I want my mom to sell everything and enjoy the money, she retires in 2 years and has enough money that she'll never have to work but this could go a long way to help. I don't want a dime of it, but I'm not letting the money go outside of my mother.

This is a little long winded and not sure what I'm asking or saying, but I feel this was a little cathartic typing it all out.

Sorry for your loss dude

If you've got no interest in running the company, just sell it. Your cousin can even buy it if he wants.

BrutulTM · Feb 19, 2019

Sumdain x said:
My dad passed away on February 10th. Literally one of the hardest working people I've ever known. I was adopted from birth and never questioned if he thought it was the right thing to do. He was 67 years old and generally pretty healthy, he had a back surgery and knee replacement recently. He also owned a demolition and lot clearing business that he was retiring from in the next few years.

My grandmother suffers from severe dementia and had just discussed with my wife last month that I never wanted my dad to get to where grandma is, that he wouldn't know where he was, or recognize people. I had debated moving closer to home to spend more time with him and my mother. I had come home for a job interview February 8th for an interview at Ft Bragg (I got the job). February 9th dad went to work and slipped and fell off a dumptruck and hit his head. He layed on the ground for 5-10 minutes before anyone found him.

Initially paramedics thought it was a stroke or heart attack. He was rushed to the hospital where we met him, he was slowly becoming incoherent, he knew his birthday, and recognized my mom but looked like he was struggling to recognize me. He had a skull fracture, and his brain was slowly swelling and bleeding. We decided to put him under to prevent something else from happening. He said "I love you sweetheart" to my mom before he went under... He never woke up and was pronounced brain dead on February 10th. He was an organ donor and the hospital found a recipient for his kidneys.

My dad wasn't a rich man, but he did own a lot of machinery like dumptrucks, front loader, excavators, backhoes, and bulldozers. They are all paid for but most are in disrepair, like I said he had planned to completely retire in a few years. All the equipment is probably in the neighborhood of 200-250k. Now I have literally my entire family coming out of the woodwork asking what my mother is doing with the equipment. My cousin asked if he could "take over" the business. I want my mom to sell everything and enjoy the money, she retires in 2 years and has enough money that she'll never have to work but this could go a long way to help. I don't want a dime of it, but I'm not letting the money go outside of my mother.

This is a little long winded and not sure what I'm asking or saying, but I feel this was a little cathartic typing it all out.

Sorry for your loss. My Dad was killed in a similar work related accident in 2008 when he was 55 years old.

I think that you are correct that the machinery needs to be sold and the money should go to your Mom. It's a no-brainer really. When the time comes, either consign it to a machinery auction or hire an auction company to have an auction at his shop or better yet, have a live bidding auction over the internet. You will be hard pressed to sell the shit at a fair price yourself and it will take a ton of time. A well advertised auction is incredibly effective at finding what the shit is worth and a lot of times it sells for more than it's worth because people get competitive and overbid. Also the auction company will deal with advertising it, getting it all picked up, and getting it paid for. All you have to do is show them where the stuff is and pick up a check at the end. It's well worth the commission they take for doing it.

That said, I would strongly encourage you to not do that right away. Making family financial decisions in a state of grief is a recipe for disaster. When my Dad died people told us not to make any major decisions for a year and that was good advice. If there's not an immediate need for cash, park that shit in a line and let it sit there for a few months and deal with it when everyone is in a better state of mind. Tell the family that you're going to take some time before you make a decision. Then tell your cousin that if he wants to take over the business he's welcome to buy the machinery at the auction.

Deaths and Inheritance

Mr. Poopybutthole

Molten Core Raider

Mr. Poopybutthole

Molten Core Raider

Asshat wormie

2023 Asshat Award Winner

Potato del Grande

Bronze Baron of the Realm

Mr. Poopybutthole

Potato del Grande

RIP USA

bitchute.com/video/EvyOjOORbg5l/

Avatar of War Slayer

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.

The Scientific Shitlord

Peasant

Trakanon Raider

Not Great, Not Terrible

Mr. Poopybutthole

A Mod Real Quick

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.